Friday, November 28, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving (Blog #28 11/28/08)


Be thankful that we've elected a president...and no one was killed during the elections.

Be thankful that we're able to elect a president...period.

Be thankful that we sat down with our families.

Be thankful that we sat down to a meal with our families.

Be thankful that we wore clean clothes, drank clean water, and ate clean food.

Be thankful we have clothes, water, and food.

Be thankful we didn't wake wondering what dangers faced us that day--whether it was an overloaded old bus, a man with a gun, or a terrorist with a bomb.

Be thankful your airport wasn't shut down by protestors, your hotels weren't overrun by terrorists, and your family members weren't held hostage.

We know that in everything God works for good, to those who are called according to His purpose. I can't begin to understand why things happen in this world, why my family is blessed beyond measure when so many struggle and suffer. I just know that somehow, in some way, there is a purpose, and there is good that can be found in all of this darkness.

We are thankful beyond words to be able to live in China right now, to be able to celebrate with new friends, to have family to miss, to have our health, our school, and our jobs. So many have so little.

Give thanks with a grateful heart

Give thanks to the Chosen One,

Give thanks, because He's given Jesus Christ, His Son.

And now, let the weak say "I am strong,"

Let the poor say, "I am rich",

Because of what the Lord has done for us.

Give thanks.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Deep Thoughts (Blog #27 11/27/08)

Well (a deep subject for such a shallow mind) I think I need to get away from the more recent posts and back to the matters that deeply concern the world. Namely,





Forget Prop. 8. It's these 2 and all their celebrity co-horts that are ruining the sanctity of marriage. Now "Friends" is on from 8:00 - 9:00. Did you know all they do is drink and have sex and spout one-liners? I blush and then turn. it. off.








What will happen when this little chickie decides to start actually acting 16--which in Hollywoodland will involve any or all of the following: drinking, drugs, flashing your private lady-parts because you've given up underwear, having an affair with your best (girl) friend, several minor car accidents and altercations with photographers, an unplanned pregnancy, and/or an early marriage to revive one's career?











I know she's supposed to be looking sexy, but why do I think she looks like she's trying to do long division in her head?










Doean't the fact that New Kids on the Block are back signal the fact that this guy's ship has sailed? WHY does he keep showing up at parties? WHAT does he do? (no, Dancing with the Stars does not count).





Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Birthday Mark!


Setting the stage...



Blowing out the candles....ALL of them!



This is not a piece of cake--it's the WHOLE cake. Very very very rich. And thick. And luscious.

(Like how Mark's hair used to be. hee hee)


The 4 biggest blessings.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Rand Redux (Blog #26 11/26/08)

My response to a post from an Ayn Rand website has drawn a lot of attention from several people who are either Ayn Rand followers or who at least share similar views about the world you can see the comments here). I suppose it was inevitable that the conversation turned to “you choose to believe in God, something you can’t see or prove, and I choose not to believe in something that has no basis in reality:” That’s an argument that I’ve always tried to stay away from. I know there are hard-core non-believers who have come to know and believe in God. I’m not sure I’m a powerful enough witness with my words. I do strongly believe the verse that says “they shall know us by our acts” and so I do try to have my beliefs reflected through my daily living. I fall short all the time, but I do try. Perhaps my examples may start a process of coming to God for someone down the road.


But that aside, there are issues here on earth that need our attention and that was the reason for my post. Too often the word “rational” or “atheist” is overlaid with this disagreeable notion that being one of those precludes a person from having a generous or charitable spirit. Of course there are hundreds upon thousands of things done every day that change the lives of people all over the world. Many of these acts are done by people who do not believe in God.


Obviously, I am not a follower of Ayn Rand and to claim I know much about her in any depth just because I read a few articles or one of her books would be a gross misstatement. However, there were a few points that stood out that were hard to accept. The first was “What is today’s version of the “bountiful harvest”? It’s the affluence and success we’ve gained. It’s the cars, houses and vacations we enjoy. It’s the life-saving medicines we rely on, the stock portfolios we build, the beautiful clothes we buy and the safe, clean streets we live on. It’s the good life.


How did we get this “bountiful harvest”? Ask any hard-working American; it sure wasn’t by the “grace of God.” It didn’t grow on a fabled “money tree.” We created it by working hard, by desiring the best money can buy and by wanting excellence for ourselves and our loved ones."


