Beijing Huan Ying Ni!

Cultural Awakenings.

2011-10-30T12:26:00.005+08:00

When you live overseas, even after 7 years (ack, has it really been that long?) you will find yourself confronted with cultural...incompatabilities. I have known a few people that really have become culturally assimilated into a new culture, but for most of us...even though you become very flexible and patient when things don't go the way you expect (or think they should), there are times when you throw up your hands and say, "I will NEVER understand this."

For me in China, it's driving. Driving is an exercise that challenges every single notion of whatever seems organized and predictable and regular. It challenges every bit of patience and self-control. It is wonderful to be able to drive because it does give you a lot of freedom, but I still hire drivers and take cabs into the city sometimes, due to traffic and parking headaches. If you don't know where you're going and you get lost, it is a looooooong time to get straightened out.

There are 22 million people and some 6 million cars. Beijing does have fantastic roads, considering they were built when there were hardly any cars on the streets, and Beijing does have actual rules and regulations for safe driving (I know, I did take the test and know exactly what to do if I'm in an accident and my passenger has become somehow disemboweled--I get a bowl and place it over my friend's stomach so I can contain the intestines). Beijingers often drive the way you might walk or ride a bike--at variable speeds (a freeway can have people driving 90+ mph and 35 mph--in the same lane...and you can back up if you miss an exit).

The horn is essential and you must use it all. the. time. Back home, the horn, aside from that friendly "beep" reminding you that the light is green, signifies a pretty big misstep--changing lanes without looking, cutting someone off, etc. Here, the horn is applied when you come up behind someone, when you are turning, when you see someone else turning, when you see a bike/scooter/pedestrian, when you are passing, when you are being passed...you get the idea. Using your blinker is optional, and rather pointless, since no one will pay attention to it. Turning may be accomplished whenever you think of it, from whatever lane you happen to be in. Not sure what to do? Just stop and think about it. It's OK if you're in the middle of a lane. Or an intersection. Or a driveway. We can drive around you because using the oncoming lane is always a viable option.

In America we spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about other people. Don't take too much, there might be others. Don't stand so close, the other person might feel uncomfortable. Defensive driving is all about thinking about the other person. In China, it is all about me. If there is an inch between me and the car in front of me, then a car will definitely swerve in, forcing me to brake (hard). It's OK, because it's my responsibility to get out of his way. If I'm turning onto a road, I don't have to look, because it's the responsibility of the oncoming car to see me turning and slow down or get out of the way. It's taken 3 years, but I've finally figured out the rules and expectations (which have nothing to do with the driving exam questions I learned).

There has been NOTHING living overseas that has inspired more ill feelings toward my host country or put me in a sweaty fit than driving. I never was a tense or frustrated driver, but here....grrrrr. Never in my life have I choked back so much profanity! It amuses me to think that something so silly as how people drive sparks such a reaction--I think it's because when I'm in the car, I'm going somewhere and it's then that I miss the ability to be efficient and get so much done on an outing, ala America. EVERYTHING takes so long and EVERYWHERE we go, it's in a monstrous crowd, whether it's on a freeway or in a shop. When in Rome, though...so I do what I need to, because driving by "my" rules won't get my anywhere--literally. Watch out!

Panjiyuan

2011-10-30T11:13:00.007+08:00

Panjiyuan is also known as the Dirt Market. In the "olden days" (which here can mean 50 years ago--or 5) the market was in a space with no pavement...now it's been spruced up. For some reason it doesn't make the top of the lists for tourists, but it should. While the Pearl Market and the Silk Market have all the electronics and knock-offs, the Dirt Market has all the trinkets and "real" antiques (haha--things that are made antique by burying stuff in the ground and letting it age for a bit). Some things are old, though--I think it's funny when I'm told that "no, this is not old, only 150 years" because to a people whose culture is 5,000 years old, it is new!

The dirt market is only open on the weekends and best early in the morning. It's busy and crowded and there's always something unusual to see. Like this:

Man's best friend(s)...FOREVER. And a rabbit. Today several people were selling furs outside the main entrance. I really don't know what kind of furs they are, but many of them are clearly dyed and painted to look exotic. I suppose some of them might be dogs, but I couldn't tell, and they absolutely would not let me take pictures. The expression on this black dog, however...he does seem completely astonished to find himself in such a state.

We also saw a guy getting thrashed by two other guys, who were kicking and punching the snot out of him. I wondered if he was a thief...but he was really getting a beating. As we walked on, we saw security guards running over there, but they all looked about 16 in their faded baggy uniforms. I wondered if they would have any authority to stop things. When we lived in Tanzania, we saw thieves beaten terribly and knew that often they would be killed. I haven't seen as much of that here, but obviously, being caught stealing is taken seriously by people on their own.

Roasted sweet potatoes mean fall in Beijing. I don't like sweet potatoes...but the smell of them baking is heavenly!

The lanterns are thin fabric and wire like chicken wire. So so cute hanging in groups from a ceiling. Mark has them in his reception space and I love them.

Already learning the requesite photo pose.

The Dirt Market is one of the places to see a few of the minority cultures. China has a lot of different ethnic groups but the Han are by far the most numerous. This woman is Miao...her long long long hair is very recognizable. They sell a lot of textiles, some of them looking a lot like Hmong fabric--and amazing silver work, like this:

These necklaces look heavy, but they're very light--the silver is so thin.

A lot of monks were shopping that morning--I always snoop and eavesdrop on what the Chinese are buying--and how much they're paying! Haggling is a challenge here--prices do not come down easily or quickly.

Relics of a bygone era...some of the clocks are old, but the toys are not. Still, looking at them reminds me of the 1950's...these booths have such a nostalgic feel. The toys are very popular--there's always a crowd around his table.

If you come to visit, we'll take you shopping...it's great!

Scenes from the Jing--courtesy of Instagram.

2011-10-09T19:04:00.012+08:00

There is so much beauty in small things...these are from my new iTouch. I used an app called "Instagram." It's a visual Twitter--instead of tweeting your 140 characters, you use photos to "comment" on what you're doing. Ava's teacher last year is incredibly visual and has a fantastic eye. Her instagrams are like works of art. I don't have anyone following me--I just love the filters you can apply. A lot of them make your photos look older or faded and some of them have those old photo borders on them.

The Price of Things

2011-10-05T20:26:00.005+08:00

Everyone always wants to know if it's expensive living overseas. Yes--and no. Some things make living overseas easy--a lot of our expenses that would be out of pocket are covered as part of our work contracts. There are perks in many countries like affordable domestic help that definitely make life easier. Things that locals eat, especially if you buy them at local shops or markets--rice, fruits, vegetables, some meats--are cheaper.

Some other things are similar in some respects, but because we have more disposable income (because of the expenses our contracts cover), we can do them. Lots of restaurants charge American prices (and no refills!) but at a Chinese restaurant, even one in our expat area, we can eat and drink as a family of 5 for less than $50. Movie tickets are about $10 per person, but since China only allows 25 foreign movies per year, there aren't a lot of times we go--besides, you can buy a DVD for about $1.50.

Other things are more--gas right now is running between $7-8 per gallon. Ouch--but when the weather is nice we hardly ever drive the car (we use bikes and the scooter) and we don't have to drive very far (less than 2 miles) for work or daily activities. Obviously, the traveling that we do each year at Christmas is our major expense--and our summer costs are quite high since we don't have a house to live in.

Everyone goggles at the amount of luggage we carry back each summer--we buy almost all our clothes and personal toiletries back in the States. Clothing is very expensive here--if you buy at the markets, you have to bargain for everything, the prices are still high, the sizes are small, and the quality can be quite shoddy. Some local toiletry items are fine, but I just miss the scents and feel of some favorite things. Others are really pricy--I just saw L'Oreal kids' shampoo for $9.00 (!) today at the store. Anything that is not locally produced is much higher in price. Generally you can take the RMB price and divide by 7, then add a bit more to figure the USD price.

Hey. We're Minnesotans, and sometimes you do need a can of cream-of-something soup, even if you are paying $2 for it. And sometimes you just need a bowl of Double Noodle. Or Chef Boy-ar-dee Beefaroni. Stop judging me.

These babies show up often at our house--at over $3 a bag, they get eaten way too fast. And not by me (NOAH and CAMERON).

What is up with cereal products? For some reason, they are GOLD. Like this $8 box of oatmeal. Cereal is the same price. Even Malt-o-Meal. And the small box, not those family size boxes, either.

Luckily you can't tell when sour cream goes bad because you have to have it for tacos and the almost $5 price tag is for the yogurt-sized containers.

No more hot artichoke dip for me--to the dismay of my book club (honestly, one of the perks of living overseas is that perfectly ordinary things like broccoli salad and hot artichoke dip become fantastically original dishes). They used to sell larger cans for $4, but these petite jars at $10 make that yummy dip a thing of the past.

Other things we regularly buy--potato chips (the smaller bags) at $4-5 a bag, salsa (same price), and pasta ($3-4 per box). Sometimes we go in streaks--absolutely no cereal forEVER, then a few boxes find their way home. Bringing all that stuff back, at least for us, is not about not accepting life overseas--it's time and money management.

Change is for Wet Babies

2011-09-20T16:29:00.008+08:00

Once I lived here...and I loved it.

Then I lived here--we lived here.
And we loved it.
Well, not the weather.

And then we lived here.
And we loved it.
And, for the first time, we were sad to leave a place.

Now we live here.
And we like it. Well enough.
But now, change.
Unplanned change.
Unwanted change.
Uncertain change.

And again, we don't want to leave. Yet.

For a person that doesn't crave adventure, who resists change, who sometimes has this sneaking suspicion that life could be a lot more exciting, but then cuddles up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, her family, and a movie...I've been so surprised at how much I've loved living overseas. Part of the realization is that I could have everything I just mentioned in another country. I've had wonderful, hilarious, irritating, unforgettable, dangerous experiences--and I've had the family things I love as well.

The changes that I've experienced have been planned. I got to decide. I got to choose. I like a plan and I like to stick to that plan. And a lot of the time I actually can be flexible, but not about my larger life. I don't need someone or something mucking up my decisions. And that does include God, because, you know, HE might have other ideas...frightening, uncertain, possibly difficult ideas.

So realizing that we are likely going to have to move at a decidedly incovenient time (with an 11th grade son) and the fact that we will be jobless before we are...rejobbed...? is decidedly stressful. So many of my sentences start with, "I want...." or "If only..." when living overseas and life in general should have kicked all of that out of me. When I can recite at least 25 Bible verses by heart about my plans and God's plans. When what I want is really not for me, but for my family, so I'm being altruistic. When I KNOW that we are resilient and we are a strong family, but I STILL want what I want because what I want really isn't such a big deal to anyone else but me.

And yet, the times, they do change. Do I cling to possibilities here and risk disappointment, or fully jump into what lies ahead, doing so without feeling the assurances that faith is supposed to bring? Because I simply can't have the one more year that I want. And I can't see what's going to happen. And I don't like it at all. So I pray for "help." Some vague nebulous assistance for me, and our family, and our situation, for peace, or trust...because it seems to be all that I can do.

Get Sauced!

2011-08-22T21:01:00.006+08:00

Why, you ask, would someone assemble all of these ingredients to make a batch of what is already in the fridge and what you know is going to taste perfectly fine?

When your son turns to you and says, "Hey, we should make our own barbecue sauce and we could make it taste like Famous Dave's!" well, what can you do? Seriously, what can you do, because I'm not all that into cooking and if there's a way to divert his attention, maybe with something shiny, I'd like to know about it!

Three recipes--one spicy, one with a beer base, one with a Carolina-style vinegar approach. All start with some yellow onions, garlic, paprika, and chili powder.

It's important to carefully measure. It's also important to know the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspon, becuase they are NOT interchangeable.

I can't show you the rest of the carnage--thank goodness I have an ayi! No seriously, I cleaned it up...we don't do that to poor Xiao! The smell of the cayenne and onions had our eyes watering way out to the living room.

On the left, beer sauce, on the right, the vinegar sauce. In the middle, the "spicy space." I thought we should have a catchy name like "Hell's on Fire" but thanks to creative (mis)spelling, we now have our famous "Spicy Space" sauce.

I made shredded pork (a pork tenderloin, beer and chicken broth, and then dump in a bunch of onion, garlic, and peppers or whatever might make it taste good and let it slow cook for 5-6 hours). Everyone decided to dip before piling it on the sandwich.

Smiles, or a grimace before grabbing that water to cool off the spicy sauce? Either way, he looks pretty satisfied. We all were, too. Three sauces, and each one was someone's favorite. The best overall in terms of texture and flavor was the spicy one--I'd definitely make it again, but tone it down for normal folks!

This is my delightful and quite unpredictable child. You need to CARPE DIEM whenever the opportunity arises with him. You know those emotional bank accounts or gas tanks the experts always talk about? We need to pay way ahead whenever we can, because the withdrawals can be heavy. My feelings about cooking and my love for easy-peasy aside, we had a GREAT afternoon together, my boy and I.

So You Were Saying You Want More China?

2011-08-22T19:22:00.002+08:00

Photo by Weda Bory

Here it is...a colleague captured this lovely and not atypical moment. On the brand-new subway line that just opened last spring. So maybe you want to bring your Wellies if you come to visit. Just in case.

Look at that Face!

2011-08-22T15:24:00.002+08:00

Look at that sweet face. Can you pretend along with me that this is an artsy shot and not what it really is--one of the worst pictures I may have ever taken in terms of quality? I SWORE there would be NO PUPPIES in my house, but Mark clearly was carrying residual guilt over his part in Peter's disappearance last spring, and he was the one who tipped the scales. I think I can still say NO PUPPIES because this is not a natural puppy...he doesn't chew on the shoes we leave out, he doesn't have accidents in the house, he doesn't gnaw on the furniture...seriously, it's unnatural. I think he's going to be a great addition to the family--he's already added so much life and spunk to the mix!

I've been very "eh" on the blog. I really like doing it, but I understand what serious bloggers say about needing a focus. Should it be family? China? Living abroad? We live in such a bubble that with work and all, I don't feel like I get out and about enough to make it interesting. I'm going to make a bigger commitment again this year, so we'll see. Most people make New Year's resolutions; teachers make back-to-school resolutions. Stay tuned!

A Legacy

2011-06-22T13:48:00.005+08:00

I had intended to post a long time ago about my father -in-law's funeral: how over 500 people attended, how every. single. person that spoke of him said the same thing, that he had changed their lives, that he always listened, that he always loved. That he was genuine and authentic. That he loved his Lord, loved his wife, and loved his children and there wasn't much more he needed. I've been a part of the Hillman family since I was 16 years old, but most of my life has been spent away from my in-laws. When I look at Mark as a man, as a husband, and as a father, I see Russ's legacy--not only in Mark, but in his siblings' lives as well. They are people that follow the Lord faithfully, that have no pretentions, and put their families first. I have spent a lot of time thinking about where I put my time and energy, how much time I spend trying to make an impression on others, and what exactly is my focus in life. I imagine we all spend some time in our lives wondering what our "legacy" will be. I don't know if Russ ever thought about that, but his memory is living on in the lives he touched throughout his life and ministry.

Mark's dad, however, could NOT throw anything away. EVER. It might have been something he felt attached to for sentimental reasons, or something that might come in handy some day, or maybe it seemed just wasteful to toss something you didn't really need, but no one else seemed to need it, either. The end result was a double garage that was stuffed full of...stuff. Bowling trophies from his army days. His Boy Scout uniforms. Annual planners. Copies of programs, bulletins, and handouts from events. Things from desk drawers. Scrapbooks of cards. It was all neatly stacked and neatly labeled, but...at end of several days of sorting and tossing, we still didn't have a clear idea of why it all got saved. What we did realize was that what we have taken away from Russ's life are the memories and stories of a father and grandfather. Those can be stored in your heart and that never seems to run out of room!

Living overseas, we have very little compared to most of our friends. Our home doesn't have great storage, plus the shopping opportunities (think Target) are limited. I buy approximately 300 pounds of stuff per year--I know this because I haul it all back from the States every summer. That's it--a massive Target run and clothes for the year. Twice a year I round up whatever we aren't using and whatever doesn't fit and off it goes to the charity store. Even then, I can't believe how things do pile up (especially in places where our housekeeper tucks things when she doesn't know where to put them and we find the stashes). Sometimes I wonder what we'll have to pass down to the kids...our have a storage locker here in the States (our goal is to get rid of everything in it next summer except photos, the Thomas set, and a couple other items from the kids' childhood) but then I realize that most of whatever we have is enough. A small box of trinkets from each kid's childhood. Enough.

Too much stuff is too much stuff--literally and figuratively. Look at your house and garage. What do you have that you REALLY need? How much do you keep because you might need it someday or it was a good deal or....fill in the blank. Wouldn't life be lighter, feel cleaner, if you had less of what is all around your house?

We'll return to China with another 500 pounds of stuff, and I suppose there's some of it that we really don't need, but I did say NO to a LOT of stuff the kids said they really NEEDED. Being blessed with the ability to have so much doesn't mean we really need to have...so much!

Russ Hillman--A Life Well Lived.

2011-05-16T06:24:00.005+08:00

Mark's father passed away last week. He had been recently diagnosed with cancer and had just started chemotherapy. His death was quite sudden. We have been incredibly blessed with opportunity to be with our family in the States this weekend as we say goodbye to a wonderful father, husband, and servant of God. More later, but his obituary is here:

New Tacoma Cemeteries & Funeral Home: Obituaries

What Can You Say About Your Pets

2011-05-12T22:11:00.000+08:00

There was Smoky, Super, Juneau, Buck, and Sue. And Caddie and Gretel. And Peter. We grew up in the woods and by a busy highway. We learned to love our dogs and cats hard, but lightly--trucks, owls, coyotes lurked just at the edges of life. I remember sobbing over breakfast at the loss of a dog and asking for a puppy by lunch. Was my mother as horrified as I was when my children did the same thing?

Peter was different. Perpetually friendly, eternally cheerful, he surfed his way across our laps every night. If we were gone during TV time in the evenings he let us know we had let him down. He was a dog that really could smile. Everyone who met him commented on how friendly, how sunny, how happy he was. And so were we. Pets bring something indefinable into our lives--the hole they leave when they're gone is unexpectedly enormous.

Peter's been gone for 14 days now. We've resigned ourselves to understanding that he's not coming home. Where he is...if he's safe...I guess we aren't going to know. I pray that someone found a wonderful sweet lonely dog who had lost his way and his collar and brought him in. I pray that he has a cushion and clean water and good food and a new family that loves the stuffing out of him, the way we do. I pray that the next best family to us found the best little dog we'll ever have. But this one...I think Peter might be impossible to get over.

Anything Goes

2011-04-18T16:09:00.007+08:00

In olden days a glimpse of stocking, Was looked on as something shocking,

But now, God knows,

Anything Goes.

You're the Nile, You're the Tower of Pisa,

You're the smile on the Mona Lisa;

I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,

But if baby, I'm the bottom, You're the top!

Blow, Gabriel blow, Go on an' blow, Gabriel blow,

I want to join your happy band,

And play all day in the promised land

So blow, Gabriel blow.

Come on you scamps, get up you sinners,

You're all too full of expensive dinners,

Stand up on your lazy feet and sing!

Cameron did a great job--and with our new improved mikes, we could hear him sing on the group numbers and he can sing! The Chinese converts were especially hilarious and would have probably been PC-ed up back home. Cameron's friend (the one one the right) had to work on his fake Chinese accent. HA.

And to all of you who wondered how he learned to be such a convincing drunk...it's called acting. So THERE. I love American musicals and this is one I haven't seen (or thought about) for forever! It was all good.

I've Taken a Big Swig of THIS..

2011-03-28T20:41:00.006+08:00

I am in a serious funk, so I've been ignoring the blog. I've lost the focus, and I'm feeling very uninteresting at this point in my life. I'm completely NOT enamored with China and I feel ordinary--ordinary in a way that makes it hard for me to think about what to write about. I feel like I've been nipping from the bottle.

I am seriously over China. I'm hiking here...

Instead of hiking here...

Seriously, 1 billion people is a LOT of people. And they are every. single. place. you go. I love a certain hustle and bustle...Christmas shopping. Disneyland. But I feel like you can just never get away from anything here. People who throw trash, who poop and pee and spit all over. ICK. There's just too many people.

Instead of looking at this...

Or this... I get to look at this...

I have moments where I wonder how I'll react when one of my kids announces they have some strange lung disease from breathing the putrid air.

