My Response to the Ayi Post.

Some people asked what I posted in reply to the previous post about ayis. In my defense (or to my credit), I think I was very restrained. It is a very public forum and around here a small community in terms of talk. I do feel like I represent the school I work for--unattached and I would have been much more direct about the TONE and the sense of ENTITLEMENT and SNARKINESS and...well, you know.


I am sorry, but I simply do not understand the tone of this. You are upset because ayis want more money--in a job situation where families dismiss ayis for all sorts of reasons not at all related to job performance, where families leave, often on short notice, leaving ayis without work, where job security can be neglible? You are upset because an ayi does not want to work on a Saturday--an ayi that may have her own family to raise and care for? You are upset because an ayi, who has learned marketable skills, takes them and advertises herself as a skilled worker to better her economic condition? What constitutes "stealing"? If I need an ayi and I find one that matches my qualifications, I'm not supposed to hire her if she already has a job? How many of us would apply any of these parameters to jobs that we or our spouses have?


Yes, people often pay too much for services. Yes, there is job-hopping amongst ayis. Yes, as an employer I believe I have the right to have what I want in terms of schedules and duties, etc. I wonder what they think, though, when they work for families where a wife/mother does not have a job and the ayi spends more time at that home than she does with her own family. When they see our material things and our lives and what many of them go home to.


Often, my Western idea of loyalty is that--Western. I found that African had a very different definition of loyalty when we lived in Tanzania. We would call it opportunistic, to the point of leaving jobs, or sometimes stealing--getting what they could at that time, even if it meant trouble later. It was a cultural and economic necessity of their lives. We are lucky to live in a country with "help" but when I read about people wanting to know how little time they HAVE to give their ayis off at majorChinese holidays, when I read or hear about ayis working 60 hours a week, when I know how most of us spend the equivalent of their monthly salary on our recreational or social activities on a regular basis, then I have to wonder.

I know a number of people who have had their ayis for more than 5 years. I know families who set aside money to help their ayis with tuition or health expenses. I know families who visit their ayis at home and send gifts for their children and families. I know families who talk to their ayis about the best way to accomplish something so that the ayi feels validated. We brought an interpreter in twice last year so that our ayi could talk to us about the things that troubled her. She was so suprised and pleased that she could tell us what was hard for her and have us make some changes that helped her--and us in the long run.

Of course there are challenges and trials. I'm sorry the tone of this post paints a large group of people with a very negative tone.

One person agreed with me. One person (so far) posted this:

I agree with your point of view or let say experience 101 %. I have teh same problem. it takes a lot of energy to teach them the way we clean our house especially when they cannot speak a word of english.

In my MOST SNARKIEST moment, it occurs to me that the above poster could use a few English lessons herself. sigh. I guess this is the negative crap you hear about ex-pats and living. How dare people live in a country, get a middle-school education and not speak a word of English?! Really. The nerve of 1.3 billion people.