I don’t think it’s only Christians or other people of faith who would disagree with that. I have friends who have been subscribing to that idea for years and they feel empty. They feel like there’s something missing in a world where their bank accounts are full, their children are healthy and attend great schools and lots of activities, whose clothes are nice, and who vacation well. The most recent stock market and economy mess has shown that these measures of “bounty” are transient. If people who had those things last year don’t have them today, is it because of a lack of hard work? Is it because they didn’t desire the best or want excellence? Or are there capricious things beyond all of our control that can take all of that away from us in a heartbeat? The comment also ignores the level of privilege that so many of us live with and don’t even realize—the ability to go to college, the ability to see the world through experiences where your efforts have been shaped, supported, and reinforced from a young age. For myself, I was raised to expect to go to college. My early experiences shaped my belief that I can accomplish certain things, that I can persevere, that I can achieve. My parents provided the resources for my education. All those indefinable things have contributed to my place in life today. Contrast that with individuals and groups who have never had the opportunity to hear those messages. We are all impressed when we hear of gang members graduating from college, or an immigrant who achieves remarkable success against great hardships. Isn’t that because we recognize that there is something different about that one person who has overcome those odds? It seems that there should also be a recognition that because we celebrate that one person, we recognize that those skills are not present (or easily present) in most everyone else.


There is a movement among the baby boomer generation of search for meaning. For these men and women, they’ve done all of that acquisition of bounty and are searching for something else. In working for Peace House Foundation, I can attest to the number of people searching for significance by looking to help others. The references I made to Rand’s ideas of charity are not in the original posted article but are from Wikipedia: “Rand did not see charity as a moral duty or a major virtue and held it to be proper only when the recipient is worthy and when it does not involve sacrifice. She opposed all forms of aid given by governments, just as she opposed any other government activity not directed at protecting individual rights.”

I think as members of the human race we do have a duty to help others who are less fortunate—and that sentiment is shared by large numbers of people, both those of faith and those who are not. I believe that that effort does involve a certain sacrifice—people are giving their time, their talents, or their money, all which could be spent on personal activities or material goods. If the word “sacrifice” seems somehow penitent or onerous, I supposed I could use the word “trade-off”. And even by religious standards, charity or giving is not compulsory. I’m never forced or ordered to give. For me, it’s an outgrowth of my beliefs. When I say I am compelled to give, it’s an inner feeling, not an external set of standards I’m trying to meet. People do make some judgments about their giving—a person who would believe, for example, that alcoholism is a personal failing or who see homosexuality as a “bad choice” are unlikely to offer assistance in those areas. People who have lost a loved one to cancer or know someone who benefitted from an organ donation are more likely to feel passionate about those issues. Others, for whatever reason, just touch our hearts. There is no earthly reason why I feel so strongly about orphans in Africa, so much more so than orphans in India, or children in crisis in the US. I just do.

I also do ask/require my children to participate in some of our charitable work. Most of the time they want to, sometimes they lead the effort, sometimes it's just what we do as a family. I don't have a problem with enforcing a set of family values on my children. Left to their own devices, my children would not bathe, brush their teeth, do their homework, practice their instruments, or a host of other things. Good hygiene, academic success, commitment and dedication, organization, planning--those things do not come naturally and as a parent it is my job to set the conditions for, teach, and reinforce those things. I include our faith practice and other things in that pile as well. I understand that there will come a time when my children will make their own decisions about faith, college, giving, and yes, even hygiene. That will be their choice--but as children, they are a part of a family that values certain things and those things are practiced, celebrated, and sometimes mandatory.
The second part of the quote about the government’s responsibility, I also disagree with. It’s not a big surprise that I am liberal on a lot of issues. I do believe that the government has the responsibility to take steps to ensure that all people have access to certain things—good medical care, good schools, good infrastructure—and I am willing to pay more in taxes if that means it will happen. I believe my life is enhanced when those things are in place for everyone. When people don’t have those things, my quality of life declines. Certainly we can debate whether the government is the best suited entity to provide those kinds of things. There are, however, a great great many hardworking people in our country who cannot afford to live in a community with adequate schools, who can’t afford even minimal health care, whose incomes don’t cover the cost of living. We can debate whether “those people” have made good choices. But they are a large part of our population, and when people in a community are not provided for, the community suffers. We all know it would be cheaper to educate a child than to manage the fallout from higher rates of illiteracy, or that it would be cheaper to provide services to keep people out of prison than it is to incarcerate them. I believe that some of those programs are the function of the government.