I don't have a home. Or family nearby. My friend in Bangladesh had a tough parenting week and asked me "are we doing the right thing?" and I answered with a resounding "YES". But the life we've chosen means we are cognizant of what we've left behind. We know we made a choice, which means we may have chosen wrong. If we had stayed at home having our parenting fails on familiar turf, we wouldn't be aware of what that "other" really is. It's not something we imagine--it's a real life with real people. And we miss that.

I'm so lucky to be a teacher. I spend my day with fantastic kids at an outstanding school supported by incredible colleagues. I am blessed to be able to do something I love to do, instead of something I have to do. But right now I just don't want to be a working person.

And I worry. I worry far too much. It passes the time, but accomplishes nothing. It eats away at me, and not one single thing is better because I've worried about it. Here's a sampling of the playlist...

*I'm not satisfied with my church and if I'm just lazy because I won't drive into the city to see if there's a better one.

*How I'm going to pay for the college I know Cameron's going to choose. Actually, it won't matter what he chooses--in-state tuition doesn't exist for us anymore.

*Where we're going to live this summer. And next summer. And the summer after that.

*Why I lack discipline. I fall asleep while praying all the time. I canNOT exercise. I cram my Bible study in Monday and Tuesday nights instead of working a bit each night. I excel at watching American Idol and Glee, though. And Red Vines.

*What will happen with Noah--are we doing too much? Should we be letting him fail more? Are we doing it wrong with the best of intentions?

*What in the world are we gong to do after Beijing? Because I canNOT be staying here much longer.

And now it's time to stop. Because I'm ungrateful and whiny. And I can go on to list all the amazing things in my life right now because there are so very many and I suppose if I had any discipline or the right sort of outlook, I'd be listing those instead of these. But it's where I'm at this week or month. I'll do a list of all the great things about my life soon. Probably soon. Soonish.

What We've Been Up To...

2011-03-27T20:23:00.005+08:00

I think this might have been the longest I've neglected the blog. There are so many reasons why...that will come later. But the truth is, we are a busy family, like so many others. A quick run-down...

Three band/orchestra concerts. None of my kids sit in a place where I can get a picture of them actually playing, though...All the concerts take place in the same week, all of them involve kids from 6th grade through 12th grade (and, for the orchestra, groups that start in 3rd grade) so it's a tiring week. Watching the beginners play, and ending with the high school groups really shows how much progress kids make each year!

The truth is...we are not a singing family. Oh, we sing around the house...we just don't sing well. Ava especially seems to like singing and has really loved being in choir. Funny the worst singers (me) are the ones that sing all the time--the better singer (Ava) rarely sings in front of anyone on her own!

One act plays. The one-act festival is fantastic. Students write their own plays or direct already published works. Students are responsible for recruiting, auditioning, and directing the play. Some of them include original music (score and lyrics) as well. Cameron was in three plays this year and is considering directing one next year.

Noah always surprises us. On a whim (actually I think it was because of the coach, who is completely cool) he decided to play volleyball. He did a great job learning a new sport and had a great time. He's moved on to contact rugby, one of just a few 6th graders on the team--again, fantastic coaches--seriously, they are worth their weight in gold in terms of building a kid's confidence and inspiring a sense of fun!

What little girl doesn't go through a love affair with horses? It must be an especially painful thorn in Ava's side that I actually did own my own horses and I could step out my back door any day of the week and just ride (and I did!). Ava has read every book, watched every movie, collected every statue--really, the child needed the chance to ride. Am I jealous? You bet--I always wanted to take lessons and ride in the Olympics. Maybe it's Ava's chance...

Spring Break

2011-02-13T21:45:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling guilty because I found decent tickets to Vietnam and decided we should go there for spring break in March. Guilty because it would be a vacation we really can't afford and if I'm going to spend the money for even decent tickets we should stay more than 3-4 days to get our money's worth. Guilty because I think we may live in China for a number of years and never get out of the Jing. Then I found great tickets to the following places:

Lijiang. It's 800 years old, and UNESCO site, I believe. So cute, a minority village, albeit touristy, so I'll lots of things to look at and lug back to the Jing with me. It looks adorable, and the weather would be warm-ish.

Tibet. It's far away and the best time to visit is probably not when the average temperatures are around 30 degrees. We'll have to up the quality of the hotel so we have decent heat. We'll have to fly straight into Lhasa...and may have some issues with altitude sickness since we'll be at 15,000 feet without the adjustment we'd get on the train. On the upside, well, it's TIBET. Hello.

Guilin...home of those iconic karst mountains. A trip down the river, then over to a nearby area to a place called the Dragon's Backbone, rice terraces so steep and sharp and green that fall away forever below your feet. Sigh. Not sure about the shopping, though.

What do you think?

Final Scenes from Cambodia

2011-02-06T20:25:00.006+08:00

A floating village on the Tonle Sap (or maybe Mekong) River in Phnom Penh.

The Royal Palace--obviously Cambodian, but with lots of French-inspired touches as well.

It can be difficult to eat where most of the restaurants have tables right out on the street--so many children and disabled people begging. This little girl waited very quietly and patiently...probably because she was watching a Disney movie on the TV inside the bar.

Phnom Penh, near our hotel and the central market.

A coffin shop next to a favorite Thai restaurant in Phnom Penh.

Pedicab driver taking a snooze in Phnom Penh.

Every Buddhist boy is expected to serve a stint as a monk at some point in their lives. Monks are not allowed to work, so anything they need comes from donations. People give food and money as a way to ensure good karma or blessings, so early mornings all the monks go up and down streets, giving blessings and accepting gifts.

Typical fruit stand in the Siem Reap market area...bananas, lychees, mangos, guavas, dragonfruit, mandarins, mangosteens...

The food court at the night market in Phnom Penh. Grab something from a stall, and pull up a mat.

A moment with Noah--not in motion.

Phnom Penh and the Killing Fields

2011-02-06T17:49:00.010+08:00

I guess there should be disclaimer for this post, in case some of the pictures might be unsettling.

Siem Reap is definitely geared to the tourist market. It's colorful, the markets are great, and it's compact. Phnom Penh is much bigger and less attractive on the surface. It reminded in some ways of Dar es Salaam. At one point it was the crown jewel in the French Indochina colonies, but time and history have worn it down. The art deco dome of the central market gives testimony to its former beauty.

We spent 3 days here (really, 1 or 2 days too many-there's not that much to do) because of the Killing Fields. Between 1975 and 1979 Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge killed some 2 million Cambodians. Virtually overnight (really, it was 2-3 days) everyone was rounded up and sent out to work in forced labor farms and camps. Families were separated, and any person that was educated or may have been thought to be sympathetic to the former government was killed. As time went on, people were starved and the killings continued. The bodies were buried in mass graves throughout Cambodia, with the largest site located just outside of Phnom Penh. Approximately 20,000 men, women, and children were killed and approximately 9,000 bodies have been recovered at this site called Cheoung Ek. I imagined enormous pits, but the graves were actually much smaller. The whole site is so peaceful--it was the site of a Chinese cemetary before the Khmer Rouge--that it belies the horrible events that took place there. There was a grave for women and children, and a tree where children were executed. The Khmer Rouge felt that any descendant of an educated or anti-KR supporter would someday rise up, so...

Maybe because it is so much more recent than the Holocaust, but I found this site to be profoundly sad and I think it affected me more than the Holocaust Museum we visited in Washington, DC this summer. We had a guide that asked us to watch where we walked because as the ground continues to settle, bits of bones and clothing come to the surface. When I looked around, what I had thought was trash was actually bits of clothing. Some of the signs had bones or skulls stacked up, discoveries that had not yet made it into a more permanent setting. We did actually see teeth and bits of bone on the ground, a reminder that the 1970s was not that long ago. It is surreal to look around and realized that every single person you see, no matter what their age, has lost so many family members so recently. Our guide when we were in Siem Reap was 14 in 1975. His parents were immediately taken and killed, and he lost 5 of his 10 siblings. He did a great job of talking to the kids about what it was like to live through the US bombings and then the genocide. The sad part was looking around and realizing that every person would have a similar story to tell of fear and loss and pain. Despite that, there really is no sense of bitterness or anger. People seemed more interested in living life today and looking forward to a brighter future.

It's hard to say that I enjoyed the day, but I really appreciated learning about this aspect of Cambodian history and seeing the remants first hand. I'm glad we brought the kids, too. There were enough signs to provoke questions, some of them difficult, but I didn't feel it was too graphic for them. Noah had been to the Holocaust museum and the Rwandan genocide trials were held in Arusha while we were living there. I do think it's important that our kids have an understanding of some of the things that have happened in the world...to understand and appreciate something, you have to know its history. The large stupa, the first thing you see when you enter the site, is quite tall. The bottom levels were filled with clothing that had been recovered from the graves. The next levels were skulls, organized by male or female, and then by ages. There were also levels of longer bones. Groups had left strings of paper cranes in bunches around the stupa. It was painful to realize that the Cambodians who were visiting may have been wondering if family members were among those remains. Our guide said that many Cambodians have not been able to bring themselves to visit these sites yet. At every turn the scale of the genocide is overwhelming. Phnom Penh had approximately 2 million people when the Khmer Rouge entered the town in April, 1975 and within 3 days they had completely emptied the city. EVERYONE had left. People were told the US was going to bomb the city and people needed to evacuate for 3-4 days before returning. Phnom Penh remained essentially a ghost town for the next 4 years.

The kids and I went back for a swim, but Cameron and Mark went on to a place back in town called Tuol Sleng. During this time, a high school was converted into prison and torture center where approximately 17,000 people were imprisoned, tortured, and killed. The numbers are overwhelming, and this site is not for children. Like the Nazis, the Khmer Rouge were fanatical about documentation, many (most?) of the victims were photographed before, during, and after their horrific imprisonment. It's another site that looks so ordinary from the outside, just an old, rather battered high school, and then inside arel photos of the victims, equipment, and even stains and marks on the walls and floors.

It was very meaningful to see the Killing Fields at the end of the trip, after seeing the amazing temples at Angkor Wat. Like Mao during the Cultural Revolution, the Khmer Rouge recognized that some aspects of the past were important, sacred even, and were left alone or protected. As a result, we were able to see a fantastic display of history and culture that spans 1,000 years. It's always humbling, coming from a country where anything over 100 years or so is considered old, a country that has never experienced anything like what happens all too often in countries around the world. Everyone told us that Cambodia would be breathtakingly beautiful and they were right. We loved it and were reminded again how blessed we are to be able to experience places like this.

Because the Internet Does Not Cooperate...

2011-02-04T16:23:00.007+08:00

You get more pictures of Chinese New Year, albeit in a bit more random manner...

Thousands of people in the Great Hall and this is the only food option. The Chinese can make some really good food, but desserts...eh. We usually prefer to stick to fresh fruit when we eat out and have a dessert option. Nicely, it's often just brought as part of the service.

One of the rooms in the Great Hall. Someone told me this is where they receive important guests. The chandeliers are ENORMOUS. The beams are all painted like the beams in the Forbidden City and other historic buildings, but with gold and pale aqua and light blue, rather than the bold reds, greens, and blues.

Can you see she doesn't have her hands on the ground? Crazy.

And finally, the Great Hall of the People at night.

新年快乐--Xīn Nián Kuài Lè!

2011-02-04T14:54:00.034+08:00

Happy New Year! You never know what to expect--beside lots of crazy noise and fireworks when you celebrate a major holiday in a foreign country. Chinese New Year is a big family holiday, with millions of people returning to their homes to visit extended family. It can be hard on them--many (most?) take the train, but the system here doesn't allow you to book your return ticket more than 2 or 3 days out. So people buy a one-way ticket to their home town and then there's a mad rush for the return tickets once they get there. People have had their ayis and drivers get stuck for more than a week longer than expected because they were not able to get a seat. Our ayi has gone home for the first time in 3 years so she'll be gone next week as well--we'll really have to kick it old-school here (meaning, the way y'all do in the States) by doing our own laundry, cleaning, and cooking our own meals. The horror! haha

A couple night ago we ended up with tickets to the Great Hall of the People, at Tiananmen Square for a family celebration. It's very interesting to be able to see some of the buildings, and this is a biggie, so off we went. The view of the Forbidden City was gorgeous at night.

Tiananmen Square had been turned into a parking lot...thank goodness we had a driver!

The thing about going anywhere is that you never know what to expect...I guess that means you can never be disappointed. Or maybe you'd always be disappointed. But chances are, you'll always be amused. Factor into the equation the fact that you can't understand anything anyone is saying...

A mural depicting the unification of all ages and ethnicities under Mao's leadership.

The Great Hall of the People is HUGE. REALLY HUGE. Each room is mind-boggling big. There were bouncy castles, always a hit in any language. One room had amazing contortionists and acrobats. They are always worth watching--and so amazingly strong. We never get tired of watching them. The little guy on the top is about 11 years old. Sorry in advance for the crick in your neck -- I don't know how to rotate video.

It's always a good idea to bring your own food or eat before you go. Thousands of people in a building and there are small plastic boxes of bad sweet cakes and warm soda. We stopped at McDonald's on the way home.

Other acts included a massive stage with Chinese singers and puppet shows. I thought the puppets might be shadow puppets, but they were fuzzy rabbits and a fox on a stage that resembled something from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. There was also an arcade, where you could play carnival games. The lines were long, and there weren't any tickets or prizes, so the kids watched for awhile but didn't want to wait to play.

I don't think the pictures really convey just how BIG everything is in each room. It's very beautiful, but a bit overwhelming. The funny part was that at 9:15, the kids were just ready to get on a bouncy castle when they were stopped and someone pulled the plug. No warning, nothing. Then, as if a bell went off, everyone started moving toward the exits. The gig was over at 9:30 and by 9:30 the thousands of people had mostly left. All the fanfare and effort for 90 minutes!

For New Year's Eve we were invited to a farm by a friend of Mark's. He's Chinese but has lived in the US for a number of years and has a passion for helping disabled young adults. There really are no services or programs to help disabled people learn a trade and become more independent. Brian has bought a farm and has built dorms so that the students can live together and learn functional daily living skills and have oppotunities to learn a trade. ISB has a few students who have worked in our kitchen and doing janitorial work. It's a great and very needed program. We had a traditional dinner that included jiao zi (dumplings that are shaped like old coins). Normally I'm all over the jiao zi but these were filled with lamb, so I wasn't as motivated to eat a dozen or so. We also sampled bai jiu, the traditional grain alcohol. Chinese are big drinkers--this stuff might also be useful for stripping paint or maybe getting oil spots off the garage floor. And it was considered good stuff! The liquid burned all the way down, and then the fumes rose up, and up, and up. Yikes!

Another tradition is giving hong bao, red envelopes filled with money. For children, especially, the hong bao is a big deal. Some of my students will clear close to $1,000 from relatives, especially if they don't celebrate Christmas. Giving certain denominations is key--the number 8 is very lucky so 80 RMB, or 800 RMB would be good. Nothing with the number 4, since that is bad luck. The kids were very surprised to receive a hong bao from Brian mother, whom we had just met. Each one received 100 RMB, which is about $15. The number 100 represents 100 years of long life and good fortune. I'm glad we brought a bottle of good red wine and champagne with us!

We didn't stay long enough to see fireworks there, but managed to catch a decent show from our bedroom window. The fireworks on the right are from our parking lot, just a few houses down. Yes, the guards had fire extinguishers and a water truck. NO, they really are not that safe!

My Home Decor Inspiration

2011-02-03T16:51:00.004+08:00

Remember that fun painting I showed you in the previous post? Here's what the artist has been up to at our school this fall:

These walls are HUGE. And we had the most unwelcoming dull entrance--until now. These peasant paintings are very popular and oh-so-colorful. I love them! This artist's quality is really good. I felt much better about the price I paid for the one I bought when I brought it in to be framed and saw some of the one the shop had for sale--they were really clearly not as good.

These water scenes are much more representative of more southern China, which makes sense since the artist is from Shanghai. There is a city, Suzhou, near Shanghai that has been called the Venice of China--lots of canals and boats.

This one, too, is a bit more southern--dragon boats racing is HUGE in Hong Kong--Dragon Boat Day is a national holiday (usually in June, so we miss it). But the rest of the scene is full of children playing, which is wonderful. The pink is really pink but the overall effect is fantastic.

There's another huge wall on another hall that also got the treatment...and I broke down and bought two more small pictures last week--one of traditional Chinese baby shoes and another of a baby swaddled in a crib. It's hard to feel blue when you look at all this color!

We Interrupt Cambodia to Bring you Christmas Presents.

2011-01-27T21:28:00.005+08:00

Oh, hey, don't worry. I'll be back next week (it's Chinese New Year, so I've a WHOLE WEEK to finish up with a few more terrific Cambodia pictures--but Christmas actually came and went and our presents finally arrived!

I'm not really crazy about Chinese art and for quite awhile nothing was really catching my eye--I seriously thought we'd be living here for a few years, and I'd have really not much to show for it. But slowly, some things start to grow on you, and you start to find things here and there that catch your eye. In the end, I think it's been good, because we haven't bought a lot until this year and I really love the things we do have.

As part of having a new head of school and the 30th anniversary at ISB, a muralist was hired to paint the entrance of the school and one of the hallways. These peasant paintings are really popular and I guess this particular artist is quite famous. I love this picture of Chinese New Year. We have such terrible light in our house that even during the daytime I often need to use a flash so the picture looks much brighter than it is.

One of the great things about here is that you can have furniture made from pictures and it's not that expensive. This cabinet I adore. It just came today. I found a picture and explained what I wanted and 3 weeks later--voila! The cool thing is that the wood is at least 120 years old. As buildings get torn down, everything gets recycled, so even a new piece has an aged "lived-in" look. I've been wanting something like this for a long time.

From my trip to the tile factory, I picked up this dragon head. I need to mount a wooden support before I can hang it on a wall, so for right now it's glaring down at us from above the TV. The factory was supposed to be torn down in November, but I just saw it was standing when I went to get gas this morning. I have an urge to run over and snap up another one. Matching sets and all. The stone disc behind is another something I really like. They come in all sizes and colors, the most common being jade green, ivory, and a bronze. You can use them as servers, trivets, or just display. The red pots are from a furniture store where we got our TV cabinet and I know I paid too much for them, but I love the red. So much here is porcelain and either blue and white or ornately painted. Finding the more rustic pottery that I like isn't easy. I actually might have bought 5 of them. No, I really did buy 5 of them.

This I love. It's a shadow puppet that I got in Cambodia. We took a tuk-tuk to an out-of-the-way temple and then wandered around looking for this little shop with no signage. The tiny room and the little lady sold these amazing shadow puppets, all hand made out of leather. Can you all those cutouts? It's crazy! China also has shadow puppets, but they are much more delicate. I'll be picking some of those up (they are a lot more expensive) but again the more rustic look suited me. I was warned they'd be pretty expensive...and boy, this elepant was a whopping $25. Seriously. For once "pretty expensive" turned out to be in my budget!

Merry Christmas--again!

One Last Look...

2011-01-23T21:59:00.005+08:00

Bang Melea

2011-01-23T20:28:00.009+08:00

Bang Melea was a drive out of town...many times I wished we didn't have a van--it made it hard to stop suddenly to see something quickly--but on this day I was not complaining. We took a back (dirt) road that rivaled Tanzania in parts--great to see farms and the stilted houses, the families working the rice fields, the oxen and carts that haven't changed in hundreds of years.

The temple has collapsed and I dearly hope it doesn't get rebuilt. If you have children that resemble mountain goats, no problem, because it requires climbing over enormous blocks of stone and wedging yourself through tiny passages. If you are less nimble, you’d have to go around the outside. If you've seen the tiger movie Two Brothers you would recognize the temple from the opening scenes before the cubs are captured. If you haven't seen it, you should, it's beautiful movie. They built a very nice walkway through part of the site that made part of the adventure a little easier.

The trees are doing their best to reclaim the land for their own.

With all the rubble, it's wasy to forget how precise the construction was. Even here, the perfect angles, the straight lines, the amazing assembly was. No morter.

Nothing like a mediocre beer, with a straw. At least it was icy cold. You can't expect Diet Coke to have infiltrated the pastoral serenity of Cambodia, I guess.

It's hard to find people to set a good example for your children nowadays. Everyone took a turn on the Tarzan vines. I worried we'd be ruining someone else's wonderful picture if we broke it.

More Temples

2011-01-23T17:13:00.009+08:00

Ta Phrom was one of our favorite temples. You might recognize the site where Lara Croft: Tomb Raider was filmed, and if you do, then I'm sorry because that was one. bad. movie. Seriously. Our guide told us that the government solicits information from official guides regularly as to how people feel about the temples, the restoration, etc. I think that the restored temples are beautiful, but I loved the ones that show the ravages of time. The whole Indiana Jones thing, you know? It’s really eerily beautiful. Our guide said that a lot people said the same thing—that some temples should be restored, but others should have the decay preserved, which is a funny idea when you think about it.

