Living in Luxury with Househelp.

I have long since learned not to comment on having a housekeeper. It is a luxury, I freely admit, a luxury that most anyone would want. What was surprisingly difficult to learn was that it's a lot more work to have someone in your house than you might think--obviously not more work than doing the work yourself, don't get me wrong. But it is a challenge. It takes a LOT of time to train someone to the way you like things done--it's not an automatic assumption that raw chicken and apples shouldn't be cut with the same knife, or that toilet paper is not the best thing to use to clean a toilet--and when the "right" way is a way that is not something they experience or believe or do in their own culture or lives, it does take time to get that settled. Even if the ayi has been working for other Western families before.

If your ayi cooks Western foods (as ours does--I had tons of recipes translated into Chinese), she is never cooking food that she herself eats. You think you're coming home to a delicious meal, only to find out that an ingredient was substituted, or she forgot that 30 minutes is too long to cook pasta, or 1/2 cup of milk doesn't cut it when 2 cups were needed. We have a great ayi, but sitting down to dinner can be a surprise once in awhile.

Virtually all ayis clean like fiends--seriously, you can do surgery on my floors and that's with 3 kids and 2 pets! But when things get put away...it can be a challenge to locate them. Where would Xiao think was a logical place for that permission slip? Most of them are very good at laundry, too--although laundry often gets put away in different people's drawers. Every couple weeks one of the boys has NO socks or underwear. Mark's belt goes missing for several days. Where is that t-shirt? It all turns up--eventually.

Many ayis are hired to do primary child-care. Raising Chinese children is VASTLY different than raising an American/British/Australian, etc. child. Imagine trying to communicate all of that without speaking Chinese.

My point being (and I'm not whining) is that you give up a lot of control in many ways, and (unlike what I thought initially) I can't ever really give up monitoring things. But still, I pay an honest wage for an honest day's work. Our ayi works from 10-6 Monday through Friday. She shops for all household products and vegetables. She cooks dinner every night. She takes care of the dog walking. She cleans and does laundry and calls for repairs when needed. She is available for 2 nights a month and 4 hours on a weekend to work without getting paid extra (which we hardly ever use). She has a high school daughter and a 3 year old and a husband. She earns about $300 per month. Most ayis working for families with kids have a Saturday as an automatic day and are on call at anytime. She gets the days off per Chinese law and the days off when we aren't working. She does have to work in the summer to take care of the pets.

So I found the following post on the local e-group to be so bitchy and snarky. There is a problem with wage escalation, with ayis pitting families against each other and job-hopping. Those who have been here longer don't like newcomers who don't know the going rate and pay too much.

I think about what I would be doing in the States. I think about what I spend $300 on in a month (my ayi's salary). I think about my house, my possessions, my car, my vacations, and wonder what Xiao and other ayis think. I think about stay-at-home wives who have 2 ayis. I hope I don't run into this woman. But I hope she does respond to what I posted about her note in the e-group! I'll leave it to you to judge...

I have been in Beijing many years and I noticed the Ayis are getting spoiled by the day. They are always asking for raises and refusing to work on Saturdays. I work full time, I have very little time overlaping with the Ayi during week days. I want my Ayi to work Saturdays so we could go over some issues... They will leave you whenever they hear an offer that's 100 or
200 RMB more than you are paying. When new family arrives and looks for Ayi, it becomes
an oportunity for all of them (including the ones who are currently employed) to take the job. They always ask you: "How much you are willing to pay?" Normally the new family will offer at leat at the mid level to the higher end. Sure enough, the ones at the lower end will seize the
opportunity and jump ships leaving the current employer hanging. It is a bad cycle,the Ayis are always wating for the next offer. The wages keeps going up, they could leave anytime
unless you are wiiling to keep up with their greed. I am tired of training them, teaching them my great cooking skills. Instead of being grateful, they brag to other new familys about the dishes they can make (learned from me) and negotiate for a higher pay. Of course, the
new family is never told that they are actually taking an Ayi from someone else. My last Ayi left me to work with another family a block from my house.

Right now, I am on my 3rd Ayi, she only works 3 days for me. She does only cleaning for me and insists on leaving at 6:00pm. I cook when time permits, she helps prep sometimes. Fine, no more free cooking lessons from the Master Chef here!

I don't know how to stop this bad cycle! I know all of us want to have a good domestic
helper and are willing to compensate them well for their work. But by constantly rasing the wages only promotes the greed, and unwillinness to settle among them.

Does anyone has a good solution to better screen the Ayis? And also to make sure that we are not stealing someone else's Ayi!!!

PS...all spelling errors in the italicized portion are the author's, not mine. I refuse to accept responsibility for the paragraphing and spacing, too. I'm just grateful to have Blogger in China (she chants over and over as she vainly tries to insert spaces).