As I said, I don’t pretend to understand Ayn Rand fully. But I don’t agree with the quotes I’ve used, not because I’m not a rational thinker, and not because I’m a Christian. My faith aside, I just don’t believe that the world works that way, or that the world will be a better place if more people shared the beliefs underpinning those quotes. I can accept that Rand did not believe in God or felt that religion “helped foster a crippling culture acting against individual human happiness and success.” I don’t agree with that statement, although I can understand how people do feel that way about religion, because there are a ton of people making a huge difference in the lives of people, who are campaigning for candidates, who are living for something other than their own personal affluence and position. And it’s outward turning toward others, a generosity of spirit that looks to the welfare of the whole as well as to the success of self, that I found missing from the things I read.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Great Kids (Blog #25 11/25/08)

Life is good. Noah is making progress in school. He's kept up with his cello and is making good progress (I hate to say it out loud, but it's much to our surprise). He looks so funny jumping around trying to get in his soccer uniform and not be late to his lesson before running straight off to soccer. He loves loves loves soccer. He's very good and was picked to play in a match next week against a British school. He's gotten the highest score of the class on all 3 of his Chinese tests--go figure! He's still wearing shorts, but is agreeing to wear shoes/socks, and a hooded sweatshirt at least.




Ava, with her friend Gaby (from Minneapolis), have lots of fun together. Ava is getting better at being less "teacher-like" (read: bossy) during school and is on fire with all her subjects. She's working hard at violin and loves having all her stuffed animals back in her life. She has a new pet fish (a gift from a birthday party) to fuss over and is making new friends every day.


Cameron's Chinese teacher said she's never seen a student his age with such excellent written Chinese skills so early. His teacher reports at conferences were excellent. He's hitting new independent milestones--like taking himself over with a friend to get a haircut yesterday--that do make me glad he's tied to us still via phone. He did a GULU walk to raise money for orphans in Uganda and a 5k run to raise money for education projects in China. He is very committed to his church youth group and wouldn't go to family breakfast with us on Saturday because he wanted to go to Bible study. We are so pleased and proud of his growth in his faith and his interest in learning more. We are blessed with such a great staff at our church that works with teens.


Cameron was at a youth retreat last weekend with several other churches and had a great time. The video is here from YouTube. The guy in the suit with the yellowish wig at 0:34 seconds is our youth group leader and you can catch a glimpse of Cameron at about 1:34 and 1:45 if you look quick quick.

Moving (In) Day Blog #24 (11/24/08)

I'm pooped. But very content. Our containers arrived on Friday and we've been unloading a LOT of stuff. As the boxes were stacking up in the front of the house I had serious doubts about it all fitting in--I still have very serious doubts about some of the things I deemed important enough to have hauled 1/2 way around the world (I'm wondering how it was only in August I thought some of these things were so necessary) I think there was a bit of a reaction about not having a lot of those things in Tanzania and not being able to get them. But when I found a bag of cinnamon-scented Christmas pinecones, well, there's really no explanation for that.

We did have 2 containers--one from the States and one from Tanzania--in order to get the majority of our stuff consolidated in one place. Here is my US container.

Here is my Tanzanian container. It is SO. TYPICALLY. AFRICAN.


It is obvious they just chucked everything into the container--no wooden crates to hold things steady--so the stuff rolled around all over the place. It's amazing that nothing was broken! It was also stored for a time in Dar es Salaam, very evidently in a non-climate controlled place. Everything was mildewy.The first load out of the laundry smelled as bad as when it went in...I found some enzyme stuff that you use for cloth diapers and that seems to be doing the trick. Our mattresses, however, are still on the balconies, airing out in the pristine Beijing air. I think they'll be ready to use by tomorrow.

This was Friday afternoon. Truthfully, I left the whole thing at 5:00 to go Tibetan furniture-shopping (you know, a typical every-day kind of thing. And what better way to celebrate getting huge crates of stuff than by going out and, you know, buying some more?)