I love how the tree roots ooze down over the buildings like melted wax. Some of them looked like legs of an ancient dinosaur, or the trunk from a prehistoric elephant.

In one of the main temple buildings, looking up. It's so tall! What's more amazing, though, are the walls. Looking closer, each one of the holes was filled with a precious jewel...rubies, emeralds, diamonds, pearls...it must have been amazing.

I love the contrasts and textures. Photography was challenging....by 9:00 the sun was so bright that it washed out all the pics. It was hard to capture the right balance of light and shadow. Most of our shots did end up too bright, I think--but as most of these were done by Cameron, I think he did a really nice job.

What is it with the Mormons?

2011-01-23T15:23:00.008+08:00

I found a funny article called "Why I Can't Stop Reading Mormon Housewife Blogs." I have a friend, Andalucy, whose blog I love to read, who is Mormon. And her sister, who often posts wickedly funny things on Facebook, I also count as one of the very few friends I've never met in person, but I can't wait to! Growing up my friend Lisa and I would hanker our Mormon friends for invitations to dances. People had to dress nicely at those dances. The lights had to be on. Chaperones circulated, making sure there was no hanky-panky (or close dancing) going on. And the dancing--not hanging on to each other, but a clean-cut nice-looking boy would take your hand and hold you around the waist (his name was Mark and we ate too many Frosties at Wendy's so we could gaze at his bastketball picture on the sports wall and yes, Dr. Friess, I was I who stole his picture from the "after" section of your orthodontist's photo album). Going to those dances was like taking a step back in time. It felt simple, safe, and refreshing.

But here's the thing--the girl we would finagle invitations out of was one of 13 children. Her father was the principal at our elementary school. Our neighbors also sported a family of 13 kids (including 2 sets of twins). He was an artist. I'm pretty sure with that many kids, niehter of those moms had time for flower-arranging, reupholstering furniture, and finding the perfect grograin ribbon to edge those new throw pillows. Honestly, I would think that maybe FEEDING and CLOTHING that many people might consume someone's days. Andalucy and her sister both sound like delicious cooks, and I'm sure keep lovely houses, but...seriously? The whole "shining-happy-people" all around seems to be really taken to an extreme.

I wonder if all those people who love to lurk on Mormon blogs, yearning for an escape from their own lives, stop and consider why Mormons have their image? I think it's because if you are Mormon, you've committed your life to something larger and more everlasting than just yourself and your own needs. I know several quite conservative Christians (whose politics make my toes curl) who exude a sense of joy and peace, even when things are tough. These families have recognized that life isn't really all about them. There's something more, something bigger, something much better in and around them. There's a purpose, a direction, and an intentional reason for their decisions. The things their children "can't" do--not a big deal, because they all know why they are living their lives and what they are doing instead of all those things society tells us to do and have is better. My Mormon friends are well-read. By tuning out so many aspects of modern culture, their children are independent, creative, and articulate. They know so much about history, and music, and literature. By turning away from caffeine and alcohol, they are healthier.

It's not about being Mormon, I suspect, as much as it is being disciplined and intentional--and a life that is disciplined and intentional can't be simply attributed to just a religion. It is a daily commitment to a belief and a way of life that is NOT always shiny and pretty and perfect. It is a way of life, though, that makes sense and give structure and purpose to what you do. I suspect those who are committed to other faiths would understand that. It's not about any of those things those women say they read those blogs for. At the end of the article the author says, "But the basic messages expressed in these blogs -- family is wonderful, life is meant to be enjoyed, celebrate the small things -- are still lovely." That's not Mormon, folks. That's entirely possible and attainable. For all of us.

Chinese Mothers--and Then Us.

2011-01-18T14:40:00.005+08:00

Amy Chua's article in the Wall Street Journal entitled "Why Chinese Mothers are Superior" has garnered a LOT of attention, most of it negative. The article was, I imagine, part of the build-up to her book which was released this week. I think she really missed the mark with her tone--what she may have imagined as "tongue-n-cheek" simply came off to me as bitchy and cruel. Chua seems not to just delight in winning the battles against her daughters, but to enjoy the battles themselves. I also don't believe her assertion that once someone perfects something, they will enjoy it. I suspect there are hundreds of people who were browbeaten into music lessons or sports activities by their parents who would say that the negativity surrounding those experiences was enough to put them off of that activity forever. There would also be those who had achieved that high level, yet find no joy or pleasure in their achievement.

Some of the strongest voices came from Chinese who said that Chua did not represent any Chinese mother they had ever known. Those who had been raised across cultures (Chinese-American or Canadian) did, however, acknowledge that their parents did push them differently than their non-Chinese peers.

And therein, is an important point. As Americans, we need to be careful to crow about the superiority of our educational system. While there are many things that we do very well, we certainly have a whole lot of shortcomings, many of which are becoming more and more obvious as the years go by. Education is also a product of culture--we value certain attributes, so our systems and parenting reinforce that. We want our children to be independent, individuals, unique. We want them to feel good about themselves, to be well-rounded, to have a lot of experiences. Happiness and a sense of satisfaction are important. We have thousands of parenting books the tell us how important all these things are, and yet often make us feel like we aren't living up to some standard.

To look at the Chinese--or any other culture--and impose those values on another group, is quite ethnocentric. In Tanzania, for example, independence is not valued and there's trouble in a home or a village if someone reaches for their own personal achievement and doesn't consider how they need to help their family. The Chinese "way" is more about conformity. Hard work is valued more than free time. Tutors are hired to make sure kids do things very well, rather than letting them dabble and find things they like. I've heard it said that the Chinese feel they have to be competative--after all, there are so many other Chinese to compete with for those university spots and jobs. "Face" is also very important, which may lead to families competing to look as successful as someone else (we don't call it that in the US--we call it "keeping up with the Joneses). I have students who are excelling at music or drawing or swimming and they soundly dislike those activities, but they are the ones their parents have chosen. Parent-pleasing is strong here--most of us really don't want our kids to do something just to make us happy. In return, parents don't expect their children to do many chores, or work at jobs, or have many responsibilities other than school work--we expect our kids to do all of those things.

I thought Chua's tone was, for lack of a better word, bitchy--at the same time, I thought that many comments were unfair for expecting a Chinese mother to raise her children differently than her culture dictated. The fact that she is living in America and is a Yale professor would make her decisions more difficult because her children would be surrounded by a very different parenting style, but would not mean that her values and beliefs would fit in with a traditional or mainstream American approach to childrearing. So many of my very Western acting and sounding Chinese students go home every night to very traditional homes--I have a 3rd grader who has only eaten peanut butter once in his life--so people live their lives on different levels in public and in private.

To be fair to Ms. Chua, I read her rebuttal here in which she talks about her own parents, her childhood, and that this book was born out of an awareness of her development as a mother. I thought those comments put her in a much kinder light, and I was able to better understand her feelings. I would love to hear what her daughters have to say about their family--would they acknowledge the difficulties, explain what they hated, and still say they loved their mother and had great times with her and felt close to her? I hope they do--it would be a good ending for an uncomfortable story.

For Your Consideration

2011-01-16T20:16:00.002+08:00

"There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to Man. It is a dimension as vast as space, and as timeless as infinity. It is the middleground between light and shadow, between science and superstition...This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call...the Twilight Zone."

This carving is was on one of the 11th century temples we visited. A stegosauraus, perhaps? I can't imagine any modern animal that matches this description. Noah claimed it proves the existence of time travel and immediately started looking for the Tardis. Cameron tucked it neatly in with crop circles and those strange lines in South America and began humming "Close Encounters." What do you think?

More in and around Angkor

2011-01-16T17:36:00.007+08:00

I had to remember to take pictures of our family. Sometimes I get caught up in those things that I know I may never see again and overlook the family I see every day. Then there's the fact that keeping all 5 of us in the same place at the same time...well, it's a challenge. And there's those phases that kids go through (and hopefully don't get stuck in) where it's not so much smiling as it is grimacing and mugging). Add a dash of the Chinese habit of flashing the peace sign in every shot...well, I think I did a pretty good job this time!

The girls took off one morning for a tour through the rice fields and villages to a small crumbling temple...

The men took a slightly faster trip through some other fields to another small crumbling temple.

Cameron and Noah bring a stylish Chinese touch to the Cambodian ATV scene.

Sock monkey was our constant companion...and a constant source of amusement to others.

See what I mean? In motion...

Flashing the ubiquitous peace sign... but look at the exquisite detailing on the wall behind us!

Angkor Wat

2011-01-15T12:13:00.011+08:00

Angkor Wat is magnificent. Most of it was built in the 10th-11th centuries, making it older than many (most?) of the major architectural achievements we are more familiar with in Europe. China, with it's long history, has so many old temples and buildings; but because so many of them were made of wood, they've been destroyed and rebuilt over time, so many of the things that we've seen are new (and faithful) reproductions. The temples (Angkor Wat is only one--we saw many) rise from what was jungle and loom over the landscape with a mysterious and exotic air. Despite the number of people, the sites have an air of serenity. The complex itself is massive. Angkor Wat and Angkor Thom have a loop of about 20 km so walking around is really not an option. People can rent bicycles, or tuk-tuks...we had rented a car and driver, which was very useful when we headed out of town, but I would have liked to have used something closer to the ground a lot of the time. The scale of everything was difficult to comprehend. Like Egypt, the kings built these temples and monuments to the gods (so they would be pleased with them)--and like Egypt, the materials come from some distance. The engineering and artistry caught us by surprise over and over.

Bayon originally had 219 giant faces carved or built into the temple. At first it was hard to see them, but they slowly appear like an optical puzzle.

One of the amazing things about the temples, especially Angkor Wat, is the lines. After 900 years, the lines and angles remain completely straight and perfect. The ground hasn't settled, the stones haven't warped, which gives some beautiful scenes...

Most of the temples are being reconstructed, using the actual stones where they can be identified and used, or other stones from that period, or new stones if nothing else can be used. I didn't expect to capture the big green tarp in my iconic photo...

Thanks to Cameron, who bothered to actually master our new camera and has a nice eye.

Bantey Srei is an unusual temple. Unlike the other gray temples, it was carved from pink sandstone. It was very small, and the carving so intricate that it's believed to have been done by woman. Some the detailing appears almost three-dimensional.

The temples were assembled and then carved. The height and angles (and the heat) must have made the job so very difficult!

Christmas in the Jing

2011-01-15T10:45:00.004+08:00

It was a great Christmas Day. We had a the week off before Christmas and with everyone gone, it was very quiet--allowing us all the freedom in the world to panic because we lost Ava's passport and had a frantic few days demolishing our offices at work and the house before spending a day at the embassy getting a new one and then getting a Chinese visa so Ava could get back into the country. That's a Christmas tradition I'm not going to adopt! Then we had a great dinner for 15 or so friends that were getting a later start on their traveling as well--love the chef and crew that shops, preps, cooks, serves, and cleans up!

Christmas Eve at a Catholic service--the space heaters were not turned on until the service started and the building (which is also our church) is unheated. I guess the cold kept us alert so we could hear the message. Or something.

Christmas Day--was wonderful! Every year I get a pang because we aren't with family. I wish we could be together. But then, we've never had a big all-family Christmas ever--even when Mark and I were children--and our Christmas Days have a peace and rhythm that I absolutely love. Everyone was so excited for their gifts--to give and receive! Everyone got something they wanted. Big guns, sock monkeys, helmets, camping stoves...we are also having a cabinet made for our house that will be ready by the end of January. We don't give many presents at Christmas--our big present is the holiday vacation and we usually give a bit of pocket money for each one to spend on the trip. This year I was determined to not put any presents under the tree until the kids were in bed on Christmas Eve, but I was overruled loudly on that point.

A new tradition, I guess, is the teppanyaki restaurant downtown. I posted on it a couple posts ago, and it was just as much fun as last year. Noah would eat there every weekend if he could--but that would be out of our budget. The salmon and sea bass sashimi is like butter. The steak melts in your mouth. The shrimp and scallops--to die for. The kids love watching their food cook and the impressive pyrotechnics that accompany dessert.

When our kids first arrived in Tanzania 4 years ago, they had never eaten chicken on the bone. After an upbringing on Costco chicken breasts, they couldn't believe that they had to eaten chicken with skin on it! When we went to the coast, Noah and Ava ate omelets, french fries, and hot dogs only. In fact, on our first trip to Thailand, Noah and Ava ate only omelet and french fries 3 meals a day for 10 days. That's 30 meals, folks! Now it's about green curry and all sorts of new things including this dish. It's squid. And see how it's on ice? That's because you eat it raw. Which we did. And it was so yummy. A bit chewy, like calamari, but yummy! We ate salmon and sea bass sashimi (Ava cooked hers on the edge of the grill), fried rice and noodles, steak and garlic, shrimp with a butter-mustard sauce, and oysters with a sesame-soy-green onion drizzle. For dessert, bananas coated in coconut, topped with ice cream and set ablaze. Yowza!

Another Christmas tradition--frantically packing around 10:00 at night because we're leaving the next morning. Almost everyone is on a plane the first Saturday after school lets out (and some that evening) and we get some strange looks when we say that we're sticking around to have Christmas at home. We know a couple families that bring a small tree, some presents, and little decorations on their trips! For us, 10 days is a good amount of time to travel--Noah doesn't care for traveling at all anyway, and we really do enjoy spending time at our house with nothing on our agendas. Unless it was a really big event, we have no need to spend 3 weeks traveling. We also like to come back and have a few days to spend quietly around the house before school starts (lots of families roll in Sunday afternoon or evening). All in all, it's a wonderful break!

Cambodia was spectacular and wonderful! Stay tuned for more!

Shèng Dàn Kuài Lè, 聖誕快樂

2010-12-13T21:59:00.006+08:00

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home! ~Charles Dickens

I love these bears! They're from an artist in Montana--one of those things that are every. single. place. you look in any store. I never get tired of them, though, and I covet the rather cheesy nativity that has the bears as all the characters.

Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas. Calvin Coolidge

I adore our Christmas tree. I never get tired of looking at it, either from across the room, or up close. Ava said our tree didn't look very Christmas-y because of all the ornaments on it, but I love hanging all the memories that come with each trinket. I love hearing them bicker over an unmarked ornament as to whose it is. I love sharing stories about the ornaments, and hearing them share their own memories. Our trips, our passions, our experiences all hang on our tree.

"And the angel said unto them, "Fear not! For, behold, I bring you tidings of great joy, Which shall be to all people. "For unto you is born this day in the city of David A Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you: Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, Lying in a manger." -St. Luke

I'm crazy about nativities. This one is from Thailand--it's made of celadon. The color and the lack of features make this nativity feel very peaceful.

This is the only one I have from Tanzania--I was crazy not to get a wooden one, and I have no idea why I didn't. I love red and and the traditional Maasai plaid brings back so many wonderful memories.

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness. ~Bob Hope

I have to include this...I am in love with this votive--a gift from Cameron for my birthday. It's made of porcelein so fine that the light really does glow through. It looks white but next to the celadon the tiny moth picks up some green that you can't see unless it's lit. The shop had at least 8 different styles...I feel a collection coming on.

What can you say to really big poinsettia plants that cost $2 a piece? Um...something like, "OK, I'll take ten." But's that only because that was all I could carry. I'll be back for more!

This is also becoming a traditional Christmas picture--Cameron dutifully studying for exams this week. He'll do fine.

eeeeee

“The spirit of Christmas is annual; the Spirit of Christ is eternal. The spirit of Christmas is sentimental; the Spirit of Christ is supernatural. The spirit of Christmas is a human product; the Spirit of Christ is a divine person. That makes all the difference in the world."

Christmas is Coming...

2010-12-07T14:27:00.008+08:00

Haha...this is actually true here, you know! Back home, I couldn't imagine going out for Christmas dinner. We have never spent Christmas with extended family, so sometimes in the later afternoon we would head to a movie if there was something suitable, but it was always a "from scratch" breakfast and dinner on Christmas Day. Here, there is no Christmas. Despite the decorations and nods to expat traditions, December 25th is a typical work day. For the last two years (and this one, too) we have left town for a week on the 26th, so having a fridge full of leftovers is not a good idea.

So, after "from scratch" breakfast, presents, and lolling around the house we'll head off for the 2nd annual (if the kids have anything to say about it) Christmas dinner at Tairo Teppanyaki. No English, so once we have a secretary make the reservation, we're on our own. Last year, we lucked out and sat next to someone who spoke English so we got the low-down on how it all works. Far from the orderly Benihana atmosphere, eating here is more like a sport. First of all, socializing in groups is very big in China, so we'll be sharing a grill with a LOT of other people squeezed in together. It's all you can eat so you just start pointing at the picture menu and they'll start bringing it--each item on individual plates. Soon, plates are balanced precariously all around the edge of the grill waiting to be cooked. If someone decides they want theirs quicker, they just start scolding (at least it sounds like scolding) the cook to do theirs first or faster. Forget about getting food for everyone in your own party at the same time--that is NOT how China rolls. It's noisy and a bit raucous and a whole lot of good food and fun!

I guess traditions are whatever you do...wherever you are!

More 1-a-Day Blessings for November

2010-11-13T16:11:00.014+08:00

November 11: I'm so thankful for the opportunities our kids have. Cameron's band concert was fantastic--I rushed there and barely made it after driving Ava to violin lessons and picking Noah up from volleyball. We are blessed to have so many ways to have fun and grow.

November 12: Friday night family movie night. Tonight: X-men Origins. Suitable family fare? I don't know...but you can't beat the feeling of the family squashed together on the couch!

November 13: I'm thankful for a fun and uneventful trip to town, one that resulted in me getting everything I needed without much bargaining!

November 14: My kids are all home, safe and sound. Ava is hosting her book club, Noah is drinking hot cocoa with his friend Ian and playing PSP, and Cam's vegging on the couch--he went to camp over the weekend, but then left via a driver with friends to come back to the winter formal. I'm thankful that so many of the pressures and influences that bombard kids in the States simply don't exist here. Of course, there are other challenges, but I find them much easier to deal with. I love these guys!

Novmber 15: I'm thankful for my home. With the news of the snow in Minnesota and the dropping temperatures here, we are so blessed to have a beautiful warm home. We are blessed to have a room for each child and lovely things to look at. I need to remember this more, especially when I get the "I wants" for more of something...do I really need it?

November 14: I'm thankful for family meals together. When Mark leaves for a trip, his presence is missed most at dinner...the kids just stop even pretending to enjoy dinner after the first night. Even though there are crazy busy schedules in our house, we manage to eat dinner all together at 6:00 6-7 nights a week. ALL TOGETHER. That's fantastic!

November 15: I'm thankful for a slow start to the week. Cameron has no homework and neither does Noah! A blissfully RARE weeknight found us all cozied on the couch watching "Amazing Race." On a SCHOOL night! I think it's gonna be a good week.

November 16: I am thankful for a good night's sleep. In the worst throes of depression, I went weeks sleeping about 3 hours a night. Long before the Prozac kicked in, the sleeping pills made all the difference in the world! This year has been very stressful and I've had so many late nights! For the past two nights I've been able to get to bed before 10:00...life is so much better when you're rested!

November 17: I'm especially thankful for Thanksgiving. To detail what has gone down over trying to find 30 minutes in the next two weeks would be not only TMI but would likely involve snarking about someone, and snarking does NOT belong on the blessings post! Anywhoodle, I'm thankful because Saturday we will sit down to a fantastic meal (the first of at least 2 Thanksgiving dinners this year) with good food and good friends and that's fantastic. Now, if I could only find 30 minutes to see Harry Potter in the next 2 weeks...

November 18: I'm thankful for the professional opportunities that I have at work. At a time when so many people are struggling in the work force, I feel so blessed to have a job that I really love. And, since teaching gets so little respect so often and teachers struggle so hard in so many ways, to have opportunities for professional development are really not to be taken for granted. I'm going to a conference in February in Florida and almost all of it is covered by my PD fund (which I've been saving for a couple years now) and I'm so excited at the learning opportunities that I'll have.

November 19: I'm thankful for a truly wonderful friend who surprised me with a hilarious necklace as an early birthday present and who I'll have a chance to see in February when she visits me in Florida when I'm there!

November 20: I'm thankful for good friends and good food on this early Thanksgiving Day celebration. The house was warm, the food and wine were delicious, and the company was great. What more could you ask for?

