Money Can Buy You Happiness (Blog #19 11/19/08)

Karen posted on a radio shopping program where the hosts were talking about these great bags at “only” $200 each. She wondered how that could be affordable and how far out of the loop she was. I agreed—but ventured the question that for many people their budget allowed them to spend $200 on a bag with the same effect that my budget allows me to spend $25 on a bag. If the person is OK with that bag, and the purchase fits into their budget, then isn’t it OK?

Then I started thinking about that. If a $200 bag is OK, what about a $500 bag? What about a $2,000 bag? There are people who can drop that on a bag and have it fit their budget the way my $25 bag does. We all know celebrities who buy three or four at that price. At what point is whatever it is “too much?”

I think money has 2 values—the actual purchasing power, and the meaning that we assign to it. That meaning stems from personal beliefs, values, experiences, and priorities. People that get caught up with wanting the latest item or somehow feeling neglected because they “can’t afford” something are perhaps missing something. I’m often the captain of this boat and I know I’m really out of whack when the little voice in my head says, “you deserve it.” I work hard and I have been blessed with jobs, good education, good health, and the ability to make decisions. But I really don’t “deserve” a car or a vacation or a necklace or a bag--no matter how hard I work, I’m not entitled to something. I can choose to treat myself. I can choose to buy something. And many of the things I say I “can’t afford” I really can. If I changed some other things.

Like how much we give to church. Man, I could have a nice car or a great vacation on that money each year. Or how much we save. Or the jobs we do—move out of education and we could have a newer house or a cabin. I could shop at stores and not limit myself to the clearance rack. But I wouldn’t be happy, and the things that do matter a lot to me wouldn’t be a part of my life. Instead of thinking “I can’t afford it” I try to think “I choose to spend my money in other ways.” My very good African friend just came to America and after visiting the Mall of America she said, “It must be what Heaven is like.” To her eyes, I can see how she’d think that. How could I explain what all that consumerism does to your psyche, how it alters your perception of what you really need, how to so many people MOA represents perhaps the opposite of Heaven?
We decided a long time ago to buy a house on just one income. It’s not fancy and I’m generally irritated by small bathroom and bedrooms and whatever else catches my attention. It’s the same house, though, that has provided us with great neighbors and the ability for me to stay home for several years and still save and make ends meet. I see a new(er) SUV and think, “oh, that would be so nice”, then I run the numbers and know what I’d have to trade off and so I think my old van is OK. I want my children to pursue jobs in education, social work, or development fields without the burden of thousands of dollars of student loans on their backs, and so we try to save to offset that. Knowing that we have priorities clearly defined makes that easier, and it becomes much easier to talk to our children about our lives and lifestyle when they see other families having more and doing more.

Before we left the States we were living on a cash only budget. It took a couple months to get the numbers right, but we charged gas and groceries and that was it. We didn’t even use a checkbook. I withdrew money and paid cash from each budget category for what we needed. At the end of the pay period money that hadn’t been spent could be applied to areas where I might be short (my preference) or stashed away for an unforeseen expense or treat (Mark’s preference). Either way, people looked at me like I was Amish or something, but you know what? IT WORKED. I stopped overspending. Mark stopped bothering me about every purchase and whether we could afford it. It took discipline, something I have very little of, but it was great. Now that we are more settled in here we are going back to it again.

We are realizing that by living and working overseas we are able to save a lot more money than we could in the States. It was not the reason that we left to work in Tanzania or come to Beijing, and it would not be the reason that we would stay if it wasn’t working out for us, but it has become something that we’ve realized will be a big benefit. The difficulties of living far away from dear friends and family and the ongoing issues of living in a different culture right now are worth the financial benefits and the opportunities to see much more of the world than we could have ever done. But our first priority always is keeping a healthy balance between work and family—we’d leave if it wasn’t the right place for us, knowing that God would open the necessary doors for us, as He did when we decided to leave Tanzania.

So I do think, in a way, that money can buy happiness. If you can identify your priorities and work a plan that’s in line with those values, your money will bring you a sense of satisfaction and contentment because you are using in a way that allows you to achieve your ultimate goals and meet your needs. If not, you’re likely to feel pulled and pushed about what you need and what you want, and feel less than satisfied.

(Someday I am going to take every bit of this to heart and become the perfectly balanced person I need to be. Someday.)