This is Sunday night. Voila! I can't believe how great it looks! I can't believe how comfortable my couch is! I can't believe how great my TZ stuff looks in here!
It really does feel like home. I don't understand it exactly, but I'm not fighting the feeling. FINALLY, I have a comfortable couch on my insomnia nights. FINALLY, there is soft and comfy carpet for laying on and watching TV. I just LOVE. IT. ALL.
We are having Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday with another new family. Apparently a lot of people go to restaurants, but that just doesn't seem right to me. I am going to be so happy to be eating in my home. I loved the Thanksgivings in Tanzania--warm weather, a place where food was actually secondary to the company--but I'm happy to spend it at my table this year. We thought the containers were still a`week or so away so we started painting last week. You can see where Mark got with the trim when I said, "Yikes, this is so not the color." Of course, I didn't have the paint chip with me when I bought it so I guessed at the right color and I figured, well, that's what I get. Then while Mark was painting I found the chip, and guess what? It's the right color. But oh-so-wrong. Cameron walked in, took one look and said, "Man, that color's sick" so you know it's not working when a 13 year old has an opinion! It's called "Rosebush" and it's supposed to be a taupe with kind of a rosy undertone. It's actually a brownish-muddy mauve. I doubt I'll be able to do anything about it before Saturday, so we'll just have to live with it a couple more weeks.
Stay tuned for Tibetan-furniture-shopping pics. I bought a table for Mark's office (he has the ugliest office in the whole school, where everyone else's is full of great Chinest furniture) and an end table for the house. Tibetan furniture is ornately painted, so a little goes a long way, at least for me.
Oh, and all of this transpired on our wedding anniversary. Twenty-one years. *sigh* Someday I'll get it together. We were robbed last year about a month before our 20th anniversary (we were planning to go to Zanzibar) and we were all too freaked out to leave the kids with anyone, so missed that one, too. Pathetic, really.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Thanksgiving--To Whom? (Blog # 23 11/23/08)

Somehow I found this on a site about a group that studies and promotes the writings of Ayn Rand called Atlasphere. Ayn Rand was a Russian writer/philosopher who emigrated to the United States. According to her philosophy of Objectivism, Rand believed According to Rand, the individual "must exist for his own sake, neither sacrificing himself to others nor sacrificing others to himself. The pursuit of his own rational self-interest and of his own happiness is the highest moral purpose of his life." She also "did not see charity as a moral duty or a major virtue and held it to be proper only when the recipient is worthy and when it does not involve sacrifice." (from Wikipedia) This, apparently, was her take on Thanksgiving...




Ayn Rand described Thanksgiving as “a typically American holiday ... its
essential, secular meaning is a celebration of successful production. It is a
producers’ holiday. The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant
consumption is the result and reward of production.” She was right. This country
was mostly uninhabited and wild when our forefathers began to develop the land
and build spectacular cities, shaping what is now the wealthiest nation in the
world.

It’s the American spirit to overcome challenges, create great
achievements, and enjoy prosperity. We uniquely recognize that production leads
to wealth and that we must dedicate ourselves to the pursuit of life, liberty
and happiness. It’s no accident that Americans have a holiday called
Thanksgiving — a yearly tradition when we pause to appreciate the “bountiful
harvest” we’ve reaped. What is today’s version of the “bountiful harvest”? It’s
the affluence and success we’ve gained. It’s the cars, houses and vacations we
enjoy. It’s the life-saving medicines we rely on, the stock portfolios we build,
the beautiful clothes we buy and the safe, clean streets we live on. It’s the
good life.

How did we get this “bountiful harvest”? Ask any hard-working American; it
sure wasn’t by the “grace of God.” It didn’t grow on a fabled “money tree.” We
created it by working hard, by desiring the best money can buy and by wanting
excellence for ourselves and our loved ones. What we don’t create ourselves, we
trade value for value with those who have the goods and services we need, such
as our stockbrokers, hairdressers and doctors. We alone are responsible for our
wealth. We are the producers and Thanksgiving is our holiday. So, on
Thanksgiving, why don’t we thank ourselves and those producers who make the good life possible?

I found this article to be so sad. I know that not everyone shares my beliefs and my faith, but I thought this article was so self-centered and mean. By her argument anyone who does not have a "bountiful harvest" is what--lazy? I guess it fits in with her ideas about charity and people being deserving of any help.


Today a man who has been preaching in China since the 1970's spoke at church. He talked about life in the 70's during the Cultural Revolution, about the churches starting up again, about the people who waited for so long, who walked so far to be able to worship. He talked about churches that gave everything they had to help others during the earthquake relief efforts, and then raised money to help again. And again. How is it that Rand's response is better for the world than people who are willing to reach out and help?



I have so much to be thankful for--and after reading this I am doubly determined to direct my thanks to where I know it's deserved.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Great Australian Exports (Blog #22 11/22/08)

Tim Tams--A chocolately luscious breamy crunchy confection.
Pavlova--A heavenly meringue, ice cream, and fruit confection
Koalas--A furry adorable irresistable confection

Hugh Jackman
Or, as he is known around the house here, the "Singing Wolverine." I'd love to make it easy for you to watch him in action, but sigh--did I mention Blogger is less than cooperative. So you'll have to click here and here to see him in action in one of my favorite musicals, Oklahoma.