November 21: I'm thankful for church, Harry Potter, and Kro's Nest pizza...sometimes the best blessings are found in routine everyday things. And, just for the record, it was fan...wait for it...tastic! We're heading back next Sunday with ISB friends to see it again--you gotta love a school where the PTA buys out an entire showing and then sells the tickets at school!

November 22: What else could be said on this day? After 23 years of marriage--and 29 years together--what could be a greater blessing than the love of a good man and a lifetime to share with him? Happy Annivesary, baby!

November 23: I'm home sick today and watched the very painful movie "Precious." I am so thankful for growing up in a peaceful, safe, predictable, family. I thought about how many thousands of children live lives like the characters in the movie and I'm counting my blessings.

November 24: Still home and very thankful that on the two days I've been feeling awful and Mark had evening commitments both nights--the school of a whole-lotta-homework mysteriously assigned very little for Ava and Noah on those two nights! THANK YOU.

November 25: How many times do you get official days to be thankful for your husband? Today is Mark's birthday--he's the biggest blessing in my life, and he deserves many more days dedicated to what a terrific husband, father, and human being he is. Look at that face--what's not to love? Besides that goatee, of course--I can't wait for Movember to end!

November 26: Ugh. What a week. I'm so thankful it's FRIDAY. Really, that's about all I can come up with.

November 27: I'm thankful for wonderful morning shopping at the Christmas Charity Fair with Ava--she's such a great date! I'm also thankful for older boys that can spend a few hours unsupervised so I can go--although they don't seem to know how to feed themselves yet!

November 28: A wonderful night listening to Ava and her choir sing at the Lido for the tree lighting ceremony. And, getting to know her Finnish friend Alva's father more while we waited for the girls to finish their dinner. And, listening to Ava and Alva madly giggling all the way home while trying desperately NOT to giggle.

November 29: So thankful that our cat, Mao, is still with us. Due to Mark's apparent difficulties in recognizing our cat from some other cat laying on the road, it was a very hard morning full of tears but a wonderful evening as we watched him (Mao, not Mark) sneak turkey off the table. I'd much rather have a mistaken husband than a missing cat!

November 30: A month of recognized blessings! How many special moments slip away because we put our time and energies toward the negative? They say it takes 30 days of doing something before it becomes a habit. I'm going to try to actively recognize the positive for another 30 days until January 1--hopefully, I'll have retrained my tendencies toward the negative in a more positive direction.

November Blessings--1 a Day, Baby, Just like Vitamins

2010-11-03T09:18:00.018+08:00

Being in a bit of a funk lately--Mark will be gone for a month of weekends (VERY uncool) and work is crazy and the weather's turning...it's time to focus on blessings. So here goes. One blessing a day for 30 days. I like this cartoon about blessings on the moment--it's those momentary blessings that put the spark in the day and add up to the joys of life.

I'm just going to add one a day here--if you're willing, let me know if you're doing it on your own blog...or be willing to post your blessing a day in the comments section.

November 1: I'm thankful for the opportunity to live overseas. It's demanding and comes at a cost, but our kids go to one of the top schools in the world, and I have a housekeeper. Oh, and we get to travel and see truly amazing things. Over at Derfwad Manor Mrs. G asked people where they would want to go if they had a pile of money handed to them. Places listed: African safari, the pyramids, the Great Wall, Glacier National Park, Angkor Wat...places I've been blessed to see with my family.

November 2: I'm thankful for Noah's essay in humanities. He read the book Seedfolks by Paul Fleischer and is currently writing another chapter for the book in the same pattern (each chapter was a different person and a different story, with all the stories centered around the development of a community garden). He has worked so hard and with enthusiasm. And, he's really got an excellent chapter--good ideas, good execution.

November 3: I'm thankful to be an American. I didn't vote in this round (boo) but one of the things about living overseas is that you see the best and the worst about America in new ways. I'm constantly reminded about the freedoms we enjoy--and all the assumptions I make as I go through life because of them. Living in countries where those freedoms don't exist (and knowing they wouldn't exist for me if I ever got in trouble) makes me really appreciate our freedoms, and those who stand to protect them.

November 4: I'm blessed to have my husband. He never stops trying at anything. He sets impossibly high goals for himself and achieves most of them. He is always positive and sees God working so clearly in his life. It's intimidating and inspiring! He keeps our family heading in the right direction, something that I couldn't do on my own. I love him so!

November 5: I am grateful for our ayi, Xiao. Lord knows how fortunate I am to not have to do laundry or cleaning or cooking! But it really is more than just having a sparkly house. Most things take longer and are less efficient here--my washer only holds about a 1/3 of my American washer and 1 wash cycle takes 45 minutes! If I had to do those chores, it would be a huge burden over here with working and momming. Xiao comes every day and works hard, always with a smile. I can count on her completely. Because of her, I have peace in those areas. I have the time to spend with my kids on their homework. I have a house that is neat and (mostly) organized so we all feel comfortable. She doesn't just make our lives easier...she really does make our lives better.

November 6: I'm thankful for small moments of peace in a busy life. Today Noah is at camp, Ava and Mark are camping, and Cameron is at jazz practice. I've learned long ago not to feel guilty about how I spend that precious time. Right now I'm just watching TV. And loving it. There is a joy in being able to just do nothing for a little while.

November 7: I'm thankful for my children's friends. They have always had friends that have come from families that shared similar values (if not in our faith, in our common sense and parenting styles). Their friends have brought out wonderful qualities in them--and, I hope, ours have done the same for them. Cameron's friends will leave at the end of this school year, and I think I will miss them as much as he will. They are a really wonderful group of quality kids. Now that we are well into these teen years, friends like his provide amazing peace of mind to parents!

November 8: I'm thankful for Capital One and their incredibly annoying policy of freezing my credit card every. single. time. I use it overseas. Plus they only let Mark call and straighten it out. Today we got a notification that someon in the Czech Republic has twice tried to make a $2600 purchase. We had to send a photocopy of the card to a place we were staying in Cambodia and I was worried that something might happen. Luckily they caught it and notified us. New cards on the way, all is good!

November 9: Today has been a hard hard day and everything I start sounds phony. I'm not feeling the blessings, even though they are all around me. A friend of mine's mother has had cancer and she had to fly home a couple weeks ago for a health scare. She just returned this week from her funeral. Because of time and distance, having the whole family go back for the funeral just wasn't possible. I am thankful that I am not at that place. Our parents are strong and healthy for their ages and, while I think about the days that will come, I am thankful they aren't here yet.

November 10: I am thankful for my job. Teaching is a so demanding and teaching at ISB pushes me so hard in so many ways. I am thankful that I can do a job that I love--I can' imagine doing anything else. I am thankful to be in a school with such terrific resources. I am thankful to have a job in these times!

Halloween in the Jing

2010-10-31T20:23:00.004+08:00

I don't have any pics of the kids in their adorable costumes because they eschewed the whole costume thing in favor of just getting out and getting a bagful of weird candy (shrimp-flavored suckers, anyone?) Strangely enough, it was the 'rents the pulled it out and costumed up for the weekend...

Mark went out for a real costume. I prefer to find a few things around the house and improvise at the last minute.

The pumpkins turned out OK, though. One of the highlights was a guy admiring the Gene Simmons pumpkin. He said, "Great pumpkin. Weren't you the guys that did the Yankees logo pumpkin last year?" Noah was so happy that someone remembered his pumpkin for a whole year!

Halloween. The Chinese families get the idea that you get some kind of strange thing to wear and go around and get free candy. The little girls tend to be tricked out in princess outfits. The more Chinese the family the odder it gets--like the little child who had no costume but carried his candy in a mask. Or the moms that force their obviously frightened children up to strangely dressed grownups (it's not scarey enough that we're white--now we're wearing weird hats!) Or the moms that use their children as a diversion to stuff their own pockets with tons of candy while we're telling the tykes, "Just one." Definitely not American--but it is just enough American that we have a great time! Hope yours was just as fun!

Breathe Deep--Remind Me Why We're Here?!

2010-10-11T21:15:00.006+08:00

This weekend we drove through this...

...and then waded through this (note the smoggy haze)...

...in order to see some of this....

I wish I were young and irresponsible...that I didn't care about job security or savings and retirement and college funds or the effect of moving on my children. What are we doing here? This place is not for us. It's just too big, too busy, too crowded, too dirty--in short, all of the things that so many other people really love about being here. But not us.

Only in Montana. And Maybe Wyoming. Or Colorado.

2010-09-28T16:26:00.003+08:00

I am seriously having one @#$&*$ of a bad day and whatever it says about me, this made me laugh. It's seriously nice elk and picturing these guys drifting down the river with it curled up in the front (OK, so it's more "lopped off" than "curled up") definitely brightened my day. Congrats on the hunt and thanks for the giggle, Chris and Jason.

(In)Edibles

2010-09-28T09:36:00.006+08:00

For some reason most of my picture responses on Facebook come from the foods I post. Food is so completely essential to who we are. I am still a picky eater, but I have learned to looooove so many different kinds of foods. I know that I love them when I get a craving for something. Like butter chicken and papadams from the Indian restaurant. I never really craved Chinese food and I don't really here, either, but when we are at a Chinese restaurant, I definitely look for certain things I "need" for lunch or dinner. One whiff of green curry and I'm instantly transported to a greasy table along a back alley in Thailand, slurping up heavenly spoonfuls of the stuff and washing it down with the all-necessary icy beer.

I don't think I would ever get tired of or stop missing a great pizza or a fantastic burger. We ate tons of both this summer and it never got old. Here I'm willing to drive over an hour for real "American" pizza and spend over $10 for a burger that comes pretty close to home. Other things, like Mexican, I just make do. I fall into throes of ecstasy over strange things like Twizzlers. I binge on raspberry chipotle sauce over cream cheese that someone brought to book club. I have spent over $7 for a box of cereal because...well, just because. Food is so much more than stuff that fuels your body. It's comfort. It's memories of people and places past. It's part of who you are, no matter where you go.

Which means, of course, that food is, well, different around the world. I'm not talking sea cucumbers and chicken feet. Although I do have pictures. Sometimes I'm baffled by other things. Like corn, for instance. The Chinese love it. It goes on pizza. It comes as a side at McDonald's. You can have corn yougurt. Or corn ice cream. But nowhere can you get a big juicy ear of corn bathed in butter and sprinkled with salt. And some things just don't seem to work togther. Pea-flavored popsicles? Lemon tea potato chips? Hmmm...

There are those things that fall under my "picky eater" radar. Mushrooms, for example. I have tried so many different ways to eat them, but finally gave up. I'm just not going to like them. Ever.

Tofu is another. Tried it. Get the point of it. Tastes fine, because it absorbs whatever it's being cooked in. The feel? I can feel tofu in a mouthful of anything. But this spicy Sichuan-y bowl looked yummy.

I love salty things like soy sauce. I am passionate about cilantro. I adore sesame oil. Don't even get me started about garlic. I put it on everything. Really. Even if you tell me you hate it, you'll get some. So thescucumbers...well, it's a match made in heaven. I ate them for breakfast, too. Mmmmmm.

Another j'adore is shrimp. Seriously. Can there ever be anything wrong with them? Especially these little guys, with some sort of bare

ly-there spicy batter and fried garlic. It's worth burned and messy fingers to get at the tasty parts. Although it wouldn't kill someone to just freakin' peel them before they cook them. Although the Chinese probably pop them in, head, tail, and all. But they could be more free with the napkins.

At the end of the day, it's hard to complain about: 2 plates of kung-pao chicken, 1 plate of ginger mushrooms, 1 order of fried shrimp, 1 spicy tofu, 2 marinated cucumbers, 3 sweet and sour pork, 2 scrambled egg and tomato, 1 corn with pine nuts, 2 plates of dumplings, 8 orders of steam rice, 1 plate of fried rice, 15 bottles of water and 8 large bottles of beer that fed 7 adults, 5 teens and 3 littles: all for less than $200. Seriously. What's not to love about that?!

Slices of Life

2010-09-28T08:54:00.004+08:00

Classic China. I love this shot.

Oooooh, so THIS is why all the hotels come with slippers in the rooms. Must be cheaper than vacuuming.

This man needs a serious day at the beach. Party planning is hard work.

Hey. Who else in our family would have a giant iguana on his head?

And who else would be cuddling a kitten? Hopefully he's sleepy and not drugged, but I wouldn't be on it.

I get boats dressed up as fish, or ducks, or as other boats. This, however, looks like a Hurricane Katrina remnant.

Tiny slow electric carts with wide open sides are just the thing if you want to be assaulted by cabbage-crazy deer. Or bad-tempered emus.

Oh dear Lord, that boy looks old.

Another Cultural "What the...?!"

2010-09-20T16:27:00.010+08:00

(Hey, I tried to paragraph. It's not like I LIKE the way this looks...)

IKEA. Love the meatballs, hate the layout. It's some twisted psychological marketing scheme to make you wander and wander until you are so tired that just about anything looks good, even if it doesn't sound good (I'm not so sure that things like "tryvvtynsk" are real words). Generally, I would prefer to buy my stuff elsewhere, but there really are some great things at IKEA. And now, living in China, IKEA is a great place to pick up things--no haggling, you can pay with a credit card, the standard of quality is as it is at all IKEAs.

The Chinese are starting to love IKEA, too. Where we think of it as inexpensive, IKEA is not so much when you compare it to average Chinese salaries. I think there's something about a lot of the furniture there that appeals to a more streamlined minimalist aesthetic. And, they also love the no-haggle and quality aspects as well.

The Chinese also love other things about IKEA. Going to IKEA is like going to the Mall of America. Or, like me taking my family to the Forbidden City. You might buy something; in fact, you probably will, just like you'd buy a souvenir somewhere. This is a place where people list "going to malls" as a favorite activitye with their children. IKEA is destination entertainment, folks. Pack a lunch, load up the car, and let's go!

These shots are off the internet and are tame compared to what I see when I finally break down and realize I HAVE to go there. These people may have collapsed from exhaustion (not likely, given how sloooooooooooowly people wander right. down. the. middle. of. the. aisles), but they're more likely having a little siesta after lunch or tea. You know, it's a long walk from the kitchen displays where you unpacked an ENTIRE PICNIC FOR SEVEN PEOPLE over to sofas. The packed lunch is likely to be in addition to the exotic fare at the cafeteria (don't go in there without a helment and a cup, people), although the store does tip their cultural hat and offer Chinese food as well.

This is not an ad for anything. This is a very common photo op for a woman who fancies herself to be a model. She has probably got her boyfriend snapping dozens of these shots. She's just out and about enjoying the day. Sometimes these shots involve attractive women. Sometimes they don't. You can find people posing with great seriousness all over Beijing, but where else can you go to find ready made sets, all under one roof?

Spend 4 or 5 hours at IKEA and you'll be pooped. Trust me on this one, because the 1 hour I spend there (not including the 40 minutes of backed up traffic to get there and another 20 or so to navigate the parking--and that's when I get there before the store even opens) feels like a week. Looky-loos wander at a snail's pace. Often they're looking at the ceiling for some reason. Maybe it's got some mesmerizing support beams or something, I don't know. When you see something you like, make sure you have all your friends and family members around to examine it and talk about it. Be sure to stand in the middle of the aisle. Even better if you have a cart and you can park it sideways. If it's really great, take pictures of it. Take a picture of the lamp on the shelf. Take a picture of the lamp while you're holding it. Smile! Now flash the peace sign. Now look sad. Oooh, ooh, now look happy again! Pretend to hit your friend with it. Now, let's get a group shot! You can see why you'd be tuckered out.

Um....never buy floor samples. She's just checking her messages, but couples will pull off their shoes and crawl in for a nap. Moms will change their babies on beds and changing tables. Just think before you sit. Or touch.

Ava and I went on Sunday to pick out some pillows for her new room setup. She was quite put out at what she saw. "Don't they know how rude that is? What if a person wanted to see something and they can't because someone's just sitting or sleeping or something on it?" she said (she being the person who wanted to see a tent cover for her bed, but couldn't because a woman was up there trying to get a baby to sleep). I pointed out that "rude" applies when someone breaks a rule of expected behavior. The people aren't being rude because there's no rule against doing these things. "Well," she sniffed, "they better figure out the rules if they come to America or something, because it won't be okay THERE, that's for sure."

***

Cultural sensitivity. One of the blessings of living overseas.

Maybe Not Such a Big Deal for You...

2010-09-16T20:04:00.002+08:00

These pictures may not look like much (I cetainly didn't spend that much effort taking them!) but they represent a big moment for Ava and Noah. These are the first bedrooms they've ever had decorated just for them. When we lived in Minnesota Ava was a baby and had an adorable room--that I decorated. Noah shared a room with Cameron--one that he decorated.

When we moved to Tanzania, we spent the almost 3 years laboring under the illusion that we would be moving to the school site "...in just a few months." The beds were rough, the paint was weird, and there was really nothing that said "this is my space."

Here in China, Cameron sleeps in the basement, which needed some work so he got furniture and paint to create his own "man cave." It's not fancy, but then, neither is he and it suits him well. Noah and Ava soldiered on with bland walls and boring beds. This year I had them switch rooms, giving Ava the bigger room to hold her toys and her playdates and decided it time to give them a space that felt like they belonged. Courtesy of IKEA and teh New York Yankees and judging from their responses, I think I made out OK.

I don't like those decorating blogs that go 1001% for them parties where every. single. thing. is coordinated and themed and is total eye candy for the parents, but doesn't have a kid feel at all to it. I itch at people who gleefully trot out 10 or 12 tubs of fall decorations, or who change their mantle vignettes every month. One of the things I've taken to heart quite strongly is that we don't need most of what we have, that kids do not need polish and perfection to be happy, and that their stamp on something is more important than mine. Ava loves her pale lavender walls and vinyl clings. Her mosquito net is a holdover from Tanzania ("I just feel better under it, " she says) and the cushion under the bed provides a perfect space for chilling. The shelves are absolutely necessary, having lost many treasure to Chairman Miao who will knock anything off a shelf. The best part--she picked it all out. The second best part--it was cheap.

This Jeter cling is probably the most expensive thing in the room. Why can't I invent something like the Fathead?

Again, essential shelves (Chairman Miao on the prowl). The same bed (sleeping on the bottom with easy access to the iHome and a reading space on top. Everything is silver, gray, navy, and black (thank you Yankees), but there is a shout-out to the Twins on one of the walls as well. He picked it all out--and it was cheap. He loves it.

I love how my kids are content with simple things. No doubt, they would not say no to an iPad or a gaming system--and yes, they each do have an iPod and DS (hello, 15 hour plane rides)-- but I've heard kids comment to them about their things or things they don't have and all of them shrug it off easily. Things that are important (baseball gloves, a bike, an American Girl doll) are treated as special because they are. I have long struggled with the feeling that I should have more or I somehow deserve more, and I'm grateful that they seem to have taken after their dad in this respect!

I regret not making the effort earlier and the next time we move I will put their rooms first and fast. They may not have known it was a big deal, but when it was done, their reactions made it clear it was!

Who are Americans and Why do we do Stuff Like That?

2010-08-19T17:06:00.008+08:00

Culture. It affects the way we see everything. Most of the time we're a product of the culture we were raised in. We adopt different norms and values if we belong to certain subcultures such as a religious faith or if we identify with a different culture. But culture is so much more than what we do...

Or what we eat...

Or even what we wear...

I found this following article on American values fascinating. At times I resisted/resented the grouping of all Americans as one homogenous group (see #5 haha), but when I reflected on how I interpret so many of the things I've seen and experienced in the past 5 years, I realize how much of these statements ring true. When they don't, it's because I do value something different--and those differences did at times make me out of step with what the "mainstream" valued. It's long, but I hate going to a site to read something and then posting back at the blog. I'm lazy that way.

The different behaviors of a people or a culture make sense only when seen through the basic beliefs, assumptions and values of that particular group...For example, when you ask Americans for directions to get to a particular address in their own city, they may explain, in great detail, how you can get there on your own, but may never even consider walking two city blocks with you to lead you to the place. Some foreign visitors have interpreted this sort of action as showing Americans’ "unfriendliness." We would suggest, instead, that the self-help concept... is so strong in Americans that they firmly believe that no adult would ever want, even temporarily, to be dependent on another. Also, their future orientation...makes Americans think it is better to prepare you to find other addresses on your own in the future.

1. PERSONAL CONTROL OVER THE ENVIRONMENT
Americans no longer believe in the power of Fate, and they have come to look at people who do as being backward, primitive, or hopelessly naïve. To be call "fatalistic" is one of the worst criticisms one can receive in the American context; to an American, it means one is superstitious and lazy, unwilling to take any initiative in bringing about improvement...People believe every single individual should have control over whatever in the environment might potentially affect him or her. The problems of one’s life are not seen as having resulted from bad luck as much as having come from one’s laziness in pursuing a better life. Furthermore, it is considered normal that anyone should look out for his or her own self-interests first and foremost.

