SO Not Innocent.

OK, I’ve already gone out on a limb with my opinions about Mama Mia (to repeat: despite Meryl Streep and delightfully bouncy music, one of the WORST movies I’ve ever seen and don’t comment on that to me because that ship has sailed), so I have few reservations about expressing my opinions about the move Twilight. Notice that I did not say “the book” which I haven’t read and probably won’t get around to it (another ship that has sailed). I knew the general premise of the book, and I knew that one of the big draws was the “romantic and chaste” relationship between Edward and Bella. The secondary draw, I presume, is the idea of forbidden love, of him wanting to protect her, of her being drawn to a family and life that she can’t realistically be a part of.

And here’s where the problems start. I’ve heard it compared to Romeo and Juliet, a romantic story of forbidden/denied love. I wonder how many of those people who make those comparisons remember that THEY DIED. HORRIBLY. They were not victims of unrequited love so much as of impulsive adolescence, of impetuosity, of a failure to think of the “what ifs” in life. Obviously, R and J is far more complex and it is unfair to reduce a masterpiece to such a simplistic explanation, but I saw many of the same behaviors in the movie. How quickly Bella is willing to give herself to Edward. How ardently she claims to want to be a part of his world. How she “just knows” they are destined to be together forever. A love for the ages—or reckless impulsivity?

And as for chaste—HOLY HELL. I found very little about that movie to be chaste or innocent. Many of their tender moments take place lying down. Together. On a bed. Alone, because her father seems to have beer and gun cleaning on his mind and a misplaced assurance that his daughter is mature enough to manage her own life independently. Over and over Edward claims to restrain himself so he doesn’t hurt Bella. The recurring theme between them seems to be “how far can we go before we go too far?” You sure don’t need to date a vampire to know that playing against that line is a recipe for danger. How many teens play that game—with drinking, or drugs, or with relationships with the opposite sex, “knowing” they are in control, “trusting” someone because they “know” that other person loves them.

I’m sorry, but this is not a movie my daughter would be seeing anytime soon. This is one of those movies (and books) that are pitched to the young adults but are being read and watched by 5th graders. It’s simply way out of line. And for those young adult girls—those girls (read: 99.9% of them) who want, romance, want to be taken care of and protected, to be wanted—what message does it send? That it’s romantic to repeatedly place yourself in a position of vulnerability, to test the waters over and over to see how close you can get that forbidden zone and still be safe? That is one dangerous message.

I suppose that the visual spin the movie puts on the story may be different from the book. That would certainly be the explanation for her acting skills (which seem to primarily consist of very little affect—she’s more dismal than the vampires—and a fluttering of the lips as if she’s trying to search for the right word—which is employed during passion, fear, uncertainty, or ordering at a restaurant. In fact, everything about the movie was dismal—I understand Forks gets a lot of rain, but even if you’ve been alive for a hundred years, you can’t find anything to crack a smile about?

I’m taking a pass on any more of this series. Am I being a little over-Amish or something? I mean, I am the person who lets her 10 year old (ok, fine, he was 8) watch Lord of the Rings. And X-Men. So sometimes I surprise myself by how some things really alarm me. Maybe it's that one is fantasy and this is a thinly veiled metaphor for hot teen sex. I don't know.