Another Cultural "What the...?!"

(Hey, I tried to paragraph. It's not like I LIKE the way this looks...)

IKEA. Love the meatballs, hate the layout. It's some twisted psychological marketing scheme to make you wander and wander until you are so tired that just about anything looks good, even if it doesn't sound good (I'm not so sure that things like "tryvvtynsk" are real words). Generally, I would prefer to buy my stuff elsewhere, but there really are some great things at IKEA. And now, living in China, IKEA is a great place to pick up things--no haggling, you can pay with a credit card, the standard of quality is as it is at all IKEAs.

The Chinese are starting to love IKEA, too. Where we think of it as inexpensive, IKEA is not so much when you compare it to average Chinese salaries. I think there's something about a lot of the furniture there that appeals to a more streamlined minimalist aesthetic. And, they also love the no-haggle and quality aspects as well.

The Chinese also love other things about IKEA. Going to IKEA is like going to the Mall of America. Or, like me taking my family to the Forbidden City. You might buy something; in fact, you probably will, just like you'd buy a souvenir somewhere. This is a place where people list "going to malls" as a favorite activitye with their children. IKEA is destination entertainment, folks. Pack a lunch, load up the car, and let's go!

These shots are off the internet and are tame compared to what I see when I finally break down and realize I HAVE to go there. These people may have collapsed from exhaustion (not likely, given how sloooooooooooowly people wander right. down. the. middle. of. the. aisles), but they're more likely having a little siesta after lunch or tea. You know, it's a long walk from the kitchen displays where you unpacked an ENTIRE PICNIC FOR SEVEN PEOPLE over to sofas. The packed lunch is likely to be in addition to the exotic fare at the cafeteria (don't go in there without a helment and a cup, people), although the store does tip their cultural hat and offer Chinese food as well.

This is not an ad for anything. This is a very common photo op for a woman who fancies herself to be a model. She has probably got her boyfriend snapping dozens of these shots. She's just out and about enjoying the day. Sometimes these shots involve attractive women. Sometimes they don't. You can find people posing with great seriousness all over Beijing, but where else can you go to find ready made sets, all under one roof?

Spend 4 or 5 hours at IKEA and you'll be pooped. Trust me on this one, because the 1 hour I spend there (not including the 40 minutes of backed up traffic to get there and another 20 or so to navigate the parking--and that's when I get there before the store even opens) feels like a week. Looky-loos wander at a snail's pace. Often they're looking at the ceiling for some reason. Maybe it's got some mesmerizing support beams or something, I don't know. When you see something you like, make sure you have all your friends and family members around to examine it and talk about it. Be sure to stand in the middle of the aisle. Even better if you have a cart and you can park it sideways. If it's really great, take pictures of it. Take a picture of the lamp on the shelf. Take a picture of the lamp while you're holding it. Smile! Now flash the peace sign. Now look sad. Oooh, ooh, now look happy again! Pretend to hit your friend with it. Now, let's get a group shot! You can see why you'd be tuckered out.

Um....never buy floor samples. She's just checking her messages, but couples will pull off their shoes and crawl in for a nap. Moms will change their babies on beds and changing tables. Just think before you sit. Or touch.

Ava and I went on Sunday to pick out some pillows for her new room setup. She was quite put out at what she saw. "Don't they know how rude that is? What if a person wanted to see something and they can't because someone's just sitting or sleeping or something on it?" she said (she being the person who wanted to see a tent cover for her bed, but couldn't because a woman was up there trying to get a baby to sleep). I pointed out that "rude" applies when someone breaks a rule of expected behavior. The people aren't being rude because there's no rule against doing these things. "Well," she sniffed, "they better figure out the rules if they come to America or something, because it won't be okay THERE, that's for sure."

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Cultural sensitivity. One of the blessings of living overseas.