2. CHANGE
In the American mind, change is seen as an indisputably good condition. Change is strongly linked to development, improvement, progress, and growth. Many older, more traditional cultures consider change as a disruptive, destructive force, to be avoided if at all possible. Instead of change, such societies value stability, continuity, tradition, and a rich and ancient heritage—none of which are valued very much in the United States.

These first two values—the belief that we can do anything and the belief that any change is good—together with an American belief in the virtue of hard work and the belief that each individual has a responsibility to do the best he or she can do have helped Americans achieve some great accomplishments. So whether these beliefs are true is really irrelevant; what is important is that Americans have considered them to be true and have acted as if they were, thus, in effect, causing them to happen.

3. TIME AND ITS CONTROL
Time is, for the average American, of utmost importance...Americans seem to be more concerned with getting things accomplished on time (according to a predetermined schedule) than they are with developing deep interpersonal relations. Schedules, for the American, are meant to be planned and then followed in the smallest detail...Americans’ language is filled with references to time, giving a clear indication of how much it is valued. Time is something to be "on," to be "kept," "filled," "saved," "used," "spent," "wasted," "lost," "gained," "planned," "given," "made the most of," even "killed."

The international visitor soon learns that it is considered very rude to be late—even by 10 minutes—for an appointment in the United States. (Whenever it is absolutely impossible to be on time, you should phone ahead and tell the person you have been unavoidably detained and will be a half hour—or whatever—late.)

Time is so valued in America, because by considering time to be important one can clearly accomplish more that if one "wastes" time and does not keep busy. This philosophy has proven its worth. It has enabled Americans to be extremely productive, and productivity itself is highly valued in the United States. Many American proverbs stress the value in guarding our time, using it wisely, setting and working toward specific goals, and even expending our time and energy today so that the fruits of our labor may be enjoyed at a later time. (This latter concept is called "delayed gratification.")

4. EQUALITY/EGALITARIANISM
Equality is, for Americans, one of their most cherished values. This concept is so important for Americans that they have even given it a religious basis. They say all people have been "created equal." Most Americans believe that God views all humans alike without regard to intelligence, physical condition or economic status. In secular terms this belief is translated into the assertion that all people have an equal opportunity to succeed in life. Americans differ in opinion about how to make this ideal into a reality. Yet virtually all agree that equality is an important civic and social goal...Americans have an aversion to treating people of high position in a deferential manner, and, conversely often treat lower class people as if they were very important. Newcomers to the United States should realize that no insult or personal indignity is intended by this lack of deference to rank or position in society. A foreigner should be prepared to be considered "just like anybody else" while in the country.

5. INDIVIDUAL AND PRIVACY
The individualism that has been developed in the Western world since the Renaissance, beginning in the late 15th century, has taken its most exaggerated form in 20th century United States. Here, each individual is seen as completely and marvelously unique, that is, totally different from all other individuals and, therefore, particularly precious and wonderful.

Americans think they are more individualist in their thoughts and actions than, in fact, they are. They resist being thought of as representatives of a homogenous group, whatever the group. They may, and do, join groups—in fact many groups—but somehow believe they’re just a little different... just a little special, from other members of the same group. And they tend to leave groups as easily as they enter them.

Privacy...does not even exist in many languages...In the United States, privacy is not only seen as a very positive condition, but it is also viewed as a requirement that all humans would find equally necessary, desirable and satisfying. It is not uncommon for Americans to say—and believe—such statements as "If I don’t have at least half an hour a day to myself, I will go stark raving mad."

Individualism, as it exists in the United States, does mean that you will find a much greater variety of opinions (along with the absolute freedom to express them anywhere and anytime) here.

6. SELF-HELP CONTROL
In the United States, a person can take credit only for what he or she has accomplished by himself or herself. Americans get no credit whatsoever for having been born into a rich family. (In the United States, that would be considered "an accident of birth.") Americans pride themselves in having been born poor and, through their own sacrifice and hard work, having climbed the difficult ladder of success to whatever level they have achieved—all by themselves. The American social system has, of course, made it possible for Americans to move, relatively easily, up the social ladder.

...In the average dictionary, there will be more than 100 such words, words like self-confidence, self-conscious, self-control, self-criticism, self-deception, self-defeating, self-denial, self-discipline, self-esteem, self-expression, self-importance, self-improvement, self-interest, self-reliance, self-respect, self-restraint, self-sacrifice—the list goes on and on. The equivalent of these words cannot be found in most other languages. The list is perhaps the best indication of how seriously Americans take doing things for one’s self. The "self-made man or women" is still very much the ideal in 20th-century America.

7. COMPETITION AND FREE ENTERPRISE
Americans believe that competition brings out the best in any individual. They assert that it challenges or forces each person to produce the very best that is humanly possible...competition being fostered in the American home and in the American classroom, even on the youngest age level. Very young children, for instance, are encouraged to answer questions for which their classmates do not know the answer.

...But many U.S. Peace Corps volunteers teaching in Third World countries found the lack of competitiveness in a classroom situation equally distressing. They soon learned that what they thought to be one of the universal human characteristics represented only a peculiarly American (or Western) value.

Americans, valuing competition, have devised an economic system to go with it—free enterprise. Americans feel strongly that a highly competitive economy will bring out the best in its people and, ultimately, that the society that fosters competition will progress most rapidly. If you look for it, you will see evidence in all areas—even in fields as diverse as medicine, the arts, education, and sports—that free enterprise is the approach most often preferred in America.

8. FUTURE ORIENTATION
Valuing the future and the improvements Americans are sure the future will bring means that they devalue that past and are, to a large extent, unconscious of the present. Even a happy present goes largely unnoticed because, happy as it may be, Americans have traditionally been hopeful that the future would bring even greater happiness. Almost all energy is directed toward realizing that better future. At best, the present condition is seen as preparatory to a latter and greater event, which will eventually culminate in something even more worthwhile.

Since Americans have been taught (in value 1) to believe that Man, and not Fate, can and should be the one who controls the environment, this has made them very good at planning and executing short-term projects. This ability, in turn, has caused Americans to be invited to all corners of the earth to plan and achieve the miracles that their goal-setting can produce.

9. ACTION/WORK ORIENTATION
"Don’t just stand there," goes a typical bit of American advice, "do something!" This expression is normally used in a crisis situation, yet, in a sense, it describes most American’s entire waking life, where action—any action—is seen to be superior to inaction.

Americans routinely plan and schedule an extremely active day...Americans believe leisure activities should assume a relatively small portion of one’s total life. People think that it is "sinful" to "waste one’s time," "to sit around doing nothing," or just to "daydream."

Such a "no nonsense" attitude toward life has created many people who have come to be known as "workaholics," or people who are addicted to their work, who think constantly about their jobs and who are frustrated if they are kept away from them, even during their evening hours and weekends.

The workaholic syndrome, in turn, causes Americans to identify themselves wholly with their professions. The first question one American will ask another American when meeting for the first time is related to his or her work: "Where do you work?," or "Who (what company) are you with?" And when such a person finally goes on vacation, even the vacation will be carefully planned, very busy and active.

America may be one of the few countries in the world where it seems reasonable to speak about the "dignity of human labor," meaning by that, hard, physical labor. In America, even corporation presidents will engage in physical labor from time to time and gain, rather than lose, respect from others for such action.

10. INFORMALITY
Americans (are) extremely informal...Americans are one of the most informal and casual people in the world, even when compared to their near relative—the Western European...American bosses often urge their employees to call them by their first names and even feel uncomfortable if they are called by the title "Mr." or "Mrs."

Dress is another area where American informality will be most noticeable, perhaps even shocking. One can go to a symphony performance, for example, in any large American city nowadays and find some people in the audience dressed in blue jeans and tieless, short-sleeved shirts. Informality is also apparent in American’s greetings. The more formal "How are you?" has largely been replaced with an informal "Hi." This is as likely to be used to one’s superior as to one’s best friend.

11. DIRECTNESS, OPENNESS AND HONESTY
Americans... have always preferred the first approach. They are likely to be completely honest in delivering their negative evaluations. If you come from a society that uses the indirect manner of conveying bad news or uncomplimentary evaluations, you will be shocked at Americans’ bluntness.

Americans are not trying to make you lose face with their directness. It is important to realize that an American would not, in such case, lose face...There is no way to soften the blow of such directness and openness if you are not used to it... Indeed, Americans are trying to urge their fellow countrymen to become even more open and direct. The large number of "assertiveness" training courses that appeared in the United States in the late 1970s reflects such a commitment. Americans consider anything other than the most direct and open approach to be dishonest and insincere and will quickly lose confidence in and distrust anyone who hints at what is intended rather than saying it outright. Anyone who, in the United States, chooses to use an intermediary to deliver that message will also be considered manipulative and untrustworthy.

12. PRACTICALITY AND EFFICIENCY
Americans have a reputation of being an extremely realistic, practical and efficient people. The practical consideration is likely to be given highest priority in making any important decision in the United States. Americans pride themselves in not being very philosophically or theoretically oriented. If Americans would even admit to having a philosophy, it would probably be that of pragmatism. Will it make any money? Will it "pay its own way?" What can I gain from this activity? These are the kinds of questions that Americans are likely to ask in their practical pursuit, not such questions as: Is it aesthetically pleasing? Will it be enjoyable?, or Will it advance the cause of knowledge?

This practical, pragmatic orientation has caused Americans to contribute more inventions to the world than any other country in human history. The love of "practicality" has also caused Americans to view some professions more favorably than others. Management and economics, for example, are much more popular in the United States than philosophy or anthropology, law and medicine more valued than the arts.

Another way in which this favoring of the practical makes itself felt in the United States, is a belittling of "emotional" and "subjective" evaluations in favor of "rational" and "objective" assessments. Americans try to avoid being too sentimental in making their decisions. They judge every situation "on its merits." The popular American "trail-and-error" approach to problem solving also reflects the practical. The approach suggests listing several possible solutions to any given problem, then trying them out, one-by-one, to see which is most effective.

13. MATERIALISM/ACQUISITIVENESS
Foreigners generally consider Americans much more materialistic than Americans are likely to consider themselves. Americans would like to think that their material objects are just the natural benefits that always result from hard work and serious intent—a reward, they think, that all people could enjoy were they as industrious and hard-working as Americans.

But by any standard, Americans are materialistic. This means that they value and collect more material objects than most people would ever dream of owning. It also means they give higher priority to obtaining, maintaining and protecting their material objects than they do in developing and enjoying interpersonal relationships.

Thoughts?

(Robert Kohls of the Washington International Center is the author.. The whole text is here. I deleted sentences and passages for the sake of space, not because I disagreed or was attempting to slant the article).

The Passing of a Legend

2010-08-18T11:07:00.005+08:00

David and Eunice Simonson arrived in Tanzania in 1956 or so, ready to spend the rest of their lives there working with the Maasai people. He was originally from eastern Montana, she was from North Dakota...back when Africa must have seemed so vastly unimaginably far away. For over 50 years they preached the Gospel, not only in words but in all the work they did--education, health services, building, and church. They were part of a breed of missionaries that are so rare now--those that came to live their lives intertwined with the people they came to serve, those that never intended to leave, and the epitome of the saying "Go and preach the Gospel--use words, if necessary." The Maasai Girls' School, Operation Boostrap, and the hospital in Arusha all owe their beginnings to the Simonsons. If you have ever booked a safari through Serengeti Select, or stayed at the Tarangire Safari Lodge (and if you haven't you SHOULD) have experienced a taste of the Simonson family hospitality.

We were so privileged to know Dave and Eunice when we lived in Arusha. By that time, Dave's health was failing, but he still gave off such an air of strength and stubbornness! Eunice is impossibly gracious and humble, so kind, but you know that same inner strength had to be there to do what they did. They raised 5 children in Arusha and we counted two of them as our friends there. They may have moved to the other side of the world, but they were so blessed to have 3 of their children and attendant grandchildren live in or near Arusha. When we were preparing to move to Tanzania, I read Jim Klobucher's book The Cross Under the Acacia Tree. I suspect there is a lot of legend as well as fact in there, but I took so much courage from their story. If that woman could cross an ocean and go live in the bush with little children way back in the 50's, with no phones, no computers, no skype, no travel allowance, then obviously I could do what I was planning to do! They lived lives of service, compassion, and integrity, with complete trust in God's plan for them.

I know he was welcomed into Heaven with the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." No one could have worn those words better.

(picture of David and Eunice from Lutheran Mission Cooperative here.)

What Are We Doing?!

2010-08-17T20:47:00.005+08:00

So we're back in the Jing. Bags are unpacked and 500 pounds of American stuff is put away. The air con works (most of the time) in the house (but not at all in the car). I've made doctor visits, vet visits, and dentist visits. We've had Kro's Nest pizza for a "Ican'tbelievewe'rebackinChinaandohLORDIneedsomegoodpizza" fix and to Yao for a "Ican'tbelieveIdidn'ttellayiwhattocookandohLORDIneedsomekillerChinesefood" fix. I bought school supplies, signed forms, attended back to school meetings, and wait--actually went back to work myself! Oh, yeah--so did Mark!

It was a tiring summer. We were coast to coast and drove A LOT. At every stop we caught up with friends and family and ate too much. Everyone planned tons of great stuff to see and do. By the end, if I am completely honest, we were pretty tired and tired of being guests--it's hard to be on vacation for 7 weeks! We were looking forward to being home.

Except look at this nutty group. This is what we leave behind--and they're just a sampling. It really is hard to leave family, even though we'd really only see them once a year anyway because of distance and busy-ness. It just feels so far away here. Sometimes it doesn't feel like there's anything permanent in our lives. My kids will never be able to point and say, "there's the school I went to" or share crazy stories about the time when...They won't drive past the house they grew up in, in the town they know like the back of their hand. They won't bring their children to the park or the lake where they spent so much time. They have no pictures of Christmases with extended family. People come and go and loss is hard, people. You know it's hard when kids ask, "how long will you be in Beijing?" as one of their "get to know you" questions. I don't think any of Ava's cousins will lose their closest friend at the end of 1st grade, then 2 more in 2nd grade, and look forward to losing the 3rd at the end of this year.

We have been so blessed--when I look through our pictures, I see us at the Lincoln Memorial, in the Rocky Mountains, on the edge of Ngorongoro Crater, in the shadow of the Pyramids, and on top of the Great Wall. We have met fantastic people, eaten crazy food, and seen strange and beautiful sights. I just miss same-ness and consistency. I miss small towns. I miss the people that have made up the fabric of my life for 40 years, the very people my kids just won't know all that well. I know that my kids will have more choices than I did. They know of more possibilities and chances and opportunities in places they can't imagine. But, if one chooses to say, "been there, done that, and now I'm putting down roots here forever" I'll understand.

Celebrity is as Celebrity Does.

2010-07-18T05:30:00.004+08:00

100% Appropos of Nothing.

2010-07-18T05:28:00.003+08:00

But I DO love a good pun. Or a bad one.

Three Things I saw in Washington, DC today.

2010-07-03T10:47:00.002+08:00

Guess which one gave me the biggest thrill....seriously. Victor Sifuentes?!! Just my rotten luck that a) I spotted him in a building filled with cops and "no picture" signs, and 2) no one in my family wanted to stalk him until he exited the building. Sigh.

Big Brother is Watching You...

2010-06-01T14:30:00.001+08:00

...not that he'll be able to do anything about it if you're doing anything crazy...

...because it's a FAKE man!

When I'm Hungry...

2010-05-27T20:02:00.007+08:00

I gotta admit...Chinese food has grown on me. I was never hugely into Chinese in the States--I ate it once in awhile and liked it enough, but I didn't crave it. Most of the Chinese food we eat in the US is derived more from the Cantonese regions. Beijing food is heavier, more meat, less rice, more oil, more noodles. And don't get me started on bullfrogs, fungus, lungs, and whatever else pops up on the menu. But there are a few dishes...

The Golden Tripod has a strange name but delish food. It's way down near Tiananmen so we don't get there too often. You always have to take a number because it's so crowded and we're always the only whities there. We never have any idea what the guy with the microphone is shouting out so every time he says something we send Cameron up to find out if it's our turn. The main floor is lined with fish tanks where you can choose your dinner and people sit and pit sunflower seeds all over the floor. We always get a private room (great because of the noise).

Not everything that's cooked in these babies is good, but I think my odds are definitely improved. Bao zi (steamed buns) and jiao zi (dumplings which I usually prefer pan fried) are so so good. Look at these...so nice on the outside...

So much better on the inside! These are shrimp and chive. No soy sauce in China for dipping--that's vinegar and there's nothing better for a tasty bao zi.

Who'd've thought celery would be a craving food? This is--lightly fried in oil with lily bulbs, it's light and fresh and crispy and sweet and OMG I'm raving over celery, but there it is.

These bad boys are a bit too spicy for me. We usually have another order of noodles that come with fermented bean sauce (don't even get me started on good that is or how strange it is to think that I just wrote that I love fermented bean sauce) and then mix the noodles together. When you see that oily red color on your food, order more beer because baby, it's gonna be HOT.

Bon appetit!

What the Kids Do...

2010-05-26T21:01:00.005+08:00

They used to paddle in the pool...

Now they play ultimate games of "Drip Drip Drop."

They used to whistle down the trail...

Now they rock the 400 meters...

Then they get back to dissecting pig hearts.

They used to wear lizards on their heads...

Now they take unfortunate tanning advice from Lindsay Lohan--

but stop halfway through when they come to their senses.

Worst--and best--of all...they grow up.

Stop that!

2010-04-30T13:09:00.003+08:00

Dear Chinese people who leave comments on my blog,

If you can read the blog, then you should leave comments in English. Because, you see, I can't read Chinese. So I don't know what you're saying. Are you being complimentary? Are you insulting me? Inviting me to view naked pictures or buy performance-enhancing medicines? See, I just can't tell so I have to delete them. And I'm just way too busy to spend time doing that and writing these posts.

So, I'll say it just once...

停止，现在！

Thank you.

The Cultural Benefits of Living Overseas

2010-04-14T23:20:00.006+08:00

When you live overseas, everyone tells you how lucky you are. What wonderful experiences you are having. How great it is for your kids to be exposed to the rest of the world. I remember when I knew that leaving the States was the right thing. We had accepted the job to go to Tanzania, but couldn't tell anyone because it might have jeopardized Mark's job which was possibly on the budget cuts list. We were at baseball practice and another family was standing in front of us with their 4th grade son. "Yeah, I was offered the chance to go to London for 2 years to open the new division," he was saying. "But I said no. I mean, it would have been good and all, but Scotty here, he'd miss two baseball seasons." Two baseball seasons?! Are you kidding me?! Here I was, getting ready to drag my family to one of the poorest countries in the world because of a job with an organization run by a group of people that had never done anything like this before. This guy decided not to live in London freaking England for a couple years, very probably with all expenses covered during that time, because his 10 year old played baseball?! Yeah, it was time to get a different perspective on life and the world.

Those people are right, of course. No, not the baseball dad--the people that say we're lucky. We chose to take a leap that many people can't, or won't, do. I guess there's something different about this very traditional suburban family. Yes, lots of the big living expenses are paid for. Yes, we do see great things. Yes, we have had enough experiences to check a good many things off our "bucket lists."

There is another side, though, and it''s those things that I often feel I can't talk or complain about because I'll look ungrateful. Or, whatever I say would be considered un-PC. Or, whatever I say is glossed over with another round of "oh, but look at what you get to experience!" My friend Andalucy packed her family off to Spain this year. They and their children are fluent Spanish-speakers and I have loved reading about her family's experiences. Her children have struggled at their local school there and while she was trying to decide what to do she asked for advice. A number of people commented that the cultural benefits would outweigh the struggles. Personally, I can't imagine working for 8 hours at a job that I hated, that made me feel miserable, just because I got to work with that country's nationals. Living can give you all the culture you need. On those days when you are at odds with seemingly every. single. aspect of your life, you can't imagine how much you long for the familiar. So, at the risk of sounding ungrateful, or un-PC, there are some things that are not that great.

My kids are growing up away from their extended family. We already lived far away from them when we moved and we're spread out enough that it's hard to get together. They are losing connections with cousin and aunts and uncles. They experience tremendous loss when they move and when their friends leave. Every move reminds them that their future is uncertain, too. They don't know where they'll be in 3 years. That may be liberating for us as adults, not so much for them. Every trip home reminds them of things they miss about the States.