I HATE BLOGGER (Blog #21 11/21/08)

Today, Blogger has decided NOT to accept any of the pictures or video I've uploaded. So, this is all you get.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Real Live Author! (Blog #21 11/21/08)


That's what Ava said about Eric Kimmel's visit to ISB this week. "He's a real writer and he gets paid and he doesn't have to do his own illustrations!" This snippet from his bio gives a clue as to why he was such a hit.


He headed west, to Easton, Pennsylvania where he graduated from Lafayette College in 1967 with a bachelor’s degree in English literature. Eric worked as an elementary school teacher at P.S. 68 in Manhattan while working on his masters degree at New York University. From there he went to the US. Virgin Islands where he worked as a teacher and librarian. He spent a lot of time lying on St. Thomas’ beautiful beaches.


Returning to reality, he finished his Ph.D. degree in Education at the University of Illinois in 1973. He taught courses in language arts, children’s literature, and storytelling at Indiana University at South Bend in South Bend, Indiana from 1973 to 1978, and from 1978 to 1993 at Portland State University in Portland, Oregon. Eric retired from college teaching in 1993 to become a full-time writer.


Eric travels throughout the United States and the world visiting schools, talking about his books, and telling stories. His first love is sharing stories from different countries and cultures.

The elementary school spent the past few weeks reading Kimmel books, decorating the halls, writing their own stories, entering hat designing contests, and getting ready to host a "real live writer." Eric has kind of a specialty of retelling tales from around the world, especially the Anansi trickster stories from West Africa and traditional Judaic tales (his book Herschel and Hannukah Goblins won the Caldecott Medal) as well as stories from China, Mexico, Russia, Japan, and the United States. Each class got 15 minutes or so with him to ask questions about being a writer and have their books signed.


One thing that I do like about ISB is that it places a huge emphasis on writing and reading. It is a literature-rich school and every teacher I meet talks about books. Reading books from different genres is widely encouraged and students are actively taught ways to interact with and respond to books. It's very common to see the kids come in from recess, shuck off their coats, and plop into their desks with a book. About 40 minutes is given to independent reading every day (as well as 40 minutes of writing). Still, there's nothing like having an actual author in your midst to really fire up the kids. I heard several of them talking about how they thought it was hard to come up with ideas for stories, but they had lots of ideas about how to retell a traditional fairy tale. It was a great week!

Why I Teach (Blog #20 11/20/08)


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.




Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence.

I ask you...what could be better than spending your day with people who think like this?!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Skip the G&T Post


...and read down for today's post. I started it last night and Blogger decided to post it using its own system of genius.

Also, note that I fully intend the post to be both the first and last time I waste blog space on a picture of Victoria Beckham.

OOOH, unless we're going to get all snarky about skinny plastic people with oh-so-obvious boob jobs. Then count me in.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

HELP me. PLEASE.





I WANT SOME OF THIS.












AND SOME OF THIS.






BECAUSE ALL I'VE GOT IS THIS.





I AM JUST SAYING. I NEED IT.

Money Can Buy You Happiness (Blog #19 11/19/08)


Karen posted on a radio shopping program where the hosts were talking about these great bags at “only” $200 each. She wondered how that could be affordable and how far out of the loop she was. I agreed—but ventured the question that for many people their budget allowed them to spend $200 on a bag with the same effect that my budget allows me to spend $25 on a bag. If the person is OK with that bag, and the purchase fits into their budget, then isn’t it OK?

Then I started thinking about that. If a $200 bag is OK, what about a $500 bag? What about a $2,000 bag? There are people who can drop that on a bag and have it fit their budget the way my $25 bag does. We all know celebrities who buy three or four at that price. At what point is whatever it is “too much?”

I think money has 2 values—the actual purchasing power, and the meaning that we assign to it. That meaning stems from personal beliefs, values, experiences, and priorities. People that get caught up with wanting the latest item or somehow feeling neglected because they “can’t afford” something are perhaps missing something. I’m often the captain of this boat and I know I’m really out of whack when the little voice in my head says, “you deserve it.” I work hard and I have been blessed with jobs, good education, good health, and the ability to make decisions. But I really don’t “deserve” a car or a vacation or a necklace or a bag--no matter how hard I work, I’m not entitled to something. I can choose to treat myself. I can choose to buy something. And many of the things I say I “can’t afford” I really can. If I changed some other things.

