Book Blast from the Past

I am friends with some great readers. I used to think I was a voracious reader. Then I met Karen. And Calandria. And Ann. Smart, smart people who read so many different books by so many authors in so many genres. One of the biggest frustrations of living overseas is that my friends are reading and talking about great books, which I can't get my hands on.

All of them great readers. But I happen to know that one of my smartest friends harbors a secret desire to be a Harlequin romance novelist. Another reads detective fiction, the kind that I can't figure out why she reads and likes, because I find them predictable--and I'm not high-brow at all and she's so smart.


Then I started thinking about books I've read. Not books that have influenced me. Not books that make any sort of a profound statement. Other than people who write books can write schlock and make a truckload of money. And they know how to paragraph, something Blogger hasn't figured out yet. But (shush, don't tell) they are books I read a LOT back in the day. Books I probably may have hid from my mother. Books that make beach reads look like Shakespeare. Remember these gems?




This still makes banned book lists. It's a lot more tame than it was back when I was in high school. Remember how everyone thought it was about Art Linkletter's daughter? Even though no one really knew who Art Linkletter was? (It wasn't). The descent into to drugs was not so alarming, but remember when she has the flashback and thought her face was melting? That was some "wow." And then she got clean again and makes the decision to start over. And then you get the epilogue that she died--maybe because of another flashback, maybe suicide. Everyone read this.




This is quite possibly one of the best worst series of books. It had everything. Four siblings locked in an attic by the evil grandmother after their mother died. Except she didn't die. She was forced to lock them up by said evil grandmother. Except she wasn't. She wanted to do it so she could get married or something. And she poisoned the young twins with arsenic. And the older siblings got all "Endless Love" together, hormones and being locked up and all. And then when the little twins got really sick, they escaped. And one died. And they all ran away and were found by handsome older doctor. Oldest brother said "thanks" by becoming a doctor, too. Older sister said "thanks" in a whole 'nother way, if you get my drift. And they were still caught up in those "feelings" from the attic. And then Catherine married a ballet star. Because she was good enough to be a prima ballerina after being starved and locked in an attic. But then he got paralyzed.

Subsequent books go downhill from there. If this had been a soap opera, I'd've been hooked. The movie was terrible, worse than the book, though. Why is that?



OMG, Sarah, do you remember this? This was hot in late junior high. Sarah had a pretty strict mother, but somehow she ended up being much more "in the know" about a lot of things. Like this book. We shared a lot of these books together. My other long-time friend...well, she just wasn't ready, I guess. It had drama, and tension, and lots of s*x. I'm pretty sure I learned new vocabulary words. I just remember being astonished that people could actually write stuff like that down. On paper.

Judith Krantz is one of my favorite schlocky authors. Her plots are completely impausible, her characters impossibly beautiful and rich and royal, and she shamelessly namedrops fashion designers, restaurants, hotels, and other chi-chi labels in every sentence she writes. Since I imagine she doesn't actually live this kind of life, her research is amazing.

Remember Princess Daisy and her twin who was handicapped and shut away? And her half-brother tried to attack her and she ran away to New York where she painted pictures of rich people and ponies and sacrified so she could pay for her sister's care? And how she was so beautiful she became a model? And how everything good came to her and not to that nasty half-brother? And how she and Patrick the rich publisher guy fell in love riding a troika at a Russian-themed party?

I could write about meaningful books, powerful books, life-changing books. I bet I've read any of these books 15 times, although not for 20 years or so. But I gotta say, if I saw a Judith Krantz laying around, I'd pounce on it like a cat on a mouse.

So now it's your turn to come clean. What did you read back whenever...or now? Any beauties to add to this list?

Addition: Oooh, I had forgotten these great standbys: Mr. and Mrs. BoJo Jones (teenage pregnancy and marriage) and The Best Little Girl in the World (anorexia). Both stem from the great tradition of the ABC AfterSchool Special, that repository of health and character education for the latchkey set. Also the Judy Blume hot books, Wifey and Forever. Those didn't leave much of an impression on me. I guess when you're learning at the feet of the great Sidney Sheldon, you've gone beyond Judy Blume.