I miss my friends deeply. I have never made friends easily--it took me almost 15 years of living in Minnesota to find my two dearest friends. Living in a transient community is so difficult for me. I'm lonely a lot, even though we have people we socialize with. Those feelings are much stronger overseas than they were in the States.

Most of my days are filled with work, but every day brings challenges. There really are very few areas in my life where things just flow. You adjust and often everything goes great, but then something small sets you off and you realize that you're carrying a load of stress or edginess or whatever about livinglife away from the familiar. You realize how much of your home country and culture you bring with you and how that puts you out of place where you are.

A friend from Tanzania and her family moved to Dhaka in Bangledesh this year. They have had a tough adjustment from rural Canada and Tanzania to the urban poverty and crush of Dhaka. This week she posted about sitting in traffic sobbing--it took over an hour to go 1 kilometer (that's half a mile, folks) and how the entire time beggars knocked on her window and called to her. That's a cultural experience that I don't think a lot of people think about when they think about living overseas.

My DVD player broke. It's the 3rd one that's broken since we lived here. If you can get it fixed, we would have no idea where to go and there would be no assurance that it would get fixed anyway. We'd have to find someone to give up their own time to come with us to translate. I hate just junking stuff but I was fed up so I left the house at 9:30 this morning to drive 9 km to the electronics store. It took 1 hour to drive there. One hour to drive less than 5 miles, although in the "glass half full" world I was doing better than my friend in Dhaka. I walked into the store, pointed to the DVD player I wanted and pulled out the cash. One thing about China, they do not care that you don't speak Chinese and have the remarkable ability to ignore the 5 or 10 times I remind them (in Chinese) of that fact. Anyway, the drill is--you pick out what you want, then run the pretty typical gamut of being talked into something different. No, I don't want that DVD. Yes, the one I want does play DVDs from all over the world, I already have another one just like it. Yes, I do want a fapiao (receipt). Yes, I know I have to pay full price if I want a fapiao. No, I really do not want that other one. Confession: the only reason I want the one I want is because I have another one just like it so I've mastered the Chinese remote and so I know what every button labelled in Chinese does as well as all the Chinese stuff on the screen that I have to wade through when something isn't working. No, I haven't actually learned how to read any of it--I just have the different paths memorized to reset stuff.

Finally, it's done. You're going to buy the DVD. Now is the time for paperwork. There is the time it takes to enter my name and phone number into the computer--time because it's hard for them to work with our alphabet (as it would be for me to enter anything in Chinese). Then you wait for something to print out. Then you go to the other side of the store to stand in line to pay. Then you go back to the salesguy and show him the receipt. Then he prints the fapiao (the "official" receipt). Then he goes to some mystery room to retrieve it and get it back. So....from the time I pointed to the DVD player and took out my wallet to the time I walked out the door...55 minutes. I must have been in a spectacularly craptastical bad mood, because it took EVERY.SINGLE.FIBER of my to not go postal over the young guys (the one that was helping me and the 15 that watched) at the store. The truth, though--this was not a particularly horrific experience. This is what life is like here. Overseas. Having cultural experiences.

I am not ungrateful. Really, I'm not. I am living a life I never at any point in my life imagined. We are blessed beyond reason. It just that sometimes...just like life anywhere, it's hard. Hard in ways that I feel guilty about mentioning. But now I have.

Do You Know Your American History?

2010-04-11T22:56:00.005+08:00

My 4th grade classes have been working on a migration unit. For their final assessment they had to select a guiding question and then develop a plan of research. Two boys (neither of whom are American) chose the guiding question "Why do people move?" and chose the subject of pioneers moving west in the US.

A few disclaimers:

*A lot of the grammar/verb tense irregularities are very typical for this age as so many kids are bilingual or trilingual in our school.

*This was their first draft--however, they were quite disappointed at our (teacher) response...

People move because of bad weather and robbers. Less trees global warming. And they had troubles light lightings and buffalos charging into their wagons wheels falling off of their wagons their horses ran away sometimes the horses also can get hurt and injured. What they had to bring food,medicine, weapons, powder and sugar and coffee (such as rifles) and sometimes there are Indians stopping you so you will have to pay the money!

If there was bad weather and it would rain and the people will have to use an umbrella and block the rain drops. The pilgrims will have to shoot the buffalos a lot of times to kill it and the Indians had arrows and one shot will kill it buffalos are hard to kill. The Indians made spears and bows and arrows and tubes where you could put a spike inside and it will poison the enemies. The pilgrims had rifles and knifes. Every night there will be a guard to guard the camp and if he fell asleep he would get spanked and hurt. If there were no camp fire wood you could use buffalo poohs. Sometimes they would have bugs go inside their food. Sometimes there won’t be space for you to sit the people would sell their house because they had to move away quickly and buy supplies for the journey. The journeys are very difficult. The people who move on the prairies go to places called forts where they can buy supplies if they run out of them. If you get stuck on the prairie or get lost in one, you should wait until another cart or traveler comes and travels with you. If your animal pulls your cart collapse or dies, you should bandage the wound with part of your shirt to stop the wound from getting infected. Some animals needs lots of care and drinks. If you run out give most of your water you have left to your animals.

Impressive--they managed to work in global warming and references to African bushmen. Not to mention corporal abuse and umbrellas! When we were done giggling, we handed it back and strongly suggested they read the books instead of just looking at pictures and filling in the gaps. The second attempt was much better, although it did tend to focus mainly on the tremendous dangers of river crossings for some reason.

By the way, I am all for reforming the educational system, but I better not have my merit pay judged by this...

The Greatest Show on Earth.

2010-04-02T00:14:00.003+08:00

Somehow in the birthday/spring break madness, I forgot Ava's big show. There are a lot of things about our school here that I'm not crazy about, but there are some things that are really fantastic, where it all comes together in the best way. Our 2nd graders study balance and motion in science and work during their gym and music classes on circus acts involving balance and motion. The activities seem simple, but are fundamentally important in physical development. They perform for the whole elementary school and then again in the evening for families. As adults we forget how nervewracking something that like is--they were all so nervous and everyone was brilliant. Really--every. single. person. was a star. Whether they spun plates or balanced feathers or jumped rope or walked on stilts...every child was so proud of their accomplishments and so proud to perform. And in a school where everything seems to revolve around academics, this is an important opportunity for kids to turn it on.

The beginning of the show was a Rube Goldberg-esque human alarm clark to wake up the teachers and start the show. Ava jumped onto a mini-tramp and onto a pyramid as her part. She was one of the featured cartwheelers and spun a plate on a stick. Her big moment, though, was walking on a roller. Each class is assigned a skill to practice and this wasn't easy, especially since it wasn't something that she could practice at home. She loved being able to do it with her friend Cora!

'Tis the Season...

2010-03-31T12:50:00.003+08:00

With traveling, I missed Palm Sunday and now I'm realizing that Easter is this weekend. I don't go all overboard with flowers and bunny crafts and stuff like that at all, but I do like to do a few of those things. Also, I think it's important to spend time talking about the meaning of Easter (obviously). Now that we attend a non-denominational church, one that doesn't pay much attention to the church calendar that other Protestant churches do, I realize how much I rely on those calendar times (Lent, Pentacost, Advent, etc.) and how changes in the appearance of the church and the service direct your attention and focus to those times. Last Easter Sunday I was so disappointed at church because nothing was different. No Easter hymns--just the same praise and worship music we had on all the other days. I was definitely let down and did not feel the same sense of joy that I usually feel at church on that day.

Given all of that, when I saw this painting at the Louvre last week, I felt something, but I'm not sure it was joy and wonder. No, that's not true. I did wonder.

*I wondered who this Jesus was.

*I wondered why he was so muscular and why his head was so tiny.

*I wondered by his feet look like he's been wearing flip flops all his life. (see how his big toe is further away from the others?)

*I wondered why he looks like he's walking on a tight rope.

*I wondered what those other two women are whispering about. Maybe they, like I, are wondering how that cloth is staying magically fixed on his hip.

*I wondered why he's carrying a shovel. Did he have to dig his way out of the tomb?

*I wonder if I'm being too irreverent. I mean, I'm talking about a picture of Jesus, not the actual person. But still...

*I wonder what it says about me that I wondered these things. I'll be the first to admit I know very little about art and I understand that knowing more would greatly enhance my ability to understand and appreciate what I see. I also admit that I'm not super interested in doing that--you know, knowing more. The result being--I stand in a breathtaking museum, surrounded by priceless works of art, and wonder why WJHHS (Why Jesus has a shovel).

Because it really was all about Noah.

2010-03-30T12:13:00.010+08:00

Any of you who know Noah know that he is a whole lotta boy in a wiry package. He is perpetually in motion-- always acting out some inner movie (of which he appears to be the star and is always in mortal danger) and seems really generally unaware of the world around him. Life comes at him and while he picks up a lot when you think he's not paying attention, it turns out he was. When we got to the Louvre we went to the Mona Lisa right away to avoid the crowds and he was ready to leave after his 30 seconds were done. We did stay for over 3 hours, though! Talking to him generally revolves around talking about what he's reading--right now it's castles and weapons and story ideas he has. This week was great for us--we often knock heads and this was 10 days of plenty of opportunities to do that and it went so smoothly. It's rare for a middle child to have so much time with a parent by himself and he really enjoyed that, I think.

Sharpened stick in castle ruins = potential vampire threat.

This shot is called "The Big Lie." Noah was spectacularly uninterested in any of the churches.

Someone needs to stay away from carbs--hard to do in France when one is addicted.

We have very few photos of Noah just...being. As in still, and facing the camera, and still. Any picture where that happens is a gem. I was lucky enough to get 2-3 on this trip.
They're my favorites.

Get Ready for SERIOUS Book Envy, People.

2010-03-26T04:17:00.004+08:00

Look at what I was reading this afternoon. No, really look at it. As in, click on it and blow up the picture. Do you see what it is? Do you see who wrote it? It's only the very first English dictionary, written by Samuel Johnson, first printing in 1786. It's only 1 of 5 remaining copies. IN. THE. WORLD. And, as I am typing this, it's sitting not 10 feet from me. Just sitting on an ordinary desk under an ordinary lamp covered by an ordinary cloth. No musty archives, or white gloves. Just a book.

I spent an hour reading just the preface and it was fascinating. How much has language changed in the past 230 years? Yet his sections on grammar and orthography are spot on today. What we've been learning from Melvyn this week--it's all right there. What the hell have we been doing all this time?

Quote of the day, appropos perhaps, in light of the health care debate: "Change is inconvenient, whether it is for the better or for the worse."

So if reading the dicitionary is nerdy, then make me a T-shirt and print me a certificate. I'm loud and proud to be a member of that club.

Dreaming (because nothing's open right now).

2010-03-24T22:19:00.010+08:00

Before we moved to Tanzania, I made a list of things I'd want if I lived overseas. I wanted to live in a small town (or at least one that had a small-town feel). I wanted warm weather. I wanted English to not be the primary language. I wanted whatever language that was spoken to be written with the same alphabet we use in English. I wanted a place where my kids could go to good schools in English (given that we don't speak another language). I wanted a place that was politically stable.

Minneapolis was a great great place to live and if we had never left, I would never have regretted raising my family there. It's not a small town, but it is a small city for being a pretty major national player and I think it does have a small town feeling to it. But I never. ever. liked the weather.

Arusha fit the bill. The weather in Arusha was absolutely perfect. Seriously. I learned the language and would have gotten better had I stayed on. It was diverse--something I didn't know that I would appreciate so much.

Beijing...well, let's just say it's not those things. So they don't speak English, but turns out that's not making up for the other junk. Turns out pollution is much higher on my radar than it used to be.

Cluis...OK, seriously, I'm not moving to France. Yet. My kids really can't go to a French school and the thing about having jobs and making money seems to be a sticking point at this time in our lives. But should that stop a person from looking?

The kids can't go to school until they are academically fluent in French so it's going to be homeschooling. Sadly, however, we will need to work. Using my amazing powers of French and deduction, I believe the sign in the upper right window says "for rent." Using my amazing bargianing powers, honed in developing countries, I will get that flower shop below for a song. Since the flowers already come looking very pretty in pots, I don't have to actually KNOW anything about them. I'm sure I can learn all the French words for different colors pretty quickly.

Maybe the shopkeeper's life is not for me. I grew up in Montana, I owned horses, I've milked cows. Maybe what I need is a small farm. Hard outdoor work suits homeschooling, we'd have a horse or two, a couple BIG dogs...I could sell milk and eggs. Theoretically, I could learn to make some crazy fancy butter that would make me rich. I'd steer away from cheese, though. These people already have a lock on that. This sweet place is a looks like it used to be a barn. It has at least 3 other barns (one of which could be repurposed into guest rooms for travelers on the Compostela Trail or as guest rooms per the custom here). There are fields and green grass aplenty for the 10 or so cows, and neighbors that look like they could talk me out of any trouble I'd get into.

There is the fixer-upper possibility. Paris is known for its flea markets and, given the casual attitude towards things old here, I should be able to snap up a whole bunch of stuff at reasonable prices. There are a baJILLION sites devoted to women who can transform anything with a can of spray paint and a hot glue gun. This balcony will be transformed into something irresistable and I WILL have working shutters on the doors and windows (red, please, not blue).

I can rent out rooms, but Mark would still need work--that modern heating system I'm going to install won't come cheap.

Memo to self...avoid new French-looking houses. They may be less work, but they are clearly devoid of personality and style. Also, spend some time getting a really cool gate. It matters.

Impossible? Just remember, someone bought this entire CASTLE 25 years or so ago for the low low price of $162,000. I bet he thinks it was worth it, even if he does have to let people basically go in and out of his house every day.

Did I mention that I read Under the Tuscan Sun at least twice a year?

Where will you live in your next real or imagined life? Is it an actual place or something you need that you might find in many places?

Real Spelling

2010-03-23T23:43:00.003+08:00

I guess I should correct the impression that Noah and I are here in France because he needed a spelling tutor. Real Spelling is far far more than spelling and I can guarantee that some people who read this blog (that YOU Karen, Lucy, and Ave) would give their kidney to sit at the table with Melvyn Ramsden. He really is a genius--he didn't learn to read or write until he was 10, has mirror laterally (meaning he can't tell his right from his left, he writes normally with his right hand, but backwards like DaVinci with his left), and was a King's College scholar at Cambridge. He reads, writes and speaks English, French, Hebrew, and Arabic--but probably more. He's a linguist who has studied the English language and basically codified a system of spelling for the English language. He's quick to say this is not a method or a program or something's he's developed--it's a pulling together of what linguists have understood for many many years to be true in a way that is accessible and user-friendly for people.

It is an enormous paradigm shift from what we've all be taught about words and spelling, even though we intuitively know that the way we've approached spelling in the past hasn't been very effective. How many times have we all said, "People are born good or bad spellers and that is that." Those who are good at it (like me) have no idea why we are; those that are bad have not had a lot of success becoming good spellers. Research shows that remediating spelling is very difficult and there really is no effective way to do it. Phonics is a system based on sounds, and when spelling is based on or connected to phonics, you end up with the idea that English is very confusing and full of exceptions. Melvyn, and other linguists, understand that you can't understand and work with words in isolation and that the way they are spelled is connected to the meaning. All words have a base element and are added to by prefixes and suffixes. Understanding the structure of how a word is built, understanding what words are related to it and understanding that the spelling is not representing the sound of a word, but rather its meaning, is the key. Because you end up looking at word families, you build vocabulary in astonishing ways. It's very intuitive--you can't teach any one aspect in isolation.

It's really absolutely fantastic. Melvyn is completely totally passionate about words and languages. He's also an academic and hates anything to do with education, so you can imagine me sitting at the table 3 times a day hearing about how education and teachers are getting it all wrong inside out and upside down! When I'm working with him, he won't touch "how" to teach anything. He only focuses on the orthography of the words. Nerd alert here, but I could work on this stuff all day and it would feel like 10 minutes. Looking at the etymologies of words, where they come from, how they're connected, how meanings have changed, is fascinating.

And that's what the kids do. We are implementing the Real Spelling approach (using a teaching system called Word Works) and it is challenging, to say the least. Most of us have never ever been exposed to looking at words like this, and the depth of knowledge you have to develop is considerable. It's pretty intimidating and easy to feel like you know nothing. We have lots of new teachers every year and turn over 25% of our students each year, so it's a challenge to get everyone on the same page. But it makes so much sense and normalizes English in a way that works. Really, all the "exceptions" are gone. You don't ask a child to "sound it out", but instead ask them to spell it, say it, do they know what it means, can they think of any other words that might be related? Believe it or not, there is a 1 page flowchart that will tell you how to correctly add any suffix to any English word. That's pretty amazing. There are also online word checkers and etymologies kids (and teachers) can use. It would be fantastic for homeschoolers and people who are drawn to more classical education.
So, Noah. He does struggle with writing (although his improvement this year has been so great) and spelling is very weak. He approaches it from a phonetic approach and it doesn't work. This opportunity was not just about him being a better speller, per se. It was about giving him the confidence to see that there is logic to our language and that he can be in control of his writing. It's a chance to develop some of those foundational skills and understandings that we can continue to build on. When he's working with Noah and complimenting him and talking about how schools do a disservice to kids and treating him like an adult, I can really see him connecting, even if Noah doesn't say much at the time.

Noah won't come home a new and improved speller. He will come home more confident, able to work with some new tools that will allow him to be more independent, and have a way to increase his vocabulary and understanding of the world by using those tools. So that's making it worth it to us.

Pete Bowers developed a program called Wordworks and he works with schools to implement what Melvyn does within the educational system. Melvyn's Real Spelling site is here and Word Work by Pete Bowers's Word Works site is here if you want to know more.

Vive la France, baby!

2010-03-23T01:54:00.014+08:00

Did I happen to mention I'm in FRANCE? As in EUROPE, people. A place I've never been to until this week. It goes without saying, then, that the French have had a LOT to carry on their collective shoulders, as I may tend to judge not only the town and the country, but the entire continent on my experiences here. So what if it's wrong to do that?

*How come when something great happens, or I see something completely wonderful, my first thought is, "Man, I really do have to get to Italy?"

*The Chinese may be gunking up the air and the water, but man do they have some clean streets (dog poop and peeing babies notwithstanding). HINT HINT Paris.

*Things are closed on Sundays. I mean really really closed. As in, don't even think about buying a cough drop. Unless you can buy it at a cafe, because there are at least 7 on every block and they're all open. A question like, "Where can I buy a SIM card" or "Can I get some batteries" will result in a blank stare.

*Speaking of cafes...are the French either genetically programmed to say no to irresistable breads and cheeses? Or are they genetically programmed to somehow avoid the pounds that I know I'd pack on with a boulangerie on every corner. Karen suggested that you walk it off more there, but the fact that there are cafes and boulangeries every 10 feet seems to negate that. And don't get all Nancy Reagan with the "just say no" thing because I happen to know that I am genetically programmed to be unable to utter that word when confronted with cheese and bread and Diet Coke. "Enable" is not a dirty word in the same way say, "exercise" is. And, appropos of absolutely nothing, I think gold money is totally cool. So are gargoyles.

*Why is everything so charming? Is American charming? Really charming, not charming as an affected state, like Poulsbo being a Norwegian community or colonial Williamsburg or Balboa with what must be a bajillion codes to keep it looking like that. You know, just organically naturally charming.

*Damn, it's expensive. Our hotel room had enough room for 2 suitcases stacked. And 2 beds. It was....um...cozy. You can't believe what I paid. Ouch! And the stairs--I don't mind carrying up my big suitecase 3 flights at all. It's a bit trickier when said stairs are actually spiral and are just as wide as the suitcase itself. Hmmmm--how many times do I buck that bag up those stairs to earn another Camembert/chevre baguette?

*While I speak neither French nor Chinese, it's possible to impress a Chinese woman on the subway with my ability to read the subway stops. It's equally possible to probably insult all the French people on the same subway with my wretched pronunciation when I do actually speak out loud.

*I miss small towns. Green fields. People that know each other's history and business. Quiet places that are actually people-free. Space.

*People here take history with a casual air. It's no big deal that there are 2 Roman sarcophagi with bones in them in the cellar of the town hall. Or that the house we're staying in is over 275 years old and has beams held together with wooden pins. Or that those beams were clearly used somewhere before this house. Castle ruins down the road? Oh, just part of the scenery.

*I will NEVER want a small car. There, I admit it. I will always want an SUV even though I am spewing toxins right and left. My current car would not make some of the corners in this village.

*Back to clean--that was just Paris. Cluis is very very very clean.