Like how much we give to church. Man, I could have a nice car or a great vacation on that money each year. Or how much we save. Or the jobs we do—move out of education and we could have a newer house or a cabin. I could shop at stores and not limit myself to the clearance rack. But I wouldn’t be happy, and the things that do matter a lot to me wouldn’t be a part of my life. Instead of thinking “I can’t afford it” I try to think “I choose to spend my money in other ways.” My very good African friend just came to America and after visiting the Mall of America she said, “It must be what Heaven is like.” To her eyes, I can see how she’d think that. How could I explain what all that consumerism does to your psyche, how it alters your perception of what you really need, how to so many people MOA represents perhaps the opposite of Heaven?
We decided a long time ago to buy a house on just one income. It’s not fancy and I’m generally irritated by small bathroom and bedrooms and whatever else catches my attention. It’s the same house, though, that has provided us with great neighbors and the ability for me to stay home for several years and still save and make ends meet. I see a new(er) SUV and think, “oh, that would be so nice”, then I run the numbers and know what I’d have to trade off and so I think my old van is OK. I want my children to pursue jobs in education, social work, or development fields without the burden of thousands of dollars of student loans on their backs, and so we try to save to offset that. Knowing that we have priorities clearly defined makes that easier, and it becomes much easier to talk to our children about our lives and lifestyle when they see other families having more and doing more.

Before we left the States we were living on a cash only budget. It took a couple months to get the numbers right, but we charged gas and groceries and that was it. We didn’t even use a checkbook. I withdrew money and paid cash from each budget category for what we needed. At the end of the pay period money that hadn’t been spent could be applied to areas where I might be short (my preference) or stashed away for an unforeseen expense or treat (Mark’s preference). Either way, people looked at me like I was Amish or something, but you know what? IT WORKED. I stopped overspending. Mark stopped bothering me about every purchase and whether we could afford it. It took discipline, something I have very little of, but it was great. Now that we are more settled in here we are going back to it again.

We are realizing that by living and working overseas we are able to save a lot more money than we could in the States. It was not the reason that we left to work in Tanzania or come to Beijing, and it would not be the reason that we would stay if it wasn’t working out for us, but it has become something that we’ve realized will be a big benefit. The difficulties of living far away from dear friends and family and the ongoing issues of living in a different culture right now are worth the financial benefits and the opportunities to see much more of the world than we could have ever done. But our first priority always is keeping a healthy balance between work and family—we’d leave if it wasn’t the right place for us, knowing that God would open the necessary doors for us, as He did when we decided to leave Tanzania.

So I do think, in a way, that money can buy happiness. If you can identify your priorities and work a plan that’s in line with those values, your money will bring you a sense of satisfaction and contentment because you are using in a way that allows you to achieve your ultimate goals and meet your needs. If not, you’re likely to feel pulled and pushed about what you need and what you want, and feel less than satisfied.

(Someday I am going to take every bit of this to heart and become the perfectly balanced person I need to be. Someday.)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Christmas Around the World (Blog #18 11/18/08)


So after quite a bit of hemming and hawing and thinking, we are headed to Thailand for the Christmas break. Initially we were up for beaches and warm sun, but finally decided to head to Chiang Mai in the north. What we found out about travel in Asia is that summers are unbearably hot and winters are either very cold or the monsoon season, so several areas we were interested in beach-wise were not good choices. (If you are planning on vacationing, most places would say April and October are the prime months). We wanted to go to a place where we could stay put for a week and not have to pick up and move around a lot to see the sights. I think Chiang Mai will be perfect. We found a hotel that allowed us all to stay in one room (a big cost-saver, although a bit tricky with bedtimes, although I guess if we all went to bed at the same time, I'd actually be rested!). I think Thailand will be really interesting to visit, a country I think we'll want to return to. Some of the things on our "would-like-to-do" list include:

*A 2 km zipline 80 ft above the ground, connected by hanging bridges (SHUT UP, all of you who know me--I am going to do this!)




*An elephant ride through the jungle to a waterfall, followed by a bamboo raft down the river
*Visiting an elephant "farm" where elephants are raised and trained to do work

*Whitewater rafting
*Visiting temples
*A city tour on mopeds
*Hiking to a village to learn about traditional life and food
*Shopping at the night market
*Oh, let's face it...shopping at any market.
*Arts and crafts where we can learn to do batiks

Surprisingly the kids were less than thrilled about going anywhere. I know we need it, though, but they were pretty adamant about a non-touring schedule. A lot of these activities are 1/2 day so the more energetic can do something else, while others can head to the pool. The weather is supposed to be warm enough for shorts during the day, but cool at night--weather I'm looking forward to now that we're back into this thing called winter!