*Real Spelling rocks. Why are we all wasting our time with anything else?

...And the Beat Goes On...

2010-03-13T20:41:00.006+08:00

Another round of birthdays passes, another year older. I could wax poetic about it all, but honestly...what can you say when your children go from this...

To this...
To this...

Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.

Sigh....I love these guys.

It's Serious Business Here, Folks.

2010-03-10T21:35:00.005+08:00

I hate to generalize, but...Asians (at least Chinese and Koreans) take things seriously when it comes to their kids. Not a lot is left to chance, so that's where tutors come into play. Not just your ordinary English or Chinese or math tutors, either. My students have swimming tutors, music tutors, drawing tutors, and sports tutors (basically private coaches) as well as academic tutors. They may be outstanding students in school, but still be tutored privately. Korean students also have Korean academy, basically a second round of school all in Korean. If there's something that they would like their kids to be interested in, they seem to turn to tutors. Just "messing around" and exploring things is less a part of their approach. It often makes for overtaxed overworked kids. On the other hand,

if your kids have spent their free time dueling with big sticks, hanging at the beach over the summer, and going to fishing camp, it can be hard to keep up. It's definitely an area where you see the values different cultures place on down time, on exploring, on unstructured learning and learning through play.

And, judging from this ad placed in our expat online forum, it starts early.

My son, 3 years old, is very into lego at the moment. I was wondering if any lego education centre near the east third ring road. Or if any freelancer who can come to our apartment or clubhouse (then I may invite other kids to join too).

Yep, I think she's looking for a Lego tutor.

*On the Time cover, see the kid on the left in the blue shirt with the backpack? Points if you can name the hit TV show he's currently on.

ISB Temple Fair

2010-03-06T15:25:00.011+08:00

Temple fairs were begun in the 10th century and continued formally through the early 0th century and the Qing dynasty. Temples celebrated the Buddhist and Hindu faiths, while merchants set up booths outside. Gradually many fairs became more secular and now include performers, crafts, and foods for sale. During the Spring Festival (the week of Chinese New Year) most parks and temples have a temple fair. We haven't been...they are so crowded you literally can not move! ISB's temple fair is a less chaotic. The Chinese department shines as the kids show the songs, dances, and other performances they learn in their classes. All Chinese students, from kindergarden through 5th grade, perform. There's lots of red everywhere so even a cold dreary February day looks pretty festive!

Ava's (that's her on the right in the pink) class did a wu shu routine (a type of martial arts). She was pretty much overcome with embarrassment about the whole performance thing--it's that more than the cold that kept her face tucked into her coat! Noah did also did a type of martial arts routine, but seemed to have his eyes on a little cutie in the front row, so he looked a bit distracted (please Lord, don't let that be starting!) There were also dragon dances, chinese yo-yos, and drumming. What the kids love best, though, is that they're out of school for the afternoon to wander, buy trinkets, watch their friends, and play games.

Oh, and food. If there's one thing you can count on here, it's that if there's a group of people (and seriously, when isn't there a group of people in this country?) there's going to be food. Which is true, I suppose, for most everyone. Maybe that's why everywhere we go we feel like we're at Grand Old Days or something! I had to spend an hour monitoring the jian bing cart--delicious thin pancakes cooked like on a flat grill like a crepe. Add some egg, green onion, some sort of brown sauce, and some mystery cracker things, fold 'em up, and YUM! All for about 50 cents. You wouldn't think pancake management was a big deal, but HAH. It's one thing when the kids rush up and forget their line basics, but adults--sheesh. I showed a man where the other 8 people were lined up and he replied, "I'm just getting one." Yeah, you and everyone else, Buckwheat. At least three other women professed amazement: "Oh, we have to queue up? " Um, yeah. That's what we spend time teaching your children, you know...line up, take your turn, or a teacher will yell at you.

But the food...cold weather foods reign. Noodles (handmade and handstretched) are a fantastic treat. I'm not a sweet potato person, but hot roasted sweet potatos sold from the back of a bicycle cooker must be one of the best smells of a Beijing winter. Maybe I should start a baking potato cart...one cooker for those tiny new-skinned potatos with a light coat of olive oil and then baked with flaked salt, garlic, and rosemary. Another cooker with just big baked potatos-cheese, sour cream, chives, and bacon bits included. Wowza.

The treat that takes the cake are sugared fruit, called tanhulu. When it gets warmer you'll see strawberries, grapes, oranges, kiwi, pineapple, and watermelon, but I think these Hawthorn apples are the very best. And they are the very very VERY best if you can score one fresh out of the sugar syrup. A bonus if they get wrapped in rice paper, which the kids think is funny to eat. Hawthorn apples have the consistency of a slightly soft apple, but are tart like a crabapple. DELICIOSO!

I think the smile says it all!

Lion Dancing!

2010-02-17T23:51:00.003+08:00

Xīn Nián Kuài Lè!

2010-02-17T21:35:00.005+08:00

Happy New Year! It's the Year of the Tiger, don'tcha know...so we'd like to also wish everyone "Gōng Xǐ Fā Cái" which means "may you be prosperous." New Year's Day also coincided with Valentine's Day, so we decided to spend the weekend down in the city. New Year's is like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the 4th of July all rolled into one! At the same time, no one really wants to miss an opportunity to make a buck (or a kuai) so most businesses do stay open, giving us a chance to slurp up a Blizzard from Dairy Queen as well as more delicious Chinese food. We caught some terrifically dangerous fireworks, too!

Of course, one of of the nicest things about Chinese New Year is a week off of work! The Hillmans barely survived last week--all but Ava were at death's door with a really nasty cough, cold, and fever. Thank goodness we're healed up enough to enjoy some time off!

First, there was awesome swimming! The pool was underground and dark--with lots of secret places, waterfalls, fountains, and FUN! Definitely one of the best pools we've ever been to.

Then, FOOD! Jiao zi (dumplings) are traditional, but the Golden Tripod serves up fantastic bowls of noodles and these terrific Cantonese shrimp dim sum thingies...which no one but me likes (hooray)!

Then there's the fireworks. The clips don't begin to describe the noise level...the firecrackers made my ears ring for several hours. The other clip gives an indea of the nonstop booming that goes on from about 10:00 until 1:00 am. And it's not only New Year's Eve--it's the days before and after as well! And safety? Forget about it. How about guys waving 7-8 feet of firecrackers over their heads while they're exploding? Or setting off fireworks in narrow alleys between buildings? Or in the middle of the street while cars are driving by?

More to come!

God Bless Minnesota. Or, Stop Changing!

2010-02-01T18:07:00.008+08:00

Remember Santa Bear? He used to live at a magical place called Dayton's. Sadly, Dayton's doesn't exist any more. Even more sadly, I couldn't find a Dayton's logo on Google. SIGH. Yes, it "became" Marshall Fields. Not the same. You can sell your Frango mints, you can have your holiday display, but Dayton's is NOT Dayton's unless it's DAYTON'S.

Last week I started searching for plane tickets for our summer travel marathon (it's a big one this year, baby...blink and you'll miss us). I dutifully entered the address for my good old friend, Northwest Airlines. NWA is a good old friend of the sort that is always around, but can really tick you off because they're so rigid sometimes, and they always seem to borrow money from you and you never get it back, and if you want to do something, they want to have it all their way. But you know, they're around, and they've been your friend for so long that even though you may kvetch about them, it's not like you're going to kiss them goodbye or anything. You've got, you know, a history together.

Until today, when I found out they kissed me goodbye. When I entered my trusty address, this is what I found. DELTA? DELTA?! Delta is not my friend. Delta is not Minnesota. Delta is UTAH, for cryin' out loud. The merger was one thing, as long as it was hidden behind the NWA logo. I'm not happy AT ALL about this development. Last week, I could fly from Beijing to Tokyo to Minneapolis. NOW, these DELTA people have decided I should go to ATLANTA. For, oh, I don't know, 3-4 hours. HELLO, DELTA--I'm on the freakin' plane for 13 hours as it is...are you REALLY going to make me sit in ATLANTA just to prolong the fun?

They better not mess with this one, I'll tell you what...

Everything Chinese was Good Today.

2010-01-30T23:05:00.003+08:00

I am so disppointed that I didn't have my camera today on our expedition. We had a fantastic warm day with blue skies and headed down to Houhai to do a bit of chairskating. It's just what it sounds like...little metal chairs welded to runners. Usually one or two people (but you can get 3-4 crammed on them) scoot around the ice, propelled by....screwdrivers welded to longer metal spikes. You can see the ice bikes in the background, too--bikes welded to runners. Oh, and there are ice skaters, too--all wobbling or dodging in and out. You can get quite a bit of speed going. Imagine hundreds of kids, families, teens, all zipping to and fro across the ice, waving two foot long sharpened scredrivers. No one can stop, it's impossible to steer, and the Chinese continue to demonstrate what seems to be a complete inability to judge distance. It is so. much. FUN. Honestly, it's one of the few times I don't mind all the people crashing around and screaming. We spent a couple hours racing around and just loving the bright skies and the beautiful weather.

Then it was off to the Golden Tripod for dinner. I just lurve dim sum--we had shrimp and shrimp/chive dumplings, barbequed Sichaun pork buns, and miniature pork meat pies. The best part...no one else in the family seems to go go for these things the way I do, so I don't have to share! Cantonese food is so much lighter and fresher tasting--I think our American interpretations of Chinese food must be largely Cantonese. But Beijing does know how do do one thing and that's NOODLES. We had Sichuan noodles with shredded pork...spicy and delish. And these noodles are also super--you get a big bowl of plain noodles, a plate of julienned carrots, radishes, and celery, and a few bowls of toppings--usually a fermented bean paste (my favorite), and then some egg-y one and then a mystery meat or tofu one. You just pour on any or all and dig in. Sometimes restaurants have private rooms--they're fun and nice when the restaurant is really crowded and loud. And, you always get good value reading the menu--pigtrotters, or stuffed cow intestines, anyone? No? Maybe boiled fungus and glutinous rice? Duck feet? Maybe you can see why noodles are a tasty (and safe) bet.

I really can't recommend visiting Beijing in the winter for the most part...but if you come, chairskating is a don't miss activity--and one that isn't well-publicized in the travel books. And I just love the restaurant so it's a good excuse to get to that part of the city!

One Last Glimpse...

2010-01-30T22:15:00.003+08:00

Khao San Street, Bangkok...big hippie/backpacker vibe.

Hua Hin night market.

Young monks (maybe 11-14 years old) on the river taxi)

She's resting, but she'll carry all of that across her back!

Ringing in the New Year

2010-01-28T21:05:00.005+08:00

For most of my life, I have happily avoided New Year's celebrations. Drinks and food are overpriced, restaurants are overcrowded, and celebrations seem forced. I just don't get staying up late so I can drink a little more and jump up and down. Lucky me--now I live in a country where I can get not one, but TWO New Year's (we're getting ready to roll in the Year of the Tiger in a couple weeks).

Did I mention that I love Thailand? Because I think I've found the perfect way to celebrate New Year's. I'd even go so far as to say it would be perfect even if it weren't celebrated in shorts or on a beach. If the beginning of January (from the Latin "Janus" the god gates and doorways, beginnings and endings) is a time of looking back at what has happened and looking ahead to what is to come, shouldn't there be a better way to do it than by wearing a silly hat and mauling strangers?

We saw this Thai tradition (or maybe it's Buddhist) last year from a distance and it was just beautiful, so we were very excited to be able to participate this year. The resort we stayed at had a big Thai/seafood barbecue and then fireworks and lanterns at 9:30 for the kids and again at midnight. We had so much fun we all stayed up to do it twice. The idea is that you light the lanterns and make a wish or a promise or a resolution, or say a prayer, or whatever touches your heart. Then, you release the lantern. I had such a feeling of peace as I watched our lanterns sail up and out over the ocean. Up and down the coast we could see lanterns being released everywhere. Lovely.

Quick Trip Back to Thailand

2010-01-26T19:45:00.010+08:00

So...having the computer gone right after Christmas prevented me from posting many pictures from Thailand. Now, it just seems a bit silly now that Chinese New Year is drawing closer. But the cold just will. not. go. away. Period. And today I worked with my 3rd graders on crafting thir thesis statements and I found myself coming up with "Summer is the best season of the year" which tells me I could use some freakin' HOT weather. So, back to the warm memories of Thailand.

I just love Thailand, have I mentioned that before? I'm starting to realize how much I would love living near the ocean. It would take some time to adjust to the heat and humidity--for awhile you'd just feel like doing very little, I think, because you'd be in "summer vacation" mode and I do think the humidity would be wearing. That being said, have I mentioned how much I love Thailand?

I'm not very adventurous about food--Thailand is the only place I've been where I really don't mind (or worry about) bellying up to a cart and just ordering. Thai food must be one of the best cuisines in the world. So fresh. So flavorful. So spicy! No matter where we go, the ingredients are fresh, the meat is top quality, and everything has a bit of a kick. We consumed gallons of green curry, platefuls of Pad Thai, and buckets of beef and basil. Everything is served with rice (take note, CHINA) and the portions are small, which we don't mind at all. It just means that you can try more things! The seafood is fantastic, too--not to mention tastes from other places! We stick generally to soda, water, and beer/gin, but the Thais must put away astonishing amounts of condensed milk, judging by the cases of it near every drink stand. Tanzanians were crazy about super-sweet things, too, in a much different way than we are in the States. If I could criticize anything, it's that they, like China, really doesn't get the idea of dessert. Red bean juice over ice? No thanks. Fresh watermelon, oranges, or dragonfruit. No problem!

Yeah. A tray of those nice big prawns(the tails are probably 5 inches long) will set you back about $5. That's kind of pricey, actually.

Hey, who could pass up an opportunity to experience the meeting of two culinary cultures? Ronald is giving us the traditional Thai "thank you." As in "thank you for passing up fresh delicious food in favor of cheesy fries." Not that the US should be looking into cheesy fries at McDonald's. But they should.

So let's get back to the wats. The what? The wat! Sorry, couldn't resist. At the National Palace, the Wat Phra Kaew is simply amazing. Really, I sooo want to go to Rome to see churches and cathedrals and art to see that kind of magnificence. I always have the same unreal feeling, though, about all the idols. So many buildings everywhere, but most of them aren't open. What's inside? On the spectacular side--the whitewhitehite walls contrasting with the gold and jewels and mirrored/glass tiles...wow. The detailing is just amazing. Look at this...

The highlight of the temple is the Emerald Buddha. According to legend, the Emerald Buddha was created in India in 43 BC. Over time the Buddha was moved to Angkor Wat and then back to Thailand, where it was covered in plaster to hide it. When lightning struck a pagoda, the Buddha was cracked open and people believed it was made of emerald (it's actually jade). In 1784 it was moved to the current location. It's one of the most important Buddhas in Asia. It has 3 different outfits (summer, winter, rain) and the King changes the Buddha's outfit on specific days of the year. No pictures are allowed, so the one I actually took didn't turn out well, as you can see--the other one is from a postcard. It appears to sit on a pile of gold and over 100 people at any time were praying in the temple.

More soon!

Book Recommendation from the Soapbox

2010-01-12T13:36:00.006+08:00

So my computer is very hinky and has gone to the computer doctor...along with my Thai pictures. But you'd rather read a book review and a bit of speechifying, wouldn't you?

Stones into Schools is the followup to Mortenson's book Three Cups of Tea. While Three Cups focused on how Mortenson began his mission of building schools in Pakistan and his learning curve, Stones clearly shows the knowledge and understanding that he has acquired. It's the story of his work as it moves into Afghanistan, a country much more remote, unstable, and difficult than Pakistan. I don't know if it's the use of a different writer or the choice to write in first person, but Stones is much better and more inspiring than Three Cups. Mortenson remains so humble, willing to listen and ask questions instead of pontificating, tough enough to travel to some of the most forbidding and dangerous places on earth, yet torn by the hundreds of requests made to him that he can't possibly fulfill. His determination to provide schools for people who have been forgotten by everyone, including their own governments is truly heroic. It was especially eye-opening to read about just how remote and difficult life is in the hinterlands of Afghanistan, how almost 30 years of war has devasted the people, and how desperately they want the same basic things we all do--safety, food, a chance to go go school, to raise a family, to see one's children better off than their parents. So much attention is focused on places in Africa, and the only news that comes from these regions is about the war--very little about the people who just as desperate.

Mortenson's descriptions really served to illustrate just how difficult life is. Mortenson visited Pakistan after the earthquake there and saw first hand what kinds of "aid" makes a difference and how horrific the situation was. The people who ask for the first school in Afghanistan live in snow from September to June and on the brink of starvation every single day. No school, post office, voting box, doctor, or food assistance. They are completely cut off and abandoned, but they found a way to find Mortenson to ask for a school. And then hung on almost 10 years until it could be built.

One of the more heartening aspects of the book was Mortenson's relationships with the US military stationed there. A former military man himself, he has been critical of the actions in that area and refuses to take any federal money or be connected to any military personnel. However, at one point, he needs the military to help access and make contact with the people of an area. He was surprised and encouraged to find out that, despite what has been said by the Bushes and Rumsfelds of the government, the men serving on the ground truly understood the people. They knew the feuds, the powerplays, who trusted whom, the roles people played, the customs and beliefs the governed decision-making. They knew that education was vital, that it had to be sustained by the people and that they needed to follow the traditions that surrounded those relationships. It was a powerful reminder that there are good people that do good things, and that the people who speak for a country don't always speak for the people of that country.

It was an interesting book to read along with my book club book for this month, Hot, Flat, and Crowded by Thomas Friedman and after seeing the news of the Nigerian bomber. Friedman asserts that our friends the Saudis, the one we buy all our oil from, use that money to fund fundamentalist Muslim schools. Basically Friedman states that, in addition to pollution and "green" issues, our dependence on oil actually funds the sorts of schools that encourage that very fundamentalist, often violent, way of thinking. This sentiment was echoed in Three Cups when Mortenson found schools in many communities that were funded by Saudis and were teaching a fundamentalist brand of Islam. But of course, the people in the community can't be choosy--often they are the only schools available. We know from our own experience here what happens when a child is disenfranchised, cut off, unsupported by family, or community. That child will fill that gap with a social group and will do what he or she has to do to be a part of that group. We call them gangs. We see the effects of children who feel like they have nothing to care for, that people don't care for them--they look for places to belong. It's the same all over the world. Find a place where people are poor, where they have to struggle to get food, where educational opportunities are scarce, where jobs and security may be almost nonexistent. Let's call this place AFRICA. I think many countries in Africa are ripe for the picking--if people are promised those things they need and value--food, security, education, status--they will take them at virtually whatever the cost. In areas where the traditional family and community structures are damaged through war, poverty, and AIDs, I don't think it would take much for young men to align themselves with an organization that would give them what they needed.

That's why I think Mortenson's project, and any project that promotes education, is so critical. I love that he doesn't promote a Western or Christian or Muslim or any specific focus for his education, only that school be accessible, that they educate a certain percentage of girls, and that they be neutral politically and religiously--that children have the ability to attend a school that is culturally appropriate and free from the pressures of fundamentalism. I think if the US applied its skills and money to rebuilding these areas at a very grass roots level, we could change the way other countries think about Americans. We could fight back at a basic level using education instead of guns. We could rebuild our image and our relationships with countries that view us with such suspicion (and we, them). We did it all across Europe with the Marshall Plan. Why do we have to fight terrorism with weapons alone?

Read the book. And then write a check, if you feel so inclined. And then give thanks that we are so priveleged to be able to take education for granted.

Greg Mortenson has a blog here that provides more information on articles, programs, and activities related to his passion.

Appropos of Nothing...

2010-01-10T21:41:00.003+08:00

...but why do Chinese snowmen look like this?

What's with the pyramid body? They have lots of art and symbols that use the circle. Why not a standard 3 sphere snow body? Or am I being too ethnocentric? Discuss.

Want a smoke?

2010-01-10T17:00:00.003+08:00

Yeah, so I'm not apologizing for this one, except to say that after this I'll move on to the fun parts of vacation. I couldn't get a better picture of this and kept forgetting every time I was in another 7-11. If you click on the picture you can see they've gone a little farther than our Surgeon General's warning about smoking. Each pack is graphically adorned with a picture of the effects of smoking--tumours, rotted teeth, abcesses, the whole nine yards.

It was even more surreal to watch someone buy a pack, look at the picture, and then light one up. I do understand that smoking is so highly addictive and so so hard to stop. I just don't understand why people start.

Next post--really--will be all the fun that is Thailand!

Thoughts on Animals

2010-01-10T16:14:00.006+08:00

I do have problems with people interacting with animals inappropriately. Of course everyone wants to get close to exotic animals and I'm no exception. We have pictures of us with a cheetah in Nairobi and on the back of an elephant in Thailand. I always come away, though, with a vaguely dirty feeling, as if I've contributed to some sort of exploitation. It was the same with Monkey Island. We kayaked about 30 minutes to an island near our hotel in Thailand and brought some bananas. Macaques live there and wait on the beach for the hordes of tourists to deliver snacks. I was actually a bit nervous and suprised that other parents of small children didn't seem to be. Wild animals that are used to being around humans can be far more dangerous than those who haven't. And we've seen the damage that monkeys can do up close when we were in Tanzania. Of course, the kids loved the opportunity to hand a young monkey a treat. Noah was very nervous and just as the monkey reached for a cracker he jerked his hand back. The cracker fell in the water and the monkey had to go in and get it. He picked up the soggy cracker, stuffed it in his mouth, and then turned around and slapped Noah on the arm as if to say, "What a dork!" The monkey in the previous video was more than happy to jump on Cameron and proclaim himself the KING. It would be a short and mind-bogglingly quick move, though, from happy jumping monkey to angry biting monkey. I felt bad participating in it at the end.

Pets are also treated similarly very differently. Although I've posted about seeing dog hides here in China, it actually doesn't really bother me that much. It's startling to see a recognizable hide hanging somewhere, but it really is a cultural difference more about food and practicality. While I don't plan on eating dog, I don't really have a problem with a culture that does, and then uses the hide for to make something useful. I don't want to eat horse, either, and I love horses, but I don't really have a problem with people who would eat one. What's so sad here is casual attitude about pets. A post on our local e-group had someone asking where they could buy a cute cheap puppy at a dog market. Their 2 year old wanted a puppy so they wanted something young and small and not too much work because they'd be getting rid of it after a couple years when they left China. The person's writing and tagname indicated they were very likely Asian. They were blasted from every possible side by people (including me) about the irresponsibility and carelessness of treating a living animal like a disposable lighter. There are dog markets here, courtesy of hundreds of puppy mills, but we saw our first dog market in Bangkok, very accidentally.

Again, Ava adored all the fluffy sweet puppies--you could get anything from a chihuahua to a St. Bernard, the perfect dog for a crowded city where the temperature never drops below 85. They all look fine, but are rife with all sorts of diseases and weaknesses that will render that little sweet thing one sick puppy. Shop after shop after shop hawked thses poor puppies--I think the worst were the other AMERICAN tourists who oohed and aahed over them and thought it was just wonderful how you could get all these puppies! So many to choose from and so cheap!

Of course if puppies aren't your thing, you could buy a crocodile (actually, probably a caimen). Or a 4 foot long iguana. Maybe a parrot--they had adults and crates and crates of baby parrots that didn't even have feathers yet. Or a baby squirrel. Animal trafficking is a big problem in Asia, so I think there's a good chance those animals were obtained from the wild. I don't think I'd have to ask too much at all to get myself a monkey or something else exotic.

To end on a more cheerful note, this is our rescued cat Mao with his fluffy white friend. Back in July on a pouring day we saw a small white kitten completely drenched and obviously homeless. Heartless mother that I am I would only let Cameron put it in the yard and said he could feed it. I figured it would be safer there, and I really don't want to take on an animal I'm not willing/able to move to a new country at some point. The kitten disappeared after 4 days. I thought I saw him this fall, but he was much too skittish to get close. I think this is the same cat. It's very pretty and not too skinny. We often have stray cats in our yard and we always put out a dish for them. This one has come several times and sleeps in the sun on that ledge or on a chair. Mao loves to go adventuring outside so I assume this is one of his buddies.

King of the Hill(man)

2010-01-08T16:51:00.001+08:00

Happy New Year!

2010-01-08T15:54:00.008+08:00

Thailand has a wonderful tradition of lighting paper lanterns on New Year's Eve. You light one, make a wish (or probably more likely a Buddhist prayer), and let them go. It's incredibly peaceful and beautiful to see hundreds of lights wafting upward over the ocean. Sigh. I loved it.

More soon from Thailand, really one of the best places I've ever visited on so many levels. Everything about it was fantastic. We're definitely going back.

Shèngdàn kuàilè--Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T15:52:00.003+08:00

May the peace and blessings brought by a tiny baby so long ago be with you on Christmas Day and throughout the new year.

A Crush of Creches.

2009-12-12T14:12:00.009+08:00

Lucy's post about the nativity fair they visited in Seville reminded me of how much I love nativities. Granted I don't go for the whole city theme the way they do in Spain (and I don't have a little pooper in mine--yet) but even people that don't practice a faith are drawn to them. Except my neighbor, who is apparently a seriously lapsed Catholic with residual something, because he told his wife NO WAY was he going to have a nativity in the house so now I want to buy one and put it up outside his door. Baby Jesus can hold a sign that says "Please let me in for Christmas." Maybe that goes over better in the idea than in the execution, though. He's Cam's bio. teacher--wouldn't want to mess with the grade on finals week!

Anyway. Nativities. My mother has a very sweet old one (that I hope I get someday, not that I'm vulturizing her stuff before she's gone or anything, but I just want everyone--Greg and Sharon--to know how I feel) where the baby Jesus could be taken out of the manger. We used to replace him with a jelly bean or a Weeble and make my mother so mad. I bought this one once upon a time at Fred Meyer--$9.99--because it kind of reminded me of her figures. Doesn't that wise man on the left look a little bemused? When Cameron was little he rolled them all off the stable roof and I guess I didn't glue all their heads back on straight. We don't have the stable here with us so I think they always look a little lost and lonely somehow.

When I look at this, the miracle of Christmas is that this Mary gave birth to that Jesus. Look at the size of Him. That head!

I love this tiny Nativity that I got years ago at the Bibelot Shop in St. Paul. For several years I kept it out year round as a reminder of Christmas because it’s so tiny…Mary and Joseph are less than an inch tall. Even though it's so small, it's one of the first things I notice whenever I come into the room. I love the star on the stable, too--it reminds me more of a sun, actually, so I suppose there's some metaphor for it looking like both a star and a sun, but I don't know. I just love this little family.

Last year when we were in Thailand we went to a famous celadon shop where I wanted to buy a dessert set--small bowls, plates, and a tea/coffee set. Not that I get fancy on that kind of stuff, but they are so beautiful and I just knew that my wretched--I mean lovely--kids would be breaking them in a second so I didn't dare buy a whole set of dishes because they're sort of expensive, so I thought a dessert set would be just the thing. After choosing a design and scouring the store to come up with 8 of everything, I ended up short a cup and a plate. That was when the salesgirl, who had oh-so-helpfully trailed me all over the store, told me that oh, sorry, yes, they don't have all of that particular pattern. LIKE SHE COULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT while I was spending an hour looking for everything. And of course, they are the biggest celadon retailer in that region, so no ma'am, sorry, no way to get any more. Maybe I could come back next week. Did I mention how much fun the rest of my family was not having at this point?

So while I was fuming, I spied this gem…and forgot all about dessert. They are so lovely. The firing process for celadon leaves a fine cracked pattern. No faces or detailing—just a peaceful shade of green and a calmness that I feel when I look at them. I almost didn’t take them out because the cat loves to deliberately bat things off shelves, but they are sitting where he doesn’t go and I think they’re heavy enough that he might give up before he did any damage. I have the rest of the figures, but this is so sweet.

This adorable trio is from Tanzania. They were made by a group of women in Moshi who had lost their husbands and were working to earn money to support their families. I bought it the first time I visited in 2002, when I had no idea how devastating losing a husband could be in that country. Their shop was behind the cemetery which I found so sad. I love this little family, too.

This was my birthday present this year and I couldn’t be happier. I adore this Nativity beyond words. It’s carved from camphor wood so the scent is heavenly. And it’s oh-so-Chinese—the trees, the faces, the eyes. A shop near us has (he says, and I guess he could be right) the only Christian woodcarver in China. I loved these last year at our spring fair and fell in love again when they opened a shop up the street.

I love the detailing—look at his face! I don’t know who he is, though…I have 3 wise men, all bearing gifts and wearing crowns. I have 2 angels, so I guess there’s an extra one for the big announcements. I have 2 shepherds--they have the same hats, although one brought a gift, which was something new. And then I have this guy…he definitely does not look like a shepherd. But he’s definitely not a wise man. So…I guess we’ll have to work out a special job for him. Maybe he's the inn-keeper? This shop also sells the greatest Noah’s ark sets where the ark is a dragon boat. My favorite one is a large dragon boat and the pairs of animals are from the Chinese zodiac. That one is definitely coming home with me, too. Some day.

Sadly, for some reason I never purchased a nativity when we lived in Tanzania. They had some very nice ones and I regret not having one now, because I can’t understand why I didn’t get one! However, having seen my beautiful Chinese set, I’m thinking of asking him to carve one. I have so many pictures and an idea of Masaai warriors standing one leg holding their spears for the shepherds, a gentle-eyed cow with huge horns and the hump on his back, a traditional boma for the stable, maybe with a kraal around it, an acacia tree providing shade, the wise men carrying calabashes, perhaps a lion that would lie down with the lamb…It sounds strange, but I think I could have one made with more African flavor than the ones I saw in Tanzania. I also have 2 adorable rustic Santas that would be fantastic rendered with Chinese faces. Hmmm....

I’m hoping the Chinese nativities (they have smaller ones) will be available in the spring when it’s closer to thinking about heading home for the summer. I would gladly take orders—or trade for a Spanish one (hint hint)! Until then….

…or as my kids often say….

I know. This is payback for the “jellybean in the manger” trick.

Christmas is Coming...

2009-12-08T00:58:00.003+08:00

According to Wikipedia there are around 41 million Christians in China. That's a lot...of course, there are 21 million people in just Beijing. And Beijing is not the biggest city. And a city of 7 million people is not considered large here. Christmas is definitely present around this time...but it's largely for the foreigners. Wealthy Chinese, especially those who have lived in Western countries may do a bit more present giving, but even the Chinese that work at our school, surrounded by talk and decorations and plans, don't pay much attention to it. Two quotes in a local magazine:

"I know that Christmas is orginally from Christianity. Some people call it "the second Valentine's Day." Young people here seem to go crazy for it. Lovers buy each other gifts and go to Western restaurants for romantic dinners; some go to bars to drink and dance till the small hours. I guess when it comes to Christmas Day they can experience as many Western things as they want."

"I don't know what Christmas is." The only thing I know about is that it's a Western festival. During Christmas the city looks different; there's a feeling of freshness. But I don't take my kids to the city just to look at pictures of Santa Claus. We'll only make a special effort to go and look at decorations when it comes to the Spring Festival (Chinese New Year)."

Interesting. In my apparently self-centered way, I knew that enormous chunks of the world don't celebrate Christmas. It's just interesting to know that I'm surrounded by people who don't know what it is, both from a faith and a cultural perspective.

I did find a Christian carver who makes Chinese nativities, though. One's going to look great in our house she thinks, humming "happy birthday to me" softly around her husband.

Mad for Mad Men

2009-12-06T17:06:00.007+08:00

My latest show of interest is "Mad Men" so if you've got any inside information about what's coming, keep it to yourselves. It takes place in the late 1950's-very early 1960s (there's a reference for some of the guys getting on the bandwagon for Richard Nixon) and centers around an NYC ad agency. In the opening episodes the admen are trying to salvage their Lucky Strike account now that the government and the medical profession is cracking down on cigarette advertising.

Don Draper is, I guess, the moral center (?) of the show. Amidst the womanizing, drinking, and working, he's the mystery man--no one really knows how he comes up with the great ideas or what he's like away from the office. We'll see--Mr. Moral Center has a mistress and is not averse to "accidentally" kissing a client. Oops. He does look mighty fine in that suit, though. Wowza.

The men don't stand out as much as the women...look at those dresses. I love them. Keeping your figure would definitely be important in working those dresses and those shoes. I know TV is a more stylized version of the real world, but the treatment of the women, and their attitudes toward each other, is fascinating. When the new girl shows up for her first day of work, she's told by several men to shorten the skirt, raise the heels, and tighten the sweater. She learns which men to avoid, which to "play with" and which are the ones that are marriable. One wife is having "nervous problems" at a time when psychiatry is seen as a fad, like last year's candy-pink oven. After running her car into a fire hydrant she worries that someone could be killed, or worse. Worse being their daughter having a scar on her face. Which would be OK for their son, but not their daughter. The neighborhood divorcee is not allowed to have any contact with the husbands--and what makes her even more ostracized is her strange habit of going for walks to clear her head. The children play house, their conversations peppered with phrases like, "I like sleeping on the couch" and "I don't like your tone." Every. single. person. has a cigarette in one hand and a cocktail in the other. At work, in the afternoon--all the time. Men work and chase secretaries. Woman keep a neat house and raise quiet well-mannered children and don't ask questions. No wonder these were the parents the completely freaked when their children discovered the late 60's as teenagers. It's hard to imagine, growing up when I did, what women endured and the roles they played, how dependent so many of them were on men. Any woman who steps out of line is ostracized. For all the talk about "catching a husband" at work, when the new girl tries to get birth control pills, she's given a lecture about not being married and being "that kind of girl." Everyone talks about "that kind of girl" so somehow you're supposed to kind of be "that kind of girl" but just enough to land a husband, but not so much that anyone finds out or notices.

I can't say much for the interior design, though. For all of the lovely garden party florals and twinsets the women wore, the knotty pine and plaid wallpaper screams cheap cabin decor. And given the status of the characters on the show, I don't think it's supposed to be cheap. I can see how it's a short hop to autumn gold and avocado green. Will Pottery Barn decor be this dated in 30 years?

Um...Can This be a Cultural Misunderstanding?

2009-12-05T14:58:00.003+08:00

Photo from Perezhilton.com

This is a publicity still from Famous Cam's upcoming movie. After seeing this kid in person, I can attest to the strength and flexibility he'll be showing. He's not very big for his age, but he was very fit, as in the kind of fit that comes from a lot of time in the gym. It would take a lot of time and dedication to be able to do this!

This is a production T-shirt that Famous Cam received. It's obviously patterened after the photo, but something's been lost...or maybe added...in the translation.

No, that can't be right. It can't be what I think it is...let's take a closer look, shall we?

Sweet fancy Moses, it is. not. anything...that looks like a hand. We've offered to pay him to wear the shirt to school and gauge public (or should I say pubic) opinion. hahahahahahahhaha.

Blessings Abound

2009-11-27T09:21:00.005+08:00

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~Melody Beattie

I love this picture--I never had a Thanksgiving that looked like this, and I suspect that very few American Thanksgivings do look like that. I love the anticipation on the faces...the extended family, the best china, the joy. I am so thankful for home and health, family and friends, work and play. God is good and He has filled our lives with abundance.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

22 Years.

2009-11-23T10:20:00.005+08:00

What did you think the day you got married? Were you nervous? Did you wonder if you were doing the right thing? That you had chosen the right partner? Were you absolutely confident in your path? I was...and I wasn't. I remember thinking that I didn't seem old enough to be making this step. It was all so exciting to accept a ring and plan a wedding, but getting married? And then being married?

I went from being someone's daughter to someone's wife, from the home I grew up in to a home with my husband. I have never known a life of living on my own, of being completely independent. I married who I thought was my soulmate, someone who was meant for me because we were so much in love, so much alike, so much "together."

Twenty-two years, 3 kids, and 3 continents later...I know we are not alike. He is hard-working, I tend to the lazy. He sets goals and accomplishes them, I find myself often pleasantly surprised by how things turned out (or how they didn't). He does what needs to be done first, I go to bed when the going gets rough. He talks it out, I yell it out. He saves, I spend. He's a vault, I may be accused of gossiping. He sleeps with the windows open, I sleep in fleece on the equator.

And yet there is no one else for me. Not since the day I met him 32 years ago. I stood up and said "I do" and never wavered for one instant that he was not the man God intended for me to marry. I read somewhere that it's not about finding a person who create good times with, it's about finding a person that you want to face life with, whatever life may bring. I look back and see things I wish I had done differently, choices I wish I had made, but he's always been part of whatever road I would choose.

I've learned that love is not enough. It's not enough to love someone, or to have the very best intentions. It is determination, hard work, and discipline. It is vigilance and nurturing. It is carrying and being carried. And it's happiness. Relief. Bliss. Peace. Safety. Comfort. Joy. It is, in short, everything I need. Every step of the way has been made better because of who I'm walking with.

Happy anniversary.

Love Reading!

2009-11-20T09:10:00.007+08:00

Oh, I'm back in the saddle again with reading. I LOVELOVELOVE my Kindle! Seriously in a whole lotta love with my Kindle. I wouldn't have bought one if I were in the States--a trusty library card, bookstores, Amazon...what a blessing it is to have access to books! Sinnce we left the States there has been a dearth of book in my life and I've felt it terribly. In Beijing we have lots of readers and a big school library so it was better, but Amazon shipping is a fright and book take up too much space in luggage that needs to be used for tampons, shoes, Parmesan cheese, sunscreen, and chipotle seasoning--you know, the basics. And what have I bothered to read with my new-found portal back into the world of reading? Certainly not the high-minded literature that Edith Wharton promotes over on Lucy's blog.

I unapologetically loved The DaVinci Code. It clunked along in spots and played fast and loose with history, but that's OK. Despite the constant reminders of the protagonist's good looks, I enjoyed the ride. Loved Angels and Demons, too--although it was even clunkier and the ending REEKED. Peee-ew. My favorite scene had them running as the time ticked away and Langdon realizes that they are running uphill underneath Rome on the original streets from the time of Peter. I got goosebumps.

So The Lost Symbol is, I think, the weakest of the 3. Masonic mysteries just don't have the pull of Catholics and Christ. And it yabbers on at the end, over, and over and OVER about the mysteries of life. But it's a fun ride through the history of Washington, DC and the areas of the monuments that are not public and the history that exists out of sight of the nation's capital.

After that, what could be better than a fresh twist on an old classic? I made the mistake of choosing Mr. and Mrs. Darcy this summer (run away from that one, folks) so this time I chose wisely by following the undead. It really is Pride and Prejudice with zombies. What passes for "accomplished" for a woman includes considerable skills in the deadly art of zombie killing. Both Elizabeth and Jane are especially noted for their prowess, while the other Bennett girls manage to do their share of damage when they're not being too silly. It matters, too--a simple ride to Netherfield is fraught with danger as the "unmentionable" crawl out of the woods and hijack passing carriages. Lady Catherine de Borgh goes head to head with Lizzie in a scene that includes ninjas, and I won't tell you who ends up as a zombie (but it was a wonderful set of scenes), although I felt much more satisfied with Mr. Wickham's fate in this version. I liked the study guide at the end, which invites readers to consider whether or not author add gratuitous violence simply to attract more readers and whether the Bennetts Chinese training was in any way inferior to Mr. Darch and Lady Catherine's Japanese-ninja expertise.

I did see that there was a Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters but that seems just ridiculous.

I did redeem myself with Loving Frank, based on the love affair of Frank Lloyd Wright and the building of Taliesin in Wisconsin. What a PAIN artists are. Seriously. At first I was annoyed that it was a tempermental (married) artist and a woman with a wonderful family who was just sure that tempermental artist was freeing her from the monotony of being average. I was angry at how she justified abandoning her children to find herself. As the story unfolded, Mameh becomes not only more independent from Wright, she begins to understand the price she's paid to be who she is now. The ending was sensationalistic, though, and I didn't care for that, but I did come to really like Mameh--her strength showed when she moved as an unmarried woman in with FL Wright into Taliesin in a small town and I think I would have liked to know her if I had lived in Spring Grove, Wisconsin.

Another very good book is The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, also set in Wisconsin. It was an Oprah pick and also the author's first book. Which begs the question, if a guy can write a book like this, what the heck has he been doing all this time?! Definite Hamletian (or maybe it's Shakespearean) overtones. Edgar was born unable to speak. His family breeds dogs, Sawtelle dogs, a passion with Edgar's father and grandfather to create a new breed. Edgar signs to communicate and his situation, which has him watching and observing without communicating, gives him a rapport with the dogs he lives with. When Edgar's father dies suddenly (was it murder? Edgar thinks his uncle Claude might have done something) he receives a vision that troubles him, especially when his uncle moves in and takes over the father's role (see the Hamlet connections. After another tragic accident Edgar runs away with 3 of the dogs. His journey back to himself and his family is painful and there's no happy endings, but it's a beautiful story. I loved the chapters from the dog's point of view...they are so sensory, full of images and smells and memories that are so different from how the human characters see those events. I highly recommend it.