Thailand, Cambodia, Malaysia--all places I would not put on my "I'd like to vacation there" but I'm so glad we're going to have that opportunity!

What's a Mother to do? (Blog #17 11/17/08)


The temperature today in Beijing was about 38. This is how middle child was dressed today. And every day. To the dismay of everyone who sees him. This is different than Tanzania, where the mamas would cluck at kids dressed like this when it was 55. It's cold, goshdarnit!
I did tell him that starting this week he had to wear a long-sleeved shirt and a sweatshirt and gloves and socks and shoes (no more short-sleeved tees and crocs). If he did that I'd lay off the shorts. But I secretly crossed my fingers when I said that.
I know that if he's cold he'll put on pants (he hasn't worn a pair of pants for 3 years. Really.) and one group of good parents will say, let the kid get to that point on his own. There's another group of good parents that would say, the kid needs to learn what is appropriate dress and now is the time when we wear suitable clothes. I often am in the former (more from being distracted or laziness rather than intentional thoughtful parenting) but I'm moving toward the latter group. It's not so much the cold as it is how dry-dry-dry the air is. I'm worried that his skin will get dry and itchy and cracked and bleedy and then it's my problem, too. My secret nefarious plan was to say "pants now" next week and hide the shorts. WWYD?
(I know this is anal-retentive, but I do know how to paragraph and it just drives me nuts when Blogger won't do what I'm doing--and when it shows up right in the preview pane!)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Celebrate What You Feel! (Blog #16 11/16/08)

I saw this on another blog and the caption was simply entitled "What's right with public schools." I'm not sure what that means--I personally think there's a LOT right with public schools, but that's another subject.

What I loved about this was the emotion on the kids' faces. There they are, sitting in an auditorium, performing for nobody. Just them and their teacher. And each and every one of them is singing like they're performing! The emotion on each of their faces is priceless. I don't know what that teacher was doing, but he got it 100% right with this group. Enjoy!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Today's Damage Report (Post #15 11/15/08)



*1 small pony necklace = 30 RMB (Ava)

*1 pair cool skeleton gloves = 20 RMB (Noah)

*1 Pokemon Pearl DS game = 80 RMB (Noah)

*2 "Ralph Lauren" cashmere sweaters = 240 RMB

*2 silver "Tiffany" rings = 40 RMB

*1 antique coin necklace + earrings = 120 RMB

*1 pair silver earrings = 20 RMB

Grand Total = 550 RMB = about $85

Not too shabby!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Is He Too Young? Am I Too Old? Part 2

hee hee. See what I did there? I got 2 posts out of 1 title. Oh, the cleverness of me.



Seriously, though, Mark did go to the 8th grade planning meeting, where a number of moms (he was the only dad) raised the same concerns. Turns out the information that we (and other families) had heard was older, and that things were much different. Several of the moms also shied away from the word "formal" as well, feeling it was inappropriate for this age. The general agreement was that it was a "bash" or a "celebration", that it would be at a hotel in our area, and that it would be themed--Hawaiian, etc. and not a structured dance-type thing. Mark said the principal is quite sensible and is steering the process to a place that is age-appropriate, all-inclusive (last year only 3 kids didn't come), and fun.


Whew--moral crisis averted!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Book Rant (Blog #14 11/14/08)

So I have a hypothetical friend. Let’s call her “Karen.” Who has hypothetically gifted kids in a hypothetically gifted program. If you are the parent of a gifted child, finding suitably challenging curriculum and materials to meet that child’s need is an ongoing struggle, no matter where they go to school. We have gone through phases with Cameron where he wanted more from his reading, but we didn’t/don’t feel it would be appropriate to have him read some of the books he had his eye on. Some we have done as read-alouds, where I’ve edited out the too-mature passages. Finding something mature enough to meet his intellectual curiosity at be suitable for his emotional/social level and our values…it’s tough.

Our school uses a reading assessment that takes into account not only the student’s reading fluency and comprehension, but assesses how much the student reads, the number of genres they read from, and their ability to interact with (orally and in writing) and understand the underlying themes and messages of what they’re reading. Even in first grade. What it means is that students who are often considered stellar readers actually score a bit lower—someone who can read a book and tell you what’s going on can miss all the richness and depth and subtlety of a book. I saw that in the last year or so with Cameron, who was assigned to read a couple books that I thought were pretty easy…until he was asked to discuss themes of whether people are inherently good or evil, or the response of towards a community that knowingly turns a blind eye on children perpetuating racial crimes against another group. Suddenly the books weren’t so simple.

Which brings me to “the list.” Not a lot of things get me fired up, but boy, this one did. This list is from the website of Entertainment Weekly. It’s titled “The 100 New Classic Books.” I don’t have a problem with that. I have read probably ½ of them. Most of them I’ve really enjoyed. The few that I haven’t, I have struggled with themes that really challenged me or my beliefs. Some of them I found challenging in terms of their structure. What I was appalled at was that this list was given to 8th grade students for their reading list for book reports. I only recognized 6 on the list that are considered adolescent literature. Here’s a sample of the more eye-opening titles:

Presumed Innocent (Scott Turow) A murder/courtroom drama involving a violent murder/rape and a prosecutor (possible murderer?) who is sexually obsessed with the victim.

The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down (Ann Fadiman) Nothing wrong with the themes in this book. I loved it, but it’s very difficult to read. It requires an understanding of culture, of religion, of insurmountable differences between two groups of people. I have read it at least 4 times and each time I’m challenged about my own beliefs about culture.

The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver) Again, nothing wrong per se, but the themes of culture, of missionary work, are quite deep. The book’s structure, also, which adds to that richness and depth, might be difficult to unlock.

The Things They Carried (Tim O’Brien) This was one I didn’t like. The “things they carried” is a metaphor for the baggage of Vietnam soldiers. Their stories—of sexual activity, of insane drug use, of some of the atrocities committed by the men—may not be fodder for the middle school set.

Naked (David Sedaris) One of my favorite essayists. In high school some of his essays would be great reads. He is gay, he went through a period of serious drug use, and there are quite a few themes that made me put my copy out of Cameron’s reach.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (Helen Fielding) It was fun. In my world, harmless. But I’m not interested in my son reading about Bridget’s perpetual cigarette and calorie counting and obsessing over sex when she’s not having sex.

On Writing (Stephen King) My favorite popular author. I love this book and recommend it to anyone who is interested in writing. If you don’t mind his off-hand comments about his sex life and his liberal use of the “f” word. Really pretty liberal use.

Blindness (José Saramago) This very disturbing book (in which everyone goes blind for some unknown reason and people are herded into mental hospitals and schools and basically left to forage like animals) features very violent graphic rape scenes.

I suppose one could argue that “kids today” don’t find classics interesting, that they aren’t easily accessible to kids. Well, whatEVER. Classics are interesting, they are timeless, they are great—that’s what makes them classics. But they require initiation, to read them and discuss them with someone who’s on fire for them. Not all classics are interesting to all students, of course. But I’m pretty sure that in the annals of American and British literature alone there must be 100 books that could fill the job of turning kids onto good literature, challenging their beliefs, and tackling literary themes and styles in a way that makes kids say “wow.” After all, they can grab the books on this list at the library any old time—but they probably wouldn’t. Because these books aren’t the sorts that kids read. Or should read.

What about the Newberrys? The Caldecotts? Books that librarians and educators have recommended for years? Books with great themes, great action, great stories. Books that don’t curl my hair when I think of 12-14 year olds reading them.

I suspect strongly that the teacher has not read many of these books. I don’t understand why a book list of popular novels from Entertainment Weekly would be a good substitute for lists compiled by educators and librarians. I wonder if the thinking was “bright kids need more mature reading.” Bright kids need more challenging reading. Bright kids (like all children) need material that challenges them intellectually and creatively and still meets them at their social and emotional level. A gifted child may be able to read the books, but is probably years and years away from having the ability to put the information into a proper context. There are so many wonderful books that can stimulate, challenge, and entertain students. Why push them into themes and content they are not ready for? Some of these books are, in my opinion, “R” rated books. Some of them were made into “R” rated movies. And again, I reiterate I have no problem with the books themselves. It's that this list was considered suitable for the 13-14 year old set. For comparison, here's a list of books geared to this specific age level.

A novel I read once had a young girl asking her father a question about sex, something that she had overheard in the street, something that was beyond her “need to know” at that age. The father looked down at his daughter and at his traveling case by his feet and asked her to pick up his case. The young girl tried but couldn’t. “It’s too heavy for me,” she said. “Yes,” said her father. “Some things are too heavy for you to carry. You must trust me to carry some things for you until you are ready to bear them yourself.” That’s how I feel about books. And movies. And TV. And music. And 8th grade formal dances. It’s not about sheltering them, or hiding them away from reality. It’s about exposing them to that reality in appropriate ways